Can't get in the mood :(

So my husband wants to have sex ALL THE TIME like everyday, seriously & I just cant get in the mood whatsoever and I dont know why!! This is a serious peoblem you guys and I have no clue how to go about it! I love my husband with all my heart but he thinks I dont want to touch him and its really because I cant get into any kind of mood AT ALL!! Do you have any suggestions??


Thanks!!

Posted on June 20, 2012 at 1:04 pm
suzannerice
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(11) Comments

Uhlease
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Uhlease

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I'm sorry suzanne!! I know it seems impossible, but I read in a magazine if you just get past that initial "ugh, I'm not in the mood" stage (it may take a little extra foreplay on his part ;) you will enjoy yourself!


Are you on any different birth control or medication than before? Are there any other things that might be affecting your libido?

Posted on June 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Canooknic
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I have been through a similar thing with FI. Trying to get my head in a sexy place and not think about the kids dentist appointment/new shoes/birthday party etc etc was really hard for a while.

FI took it quite personally but we talked it out and he now understands that I need more than 5 minutes in bed before he can make a move and get a positive response. We spend more time cuddling, lots of back-scratches (I'm obsessed!) and a glass of wine sometimes. It doesn't always lead to sex, but I am definitely more responsive if I've had that time to connect with him throughout the evening
Posted on June 20, 2012 at 4:26 pm
suzannerice
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Thanks girls! I think a little more romance on his part would help a lot too, he is NOT romantic at all and it bothers me and I tell him all the time when he askes why I dont want to DTD and I tell him I cant get in the mood to do it and he gets angry with me :( I try and tell him to be romantic but his extent of romance is a kiss on the neck and lets get to it... I cant do that I need WAY more time before Im even ready to think about DTD.. Im not on any birth control I have my tubes tied and I think that effects me a lot when it comes down to it..

Posted on June 21, 2012 at 3:07 am
Canooknic
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I totally get it, before my boys arrived FI could pretty much take his shoes off and I was good to go! Things change and it's hard to get used to, but you'll get there in the end xxx
Posted on June 21, 2012 at 3:51 am
olga21
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I once read a blog that talked about this issue. I remembered it just in case this ever happens to me...lol. People freaked me out about how sex changes once you get married. So far no changes for us ( after two and a half years of marriage), but we do not yet have kids. One on the way though :P


So anyway. She talked about how you have to turn yourself on during the day and build the intensity. Start with wearing a matching, sexy, lacy undies and bra in the morning. Even if you are going to work. Maybe (if you are feeling extra daring) put on your sexy corset under your clothes. Wear your outfit that makes you feel hot (and even spanx if they help). Put on your best makeup and perfume just remind yourself how smokin you can look ;) It can become forgotten between the kids and everyday rutine. Feeling sexy during the day will make all the difference. Read something naughty (even if it is Cosmopolitan sex tips haha). Maybe even look at some naughty pictures online during the day. You know just to get ideas. And just look at yourself in the mirror throughout the day. Seeing how good you look builds confidence and that builds the mood ;) Send him flirty text messages throughout the day. Tell him that if he does something romantic for you today, you will do something very naughty to him. Trust me he will become a the most romantic man in the world pretty soon...lol


 


The point is to do something that makes you feel sexy for yourself and not him. You might be a mom, but you are definitely still one young, hot woman ;) (I say that because I looked at your pictures and can confirm it haha).  All this might sound like a lot of work, but ultimately it is all about how you get ready in the morning. The right start for the day can make all the difference.

Posted on June 22, 2012 at 8:38 am
suzannerice
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Thank you olga21 thats some pretty great advice I deff dont feel hot and young after running around with 4 kids! But I will try it I really dont have any "sexy" undies but I will have to get some hot garments!! LOL

Posted on June 23, 2012 at 12:31 am
olga21
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Victoria's Secret is having their semi annual sale right now ;) Their stuff is on a pretty good sale. I also LOOOVE TJ Maxx and Ross lingerie sections. They are SO cheap and have so many cute stuff. There is just something about knowing that you are wearing sexy stuff that makes you feel good haha. Ohh trust me you look great and I cannot believe you have 4 kids. I can tell you now that I can barely handle the idea of having one..Scares the crap out of me. You must be doing something right :)

Posted on June 25, 2012 at 9:32 am
jmbuss9
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Awwh, Im sorry! Maybe try to have a romantic night, dress up in lingerie. Candle light dinner! Get them butterflies to come back. I'm sorry, I don't really know what to say to help... try talking to him about it.


Best of luck to you!

Posted on June 26, 2012 at 8:15 am
SpringBride2011
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I can totally relate to this post.....I think part of the problem is, I keep putting the blame on myself, like what's wrong with me, why am I never in the mood, and I think it really has to do with both of us..... it's become routine and I'm sorry but just having my pants taken off doesn't put me in the mood..... 


I think it's definitely a combination of DH needing to warm me up into the mood, like tickling my back, and me making sure I am wearing something that maks me feel sexy cause I don't do that either.....


Thanks for this post, it makes me feel so much better I am not alone! Great advice from everyone!!!!!

Posted on June 27, 2012 at 2:53 am
smooreswifey
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Read 50 Shades of Grey!!!!!



Seriously, I've downloaded a lot of sexy novels since and it has made my sex life SO much better!!!

Posted on August 16, 2012 at 8:49 am
jmbuss9
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^^^^^YES^^^^^ 50 Shades of Grey will definitely get you in the mood!

Posted on August 18, 2012 at 2:54 am

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