if you could do it over...

if you could plan your wedding over again... would you do it differently?

my answer? yes! there are a lot of things i would have done differently. in the end though, it's all about commiting yourself to someone you love. =)

two things i'd do differently... let our parents invite so many people and i should have hired a DOC.
Posted on March 8, 2007 at 2:47 pm
kellyk
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03/07/2007
kellyk

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(23) Comments

MrsJim
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03/07/2007
MrsJim

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Oh boy, if only I could do it over knowing what I know now. That's ok, I'll apply my knowledge for our 10 year wedding renewal! Hee hee hee =D.

Well, I think the one thing I would have done differently is spend more on my photographer. A good photographer is just so valuable because not only are their best pictures better, but you will have so many more good pictures to choose from as well. It's the primary way you will remember your wedding so it is one area you should not skimp on. Our photos turned out ok, but I feel like they could have been so much better and our memories would have been that much better.
Posted on March 8, 2007 at 7:54 pm
Bondgirl007
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03/07/2007
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kellyk, did you mean *NOT* let your parents invite so many people?
Posted on March 8, 2007 at 7:54 pm
Bondgirl007
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03/07/2007
Bondgirl007

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I agree with MrsJim that photography is very important. I really loved my photographer (reviewed in my bio).

if I did it over again, I think I'd talk to everyone during the cocktail hour which would give me time to eat some of the food at my wedding!
Posted on March 8, 2007 at 7:57 pm
margaret
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09/22/2007
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I haven't had my wedding yet, but of course I would have done things differently now that I know more about weddings! First, I probably would have thought about the overall style of the wedding before looking for a venue. We chose the Rincon Center because of the price and capacity, which are two very important factors, but the reception space is kind of cold and has tons of restrictions with decor (only certain colors will go with the decor, you can't have candles, you can only have small centerpieces).

Also, I would have stuck to my dress budget!! I totally blew my budget on that one and now I have to skimp on other things.
Posted on March 9, 2007 at 4:27 am
JadeGirl
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03/07/2007
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Invite less people. If you're on the fence about whether or not to invite them, then don't. Those will be the people who are flaky about their RSVPs, or will RSVP and not show. Definitely not worth the extra stress. Keep it to the people that matter.
Posted on March 9, 2007 at 7:01 pm
Bonnie
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05/20/2008
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I'm just starting to plan and everything is so expensive I feel like I should just elope!
Posted on March 13, 2007 at 8:03 pm
gonzostar
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12/04/2009
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i only regret two things about my wedding. one was that as friendships changed over my engagement, i wish i'd made a different bridesmaid choice and i ended up hurting a friends feelings. second, i would have spent less time trying to keep my divorced parents apart - in doing so, i ended up not getting any posed photos with my dad, which i deeply regret.

also, if we were doing it over again, i know my husband would be a heck of a lot more helpful! he was scared of wedding planning back then - and now that i'm a coordinator and he's a DJ, he's got it down!
Posted on March 19, 2007 at 11:57 am
MrsJim
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03/07/2007
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I would have put my foot down and not compromise so much with people other than my FI.
Posted on March 20, 2007 at 12:12 pm
hannikan
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07/22/2006
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I would have had a reception rehearsal as well as a ceremony one. It would have been tough to squeeze it in but we should have. Mostly because we created our own CDs and had my bros run the music. I would have made sure we had a room for my husb and GM to change in at the hotel my BM and I did. Lastly, I would left more of a cushion with photography (probably paying for one more hr).
Posted on April 13, 2007 at 3:24 pm
rosyw
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06/03/2006
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I was very happy with my wedding but there are a couple of things I would have done differently.

I would NOT have cut my guest list. We thought 10-20% wouldn't come but it was 35% that didn't come. It was too late when I found out so I couldn't invite those who didn't make the cut. Because we didn't have enough guests, we weren't going to meet our food and beverage minimum. We ended up having a cocktail hour with passed hors d'oeuvres, upgrading our menu, offering champagne and allowing 1 liter 7-up & 1 liter cider refills at $5/bottle. We figured that we would rather go over the min and our guests have better food/drink than to have to pay the min without the additional food & drink.

Other than that, I think I would have liked my bouquet bigger and with more ivory roses.
Posted on April 13, 2007 at 5:05 pm
srini
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hannikan - what do you mean by a reception rehearsal? Have the wedding party go over the order of things that will happen during the reception?
Posted on April 13, 2007 at 9:19 pm
margaret
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09/22/2007
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Hi Rosy,


Oh my gosh you're right! I'm so glad you posted this because I just looked at my Yank Sing contract and there is a $14500 good and beverage minimum. And I guess this doesn't include the $4000 rental/cleaning fee? Yikes. =( I think I'll have to upgrade my menu too.
Posted on April 14, 2007 at 4:00 am
rosyw
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06/03/2006
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Hi Margaret!

Yup, the food/beverage min doesn't include the rental/cleaning fee. Originally, we were planning to get the "Love Birds Soaring Wing to Wing" menu (not the lowest one but the second lowest one) and have about 27-30 tables so we didn't every worry about meeting the minimum. It wasn't until 3-4 weeks before my wedding when I received a lot of No's and still had a lot of outstanding RSVPs, I was really worried. My parents had mentioned going to a wedding at YS with a cocktail hour and passed hors d'hoeuvres before so I asked Joy about that. They also set up a wine bar for us during cocktail hour. I wanted to upgrade my fish to the smoked seabass but it was $100/table. At that point, it made more sense to just pick a different menu. Joy suggested that we upgrade the chicken to peking duck for $20 so that helped.

I have a spreadsheet that I used to figure out the YS costs (I broke it down per number of tables). Let me know if you want me to send it to you.

Rosy
Posted on April 14, 2007 at 4:29 am
joe
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Yeah, we may have to end up upgrading the menu at Yank Sing because I don't know if we'll have enough guests. But that's not so bad...we all get to eat better food! Or cocktails. One of the two.
Posted on April 15, 2007 at 4:38 pm
qtqiqi
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10/06/2007
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Would not have bought such an expensive dress! Although dress is gorgeous, probably would regret if didn't get it. It's Ulla Maija Couture.
http://www.brides.com/fashion/dresses/gallery/runway/designer/ullamaija/detail/136989/?ff=Bride&f=Wedding+Gown+Designer%3AAnna+Maier+%2F+Ulla-Maija+Couture&f=Season%3ASpring+2007&max=Season&max=Wedding+Gown+Designer&offset=19&page=3
Posted on April 18, 2007 at 4:32 pm
MrsBabySalute
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06/02/2005
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If I could do it all over again, I would have hired a DOC instead of asking a friend. Since I am a professional Event Planner, I practically planned the whole destination wedding myself. But on the day of the wedding, I just couldn't be a planner and a bride at the same time. I should have spent the $1000 for the DOC so I didn't have to worry too much of the little details. Oh well... we still had a great wedding none the less.
Posted on May 10, 2007 at 9:11 pm
married2mrwright
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09/29/2007
married2mrwright

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married2mrwright

Because I was married 10 years ago (and divorced 4 years later) and had the big, over the top wedding, in many ways, I am getting a second chance. Not only with the choice of husband (now, at 32, I am more than prepared to be married AND have chosen the right man, who is also ready to be a husband) but with the wedding plans too...

I don't wish anyone this kind of hind-sight, but if you have it, it's somewhat of a gift.

The first time around:
--Big, formal City Wedding
--Mass in a Basilica
--Reception in a swanky hotel ballroom
--250 guests
--4 Bridesmaids and 4 Groomsmen; FG and RB
--40 voice choir, organist, pianist, soprano soloist, trumpeter, liturgical dancers
--Custom made gown with 20 foot train and cathedral length veil
--Gourmet Italian Food
--18 piece Big Band
--5 tier, designer cake
--horse drawn carriage

(continued on next post...#21)
Posted on May 11, 2007 at 7:48 am
married2mrwright
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09/29/2007
married2mrwright

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married2mrwright

THIS time:
--casual, beach wedding in Kauai
--DIY ceremony: writing our own vows and including rituals such as a ring warming, lei exchange and hand ceremony
--cocktails at the pool and dinner in a private room at the resort's restaurant
--25 guests
--no bridal party, we have asked all of the guests to wear "Resort Whites" (white, ivory, tan, khaki) and participate in the wedding doing readings, blessings, lei exchange, etc.
--Guitar flute duo for the ceremony and cocktail hour --Off-the-rack dress - Silk Beaded Gown by Sean Collection, available on Nordstroms.com for $300+, I bought it BNWT on eBay for $80.
--Hawaiian-style luau food buffet
--iPod or CDs for the dinner reception; no dancing planned, but could be impromptu with our guests!
--No cake, dessert buffet instead with 10 different selections including my favorite, creme brulee, and FI's favorite macadamia nut tart (like pecan pie) as well as our favorite to share...chocolate lava cake.
--no special transportation...everything is taking place on a resort and it's all walking distance to each other

Price difference between my first wedding (dress rehearsal) and this one!? About half! And this time our closest friends and immediate family will be celebrating for a whole week, not just one day!
Posted on May 11, 2007 at 7:48 am
kells76
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10/04/2008
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I'm not even married yet, but I think if I could go back and plan all over again we would hit mexico and avoid all the drama and money and time that wedding planning takes.  The thought actually was thrown out there, but we liked the idea of the BIG party.  When it comes down to it I think too many ppl focus on the things and not the important reason you are there in the first place.  It's kind of depressing to see so many these days getting caught up in all the hoopla. 

Posted on June 30, 2008 at 3:55 pm
cvillebride
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09/06/2008
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i love this post, and thank you for your honesty brides. i know it can be hard for people to admit that anything wasn't "perfect".


even though i haven't gone through a wedding here are things i've picked up from those i've been too.


-if your wedding is sunday night, people will leave early, really early, like 8. so have it earlier or spring for saturday night.


-don't put the cupcakes out with the buffet, people will eat them with dinner and you'll have no desert drama.


-this is for me personally, limit mother's responsibility. she freaked out at my sister's wedding so for mine, she'll just have to show up.


-this is personal too, but if you have young cousins coming, tell the dj ahead of time not to take more than 1 or 2 requests from them. at my sister's the cousin's pirated her playlist and cleared the dancefloor.


i love the "i spent too much on the dress" comments, i feel like that part of planning is so early and you get wrapped up in like "the perfect dress" so you end up shelling out so much money for a designer dress, if i would have known how many little hidden costs were awaiting me i would have trimmed my dress budget.


 


 

Posted on June 30, 2008 at 8:01 pm
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