Its happened again. FML.

As some of you may know I had a falling out with my second Maid of Honor and long time friend who cancelled on my wedding because she booked a vacation the same week as our wedding date. I couldn't believe that it happened, and I'm still pretty bitter about it, I don't reach out to her at all anymore. Another one of my bridesmaids, my cousins MElanie didn't even bother responding or coming to our engagement party as her way of telling me that she wouldn't be a part of my wedding.


 BUT lo and behold, if you can possibly believe it, this SH***T has happened again. By another cousin no less. I got this lovely message from her tonight, I'll share it will you all for your enjoyment because someone should at least get a laugh out of it. 


 Lyndsay













  •  Hey what day are you getting married?


    Hey it's Saturday September 28th, 2013


    Oh...excuse my language but shit...lol


    Why shit

    It's not funny to joke... 2 girls have already backed out on me...


    I didnt know when it was and, Kyle and i booked a trip to a destination wedding from Sept. 22 till Oct. 2 and shes getting married the exact same day you are

    Omg  really


    Are you kidding me? I til you our wedding date even back at our engagement party.


    That was months ago and i didnt have it written down, im sorry


    No I'm really fucking upset lyndsay. If you have one ducking wedding I be in in knew single year don't you think you would reconfirm the date before booking some thing else like that?


    Sam i didnt know when your wedding was, i thought it was in October or December. Im sorry i dont have the greatest memory


    Well I'm expecting you to be In my wedding party. I asked you over 2 years ago, your my cousin for crying out loud. An I suppose to tell Greg to get rid of one of best friends who are groomsmen because of this?

    Isn't there something you can do?


    I understand but I dont know, ill see


    Thank you so much for trying to rearrange this. I picked you and Michelle because we're family and I love you guys and I truly wanted you both to be a part of our day and it means so much to me 


    I guess














 


So there you have it (the last message was half written by my mom who I called in tears). 

I'm seriously down 3 bridesmaids 7 months before my wedding. I"m ready to call it quits and elope or have my own destination wedding....well maybe not to the second, i burn easily lol. 

Anyone in Toronto want to step in for a day?

 
Posted on February 8, 2013 at 11:04 am
Mrs.Hodder
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(11) Comments

krosa
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09/16/2012
krosa

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so sorry that you are having these issues.  how many bridesmaids do you have?  i have seen weddings where the groomsmen out numbered the bridesmaids and viceversa.  it doesnt look bad.  it doesnt look great, but not bad.  i understand wanting these women to be part of your big day, but if they forget something that important and dont check before making other arrangements do you really want them at the wedding?  i would hate to have had someone at my wedding that was thinking about a destination wedding they were missing.  i understand some people are forgetful...i have an under active thyroid that seriously effects my memory.  but i have learned that i have to write things down so i dont forget.  i dont really think there is an excuse.  worth really thinking over.  if she is meant to be in your wedding things will work out, otherwise be willing to let her go and be greatful for the women who are in your wedding.  if you dont have any other bridesmaids, then that really changes things.  if there isnt a friend to step in, then i would suggest that the groom maybe only have a best man stand beside him...if that, and the other groomsmen that he already asked not stand up front cause an empty brides side looks funny.  unless the guys are your friends too.  then one  or more of the guys could wear the same tux you had planned but a different colored tie or vest and stand on your side and the rest stand on the grooms side.  might have to think out of the box.

Posted on February 8, 2013 at 12:15 pm
Mrs.Hodder
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Well I originally had 7 bridesmaids and 2 are officially out and the third is dong whatever she is doing. FH has 6 groomsman, so when the first dropped off I was fine but the numbers keeo dwindling. This particular girl has a bad memory because she's a stoner so there's no real excuse there. My first instinct was to scream my face off at her but being a reasonable person that wasn't an option. So now I just have to wait and see but I'm going through the list of women I can ask again. The thing is, I feel very badly about having to ask someone to step in again at this point, I feel like it would be insulting to them for not asking in the first place instead of as a runner up. Maybe it's because I'm a libra but I'm very sensitive to how I treat other people. All the same, I'm still furious. Just spent an hour in the tub crying with FH sitting in there comforting me until I could start smiling again which was very sweet of him. 

Posted on February 8, 2013 at 12:35 pm
krosa
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krosa

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agree that was really sweet.  since your wedding is in sept, unless these women know for a fact that you already had your bridesmaids picked out they may just think you are getting the bridesmaids sorted out kinda late.  if they dont know already, then you dont have to tell them.  just make sure the other bridemaids know so they dont spill the beans.  if they already know, then tell them that you have so many friends and family that you would like to include but the seats would be empty, so you asked family first and when some of them were unable you decided to ask your friends.  knowing that family is kinda touchy about things, you didnt want to hurt anyone.  

Posted on February 8, 2013 at 12:51 pm
LaraD2mRdr
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11/05/2011
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Hey... I haven't been on this site for awhile... I check in from time to time but in all honesty, I had to kick out a bridesmaid because of their shit and the girls who stayed in- 1 completely lost touch with me. I mean she is NOWHERE to be found.... I can't get in touch with her at all PLUS she moved and I don't have her new address...

The point is, you have a wedding for yourself and a party for others to enjoy.

It doesn't matter if you don't have matching BMS and GMS.... Just remember its your day, nobody can ruin it and its about the both of you.

Also remember that NOBODY cares about your wedding more than the two of you, it's sad but VERY true.
:/

Stay positive!
Posted on February 8, 2013 at 1:32 pm
Sammy_D
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09/10/2011
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Ok, holy crap. First of all, Lara said it best - you have the wedding for you, for everyone else it's just a party. That means that not everyone is going to grasp how stressful it can be for the bride and how much you count on your girls. A person that couldn't be bothered to even check on when the wedding is... you don't want that kind of selfish friend around you on your big day. It's not hard in this day and age to contact someone and ask when their wedding is. You want someone around you who, even if you aren't that close with them, will understand that your special day is all about YOU and you need someone to be there and support you unconditionally. I also had to replace my MOH, my lifelong best friend actually, because she couldn't be counted on. I went with a few girls who I had a great time with and did what they could to make my wedding special. You should as well, even if it takes you a few tries to get there!
Posted on February 8, 2013 at 2:15 pm
Yasmin84
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10/26/2013
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i'm sorry sweetie it sucks I have to fire my MOH cause she all she wanted to do it bitch about things instead of help so i know what your going through! But i'm with the other ladies on this its your wedding and your party and what will be will be ................do what is important to you and FI

Posted on February 8, 2013 at 4:31 pm
IdoAgain20years
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IdoAgain20years

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IdoAgain20years

Do you have anyone else you could ask and honestly Tell her she is no longer welcome at all.


I mean seriously, She is not worth getting upset over. I know I have bent over backwards for friends of mine to be their for them because I took it seriously. Also, a destination wedding could be a heck of a lot more fun adn then they will know just how unimportant they are to you!


If I were invited to a destination wedding I know I would do whatever it toook to get there. It is so much more special.


 

Posted on February 9, 2013 at 2:27 am
Uhlease
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09/02/2012
Uhlease

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The ladies are right, you don't want somebody in your wedding who doesn't even remember the date! :( One of my bm was asked to be in another wedding, and the girl kept wanting to change the date of her wedding -first to my bachelorette party date, then to my wedding date, but my BM kept telling her she was already in a wedding and couldn't do it. So the girl ended up doing it the week after mine, which was good, but you want BMs who actually want to stand by your side that day!


And don't fret about uneven bridal parties. I think it will look great no matter what! So sorry you're having to go through this :(

Posted on February 9, 2013 at 3:07 am
nikkimcg33
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nikkimcg33

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I lost one of my bridesmaids a few weeks ago too, but what I hate the most is that I've lost someone that I considered a good friend.  During our last "exchange" of words, she let me know that she didn't think that I had been a very good friend to her and she gave me some examples that were valid points, but the way she chose to make them was not right.  None of the examples she gave were anything that I had done intentionally... if I'd had any clue about how she was feeling, I surely would've tried harder to be a better friend.  But unfortunately she held her feelings inside until everything just erupted like a volcano and I was caught completely off-guard and without any warning. 


I am sad that she won't be a part of one of the most important days of my life but even more than that I'm sad that she won't be a part of my life at all anymore, except seeing her in passing at work which is very awkward for me because we work together 4 out of 5 days and the tension is obvious and I hate conflict. 


Simply put, it sucks.


So we will be having one extra groomsman because I wasn't going to make Brian kick someone out of his side of the bridal party... I'm not thrilled with the uneven number of groomsmen to bridesmaids (my OCD is rearing its ugly head!) but it is what it is. 

Posted on February 10, 2013 at 3:34 am
Mrs.Hodder
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09/28/2013
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Yeah, my OCD is going off the charts right now about the equality of numbers but in the end I'm just insulted because this girl is family and I've never done anything to her. Myabe she's pissed at me because her mom is always talking about how nice and hard working I am while she's a stoner who has a loser boyfriend and works at a low end job. In any case, I went to a bridal show with my mom, best friend, and sister and then on a whim we went bridesmaid dress shopping and found what they'll be wearing (for those of whom remain). Seriously, someone who knows about this conundrum today told me "May the odds be ever in your favour". Seriously funny, but also seriously sad :(

Posted on February 10, 2013 at 10:15 am
BlushingBride2013
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BlushingBride2013

Wow...I'm so glad to hear I am not the only one dealing with very shitty "friends" during one of the most important/most stressful times in my life.


I have had so many issues with my MOH, and it came at no suprise to me last week when I received a text message from her telling me that she was no longer going to plan parties for me, be in my wedding, or even ATTEND my wedding and then told me to have a nice F-CKING life...the sad part is none of it was shocking to me...I was honestly waiting for this to happen because the girl has these fits, that's what she does when things don't go her way. And I mean EVERY TIME things don't go her way. This was all about planning my bachelorette party and everyone wanting to do one thing and agreeing on it, even her...and then her getting a new idea that didn't sound as appealing. So she got upset with me because I was honest and told her what sounded fun to me...all the way kissing her ass and telling her what an amazing job she's done, even though all I've done is heard her complain since day one. We talked about a day or so after the text and decided she will still be in the wedding...but I am so angry with her, I don't know how I can have her standing next to me. I picked the lesser of two evils I guess, and that was to continue to have her because there are about 10 members of her family who will also be at the wedding, and I thought it would avoid drama. However, I am not dealing with this well on the inside and I don't know what to do!!!!

Posted on May 2, 2013 at 10:14 am

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