is this too bridezilla like?

I want to ask my BM to remove her tongue ring for the wedding. SHe tends to play with it in her mouth without realizing it. I dont want her accidentally doing it during the ceremony, or this unsightly habit being 'caught on tape" lol

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:13 am
jess143
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(22) Comments

WMforever
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personally, i think it is. sorry jess! but its your wedding and you can do waht you want!

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:15 am
SandP09
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I don't think so. Imagine you're watching your wedding video and all you see is her playing with her tongue ring! Gross!! I wouldn't want anyone of them chewing gum too! People tend to chew their gum like cows when they're nervous! haha


Maybe you can ask her to be aware of not playing with it?

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:15 am
LAMB2009
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I dont think this is bridezilla at all... what is the big deal!! She might bitch about it, but it is your day, it isnt like you are asking her to cut her hair or dye it. If you are asking for something that is free then it should never be a problem. You are paying for the pictures!

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:16 am
jess143
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lol, thanks for your honesty WM! It doesn't bother me when we are out, but she's always sticking it out and stuff....it's really unattractive.

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:17 am
LAMB2009
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If she is close enough to you to be a BM she should love you enough to part with her beloved TRing for a few hours!

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:18 am
jackieg
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i don't think that's unreasonable at all...especially if she won't be able to "control" it during the ceremony...but i'm naive....do they come out and go back in easily?

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:18 am
LAMB2009
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YUCKY habit by the way!

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:18 am
LAMB2009
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Yes they do go in and out easily, and if it is fairly new she can put a plastic clear plug in it. If she bitches, buy one for her. They should be pretty cheap. It is worth finding out.

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:19 am
WMforever
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i dont know just saying. you asked her to be a bm because of "who she is" and i'm thinking that tongue ring is part of who she is. i guess give her the option to take it out or "control" the tongue playing. lol.

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:20 am
LAMB2009
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I agree with you WM, but I just have this visual of the whole wedding party together and one BM playing with her bright pink TRing! How gross... right??

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:21 am
jess143
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I have no clue if they can go back in easily. I have known her since 6th grade, so I'm really close with her.  We were joking over the weekend about me being a bridezilla (I haven't had a moment yet) and I was telling her that I want the girls to wear their hair down..I don't care how they do it, and that her hair color goes really good with the color dresses I chose. SHe told me" you dont know what color my hair is going to be next year." I told her "yes I do...cuz if you change it..your out!" and we hava a laugh, but I don't want o be too controlling lol

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:21 am
WMforever
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yeah you're right! i guess say "no tring in pictures! keep the mouth closed!"


did u see the episode where she had contracts for her BM's? Like, you can't get preggers, gain weight, change your hair, must get french acrylics, etc etc. that was nutso!

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:23 am
soon2Bmrsjaramillo
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I used to have my tounge pierced - and although I was never one to flick it around like some people, I will say that after you get used to it and then take it out temporarily - it also feels very weird.  So there is a likely possiblity that your BM's tounge may be spazzing out one way or the other.  Just food for thought.

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:24 am
neebelung
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I agree with WM... it's akin to asking someone to cover up a tattoo - it's a part of who they are, and you either like them the way they are, or you don't.


But I don't think it'd be outta line to GENTLY mention to her that she unconsciously plays with it... mention it in the sense of "you probably aren't even aware you do this....."

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:24 am
SandP09
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That's going overboard!! I had a friend that was in a wedding where she wanted all the girls to be light! No one was allowed to have a tan before the wedding! Can you imagine?? Hello Casper!

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:25 am
jess143
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lol. thanks for that peice of info! lol. OMG! A contract?!?!

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 9:25 am
caribear
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I agree with neebelung and WMforever... She is your BM because you are that close to her.  And her tring is a part of her.  I think you can definitely say something to her about it, but I wouldn't ask her to remove it.  It is amazing what happens on the day of your wedding.  Your BMs and GMs are there because they love and care about you guys and they want it to be the best day EVER for you.  My brother can be a huge pain in the a$$, but he doesn't think he ever is.  My DH was really worried with how he would act at our wedding.  But he ended up stepping up and taking charge when he needed too, when really the best man should have been doing what he was doing.  So, my suggestion is to trust in your friendship and know that it will all work out in the end.

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 10:01 am
ialagic
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i think if you are really close, she shouldnt take it the wrong way - after all , your wedding pictures are what you will have for the rest of your life and you want her along with everyone else to be showcased in her best light ! i'm sure you can phrase it in a way that is not misconstrued or offensive - and also , frankly , when you sign up to be a BM or MOH, you have to be prepared to give a little leeway to your dear bride friend who is going through possibly the most momentous experience of her life and so should be allowed just a litte...leeway :) i think this is not what i would consider true bridezilla - dom  ( for that see the post on contracts above!!!)

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 4:25 pm
pinkgerbers
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I would mention the problem to her and explain that you know it is not something she even realizes.  You can explain that it is really important to you during the ceremony and the pictures.  Then leave it up to her.  You can suggest that she could take it out if she doesn't want to have to be thinking about the whole time.  But if she wants to take it on, I would say at that point to let it go.

Posted on July 3, 2008 at 4:34 pm
AMiller
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If you feel it will take away from your day and people will notice her playing with her tongue ring instead of your vows I'd ask her to remove it

Posted on July 4, 2008 at 12:21 am
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