Invited guest +3???

My fiancee and I are having a small wedding, ~60 people -- our closest friends and family. In order to have it this small, cut people out (no friends from work, no parents friends, no extended family, etc.). Anyways... I got a reply card from a college friend for just 1 (I had invited friend + guest). In an email she told me she'd just be in town w/ her parents. I didn't respond immediately, but after thinking about it I was like... what's 2 more? and I eventually asked if her parents would like to join us as well. I told myself it was nice to be nice.

Anyways... I just got a reply back saying her parents would love to come, and also now she's also bringing a date. Her 1 just went to 4!?! I realize this is my own fault for opening the door (it's not like I said in the email I was inviting them out of guilt), but shouldn't she know better? Grrrr... Anyways, not a huge deal, but I am annoyed!
Posted on August 22, 2007 at 9:34 am
tahoegirl
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09/02/2007
tahoegirl

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(7) Comments

margaret
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09/22/2007
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I usually ask the person if it's ok to bring my significant other. Though I wonder if people ever say no? I feel your pain though. My dad invited some distant relatives who I don't remember at all, and they decided to bring their kids... so suddenly it became parties of 5 or 6. =P
Posted on August 22, 2007 at 10:50 am
married2mrwright
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09/29/2007
married2mrwright

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married2mrwright

GRR! RUDE! We have a similar, although more embarassing, situation on our hands. We invited one of FI's long-time friends, who lives an "alternative lifestyle" (he is married and has a teenage son, but he and his wife have an open marriage because he is bisexual). We have no issues with his lifestyle, other than we don't really want it on full display at our wedding (especially since it's only 23 people, including us...and my VERY conservative father and stepmother and their 3 adopted children!)

Anyway, we sent him and his family an ivitation (The XYZ Family...meaning him, his wife and his teenage son). So we hadn't heard from them and FI called to check the status of their RSVP.

He told FI, it will be and a guest.

FI asked, "Your wife?" He said "no".

FI said, "Oh, then your son?" He said "No" again....

FI said, "Then who?"

His friend replied "My friend, John." FI assumes that "John" is his friend's latest boytoy

***GULP!!!!***

My FI was so taken aback he cut the conversation short and called me to ask what the proper ettiquette in this situation is...

I informed him that ettiquette is only the people who's names are written on the invitation are actually invited, unless it reads "and guest". Since his invite was addressed to him and his wife and son, he is wrong to assume that he can bring someone else.

FI is emailing this friend and telling him, if you want to travel to Hawaii with a companion, that is fine, but we will not have room for him at the wedding or any wedding related events (brunch, BBQ, sailing, etc.)

Personally, I am hoping this guy just decides not to come...I really don't want to deal with any of this on my wedding day. Especially since we're having a very small number of guests who are immediate family and a handful of close friends.
Posted on August 22, 2007 at 11:00 am
Glimmercat
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05/29/2006
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WOW. Way to go, Lori, in an awkward situation.
It's hard to understand how people can be so rude. Isn't there supposed to be a sort of understanding that weddings are personal intimate events, and even if you're having a lot of people attend, it's not a free-for-all?
In my wedding we'd invited a friend and he discovered the week before the event, that his parents would be visiting him from Greece. He tried calling us to ask if it would be okay for them to come, but couldn't get ahold of us. So he came and left his parents at home... I really appreciated his thoughtfulness...and even more so after hearing about loridecter's and tahoegirl's situations! I feel for you gals.
Posted on August 22, 2007 at 11:35 am
abattyref
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10/06/2007
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I've been having some issues with guests including their adult children in their RSVP. A couple of my mom's friends have been invited along with their spouse. At one time in my childhood I was friends with their children, but not any more. Haven't spoken in over 5 years, aside from the random myspace comment. I get their RSVP in the mail and it says 4 instead of 2. They just included their grown child and her BF. Lame.

Same thing happened with our officiant. He's a friend of ours but FI and I haven't been in contact with his daughters in years. Both daughters are moved out and living with BFs. He wants to RSVP for them too.

On all of these occasions the children aren't even on the B list. Grrrrr.

In one way or another we all feel your pain.
Posted on August 22, 2007 at 12:18 pm
its.nicsknack
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08/31/2008
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From my observation and my attempts at forming a guest list, I'm quickly realizing that this is the most crucial and biggest headache in planning a wedding.

Originally FI and I wanted a small intimate wedding of 50 or less. When we added our closest family and friends, the total was well over 50. The number began to snowball without even trying. We're now at 130 guests and holding. I already see a potential problem because my FI has a few friends that are related to eachother (either siblings or cousins) and we're not planning to invite the whole family of siblings/cousins, just the ones that are closest to us. I fear that when it comes time to RSVP their responses will include themselves, significant others, AND their sibblings. Ugh.

I guess we'll have to cross that bridge when we get there.
Posted on August 22, 2007 at 12:55 pm
tahoegirl
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09/02/2007
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Lilly, you rock! :) I wish I was as strong as you! I stuck to my guns for so long but have caved at last... I'll blame it on last-minute wedding-planning haze. Wish me luck... I've already invited another set of parents to the wedding. :P
Posted on August 23, 2007 at 7:51 pm
StrawberryShortcake
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03/07/2007
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Oh yes, when the parents start trying to invite their long lost relatives and coworkers it starts to get irritating. I don't understand why parents want to invite people who have never met you or only seen you once. Then they get mad at you and bring it up every time they see you. And then the random people they invite are the ones who bring even more random guests. >=P
Posted on August 24, 2007 at 8:50 pm

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