I need your help: Do any other new brides feel the way I do?
I was married to my sweet husband on Feb 28, 09. Life with him is wonderful. He is the deepest blessing in my life. What surprised me 2 weeks after the wedding was - post-wedding depression. Sitting on the sofa in our cute new place, with the husband who is also my best friend ... suddenly I start crying for no reason! (Before I go on - I have met with my Dr and am seeing a therapist next week.) I am normally a happy person, very well adjusted, successful in my business career, but am prone to depression due to chemical imbalance in my brain. Because I have been managing depression since 16 years old, I know this signs of depression in myself.
I think I need validation from others. Validation that my wedding was beautiful and wonderful. I need validation that my photos are beautiful and that it really was a beautiful event (and not just beautiful in my mind).I know this must sound selfish, and apparently the wedding industry effectively sold me on the "need" to have a wedding to showcase to others.
My friends and family are sweet, but they just don't provide the validation I'm looking/hoping for. I didn't post much on here during the planning of my wedding. I wish I had, so that I could have made more friends through this arduous process! You all know how much effort and time this takes!
To complicate matters more, my mom blew up at me the day before the wedding because of tension in our divorced family. This is her pattern: she blows up at me then gives me the silent treatment. She is not a comforting mother, nor is she traditional in any way. She told me how awful I was and just yelled and yelled at me. I cried and cried, then turned to my dad and stepmom for support. They are wonderful.
Lastly, because of the insecurities I've often had from my mom's yelling, I find myself comparing my wedding photos to others'. I always tried not to compare, but a friend of mine got married close to the time I got married, and I felt so insecure compared to the wedding she had. The comparison wasn't so much about budgets, but about beauty. The twisted part in all of this is that I generally feel pretty good about myself.
Please help me. Have you felt this way? If your mom blew up at you emotionally on your wedding day, was it difficult for you to look at wedding photos of that, because it reminded you of that moment? Do you want to see a beautiful day, but instead see your emotional pain (knowing others don't see that pain)? Have you caused yourself pain by comparing your wedding to others?