Joint Finances

How are yall addressing the issue of finances?  Are you going 50/50? Using separate accounts?  Joint accounts?  How do you address the bills that were once individual but are now apart of the household expenses?


For example: I would like to have a joint checking and savings account.  In addition, I thinkwe should also then have individual savings and/or MADD money accounts for each of us.  FI thinks it will work if we just do the "separate" thing and then the both of us just contribute a certain amount of money each month to take care of the bills.  I think the majority of the money should go into the joint accounts and we can take out what we need to put in our separate accounts -- not the other way around.  What is someone decided not to contribute that month.  My mother divorced my dad after 35 years because for some strange reason she started thinking that HE was hiding money from her (which he wasn't).  So come to find out, she started separating all her money from him thinking he was somehow "saving up" for some reason (like another woman) unbeknownst to her. Romance without Finance ain't s**t but a damn nuisance. 


I just think that when you have things separated that you leave too much room for assumptions.  If you love and trust one another then you should be able to trust each other when it comes to something HUGE like finances.  If you don't trust your spouse when it comes to money, then why in the world would you want to marry them?  Seems ass backwards to me.

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 6:50 am
oreomaximus
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oreomaximus

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Niecy
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Niecy

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As soon as we bought the house (2 years before the wedding)  we opened a joint account ..... both of our paychecks go in ,  the bills get paid , and we split whatever is left for our personal "spending money"

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 7:06 am
tktoups10
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04/17/2010
tktoups10

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FI and I went to the bank right before we got engaged to put him on my checking account. Well we ended up walking out with another account and a savings account, which are joint accounts. My intentions were to close my personal account and have everything switched over to the joint account. Well a huge problem arose and I decided to keep my account open. I have a few things that are automatically withdrawn from my account every month. I pay all the utility bills plus my own bills with my check. His check usually covers the house note and groceries. Now we discuss major purchases, but small things we just go ahead and buy. He's bad about giving receipts so I'm constantly checking the accounts to make sure there is money in there. Unfortunately we had to take a pay cut and really can not afford to put money into our savings. So I cover each checking account by transferring money back and forth if I need to.

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 7:11 am
soon2beMrs.Jackson
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04/10/2010
soon2beMrs.Jackson

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we are joint. since i am the spender, we both agreed that he should handle the bills but..i am still very much involved. FI is big on the whole 'if something ever happens to me' you need to be able to take care of things and he's right. we each have our own play money account but we have one main account for bills that both of our direct deposits go into every month. we have designated the joint account for all of our bills, groceries and gas. we take money out to go into various savings accounts for emergencies, Christmas, vacations etc;


i have a 2nd job and FI does private lessons on the side so we both use that money as our play money if we don't have any other unexpected bills or obligations to satisfy.

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 7:19 am
soon2beMrs.Jackson
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04/10/2010
soon2beMrs.Jackson

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yeah, Oreo..there was alot of financial 'infidelity' in my parent's marriage and it never turned out good at all!

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 7:20 am
MrzLemUS
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09/17/2011
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We have 4 accounts: Joint checking and savings and separate checking.  Our paychecks go into the joint checking where we pay our bills from.  Whats left over is split in half.  Half goes into savings and the other half is split between us.  Our separate accounts are used to purchase frivolous stuff ie. the really cute pair of shoes I HAD TO HAVE, or the hat he HAD to have.  If we spend what's in our separate accounts then that's that.  Since planning this wedding, we've put all of our "extra" into savings.

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 7:21 am
oreomaximus
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06/19/2010
oreomaximus

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See, Kim, that's a perfect example of why married people should have joint finances -- what IF something were to happen to the other person? I mean, wouldn't you want your spouse to be able to get to the money?  That's a good example.

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 7:27 am
oreomaximus
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06/19/2010
oreomaximus

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Another twist on this thread though:  I hear everything you guys are saying about the joint accounts (and I agree 100%) but what happens when somebody -- especially if its the woman -- makes more money than the other?  Do you still contribute equally and just split everything "down the middle"?


Example #1:  Man makes $32,000 a year.  Woman makes $68,000 a year. 


So she's putting in $5600 a month to his $2600.00 ($8200 total).


The bills are $3500.00. 


So $8200-3500=4700.00. 


Subtract another $2000 in savings and that leaves (4700-2000) $2700.00. 


Split what's left and they each get $1350.00 equally to spend.  Which means he essentially is only contributting half of his check on bills and gets to spend the other half, while SHE is contributing like what, close to 75% to bills?


How would yall TRULY and HONESTLY feel about that situation?

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 7:33 am
soon2beMrs.Jackson
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soon2beMrs.Jackson

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exactly...and since i am dealing with all of this now i know first hand. my dad passed way first and it was hell for me and my mom to find out what accounts he had out there, most of which were in his name only...then the same thing with my mom. it's a HUGE HUGE hassle and you have to go through the court probate system. very stressful and no one wants to deal with that in addition to dealing with the death or illness of a spouse or parent!

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 7:35 am
CheekyMar
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CheekyMar

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The Saturday after we got married, we added me to his account. I HATED the bank I was with. ALL of our money goes into our joint account. I work at a credit union and in order to have direct deposit, I have to have it deposited into an account at the CU first, than it can be distributed to our other bank. So I think I have like $100 spend money left over from my distribution...


I make more than FI, but it all equal to us :) Although if I want a cute pair of $100+ shoes, they are mine :)

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 7:46 am
soon2beMrs.Jackson
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soon2beMrs.Jackson

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ditto Cheeky!!!


FI and I make about the same $ now, but realistically, it probably won't always remain that way but even if/when it changes... everything is equal to us :-)

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 7:53 am
oreomaximus
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06/19/2010
oreomaximus

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That's refreshing to hear!! I thought it was just me being "naive" since I make way more money than my FI does.  A couple of my friends have made the comment that I would be stupid to basically "upgrade him" by getting a joint account and to allow him to spend MY money.  Wouldn't it be "OUR" money? Made me feel kinda bad and unsure of myself (and started making me second guess HIM too).

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 8:04 am
Niecy
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Im a firm believer in everything is "ours"  especially the money

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 8:11 am
soon2beMrs.Jackson
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soon2beMrs.Jackson

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Kimberly # 2 :-) now we all LOVE our girls but be careful about letting them influence your decisions. i made that mistake a few times...and dumb me..i listened to friends who were either single or not in healthy relationships. BAD IDEA. your FI/DH will always be your best friend..at least he should be and vice versa. remember that Trust is key! once you have that intact, you'll never have to question or second guess anything especially decisions about finances!!

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 8:12 am
oreomaximus
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oreomaximus

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Kimberly #1 : Yes, I have had to learn that the hard way.  Some "et um" you-know-whats are jealous and can't be happy for you and would rather you be single and miserable just like them!! But it AIN'T gon HAPPEN!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! (Evil laugh).

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 8:21 am
meanyprice
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We have separate.  I pay all the bills and DH writes me a check out of his account for his part.  I pay 62% of the bills and he pays 38% of the bills because I make 62% of the total household income and he makes 38% of the income.  It comes out to be the same % of our checks...like I contribute 1/3 of my income to bills and he contributes 1/3 of his income to bills...my 1/3 is just more money.  This was the only way that seemed fair because if we split the bills 50/50, he would be broke all the time, which didn't seem fair to me.  We intend on opening a joint account for the bills because me paying and him writing me a check is a hassle, but we just haven't done it yet.  But we will only put bill money in it...the rest is going to stay separate.  If we had together money we would fight about it.

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 8:24 am
soon2beMrs.Jackson
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soon2beMrs.Jackson

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Meany that is great. if it's not broke then don't try to fix it. how we all handle finances will be different but it's interesting to see what works for each of us!

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 8:28 am
Missie1284
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07/03/2009
Missie1284

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We joined accounts 3 months before getting married. I am on my husband's credit cards because his limits are significantly higher than mine (we do not max out our cards ever tho) and he gets points from using them! I let my husband manage all our money and stuff. I know what's going on, but he takes care of the bills and stuff because he's better with that stuff than me!

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 9:34 am
miss_em2010
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We have lived together for over a year. What we do works for us:


Our paycheques are directly deposited into one account. All of our bills come out of that account, along w/ joint expenses such as gas (although I'm the only one that drives to work), food, and gifts.


We each take $400 out every month into our separate chequing accounts as "fun" money - we do with the money as we please, clothes, going out with friends, etc. etc.


It has been working well for us so far with the expeption that many of our "fun" activities are actually with joint friends ie. ski trips etc. that tend to be more expensive...so we constantly question whether that should be out of our "fun" money or joint money...on occasion we end up being minorly in the red b/c of this, but it always works out in the end - we end having to "pay ourselves back" - sounds weird but it works :)

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 2:06 pm
beatie
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10/11/2008
beatie

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Everything is joint...there's no "mine" and "his".  When we first joined finances a few months before the wedding, we thought we would want a joint account and then a personal allowance account for each of us.  But we quickly realized that we don't really care what the other spends the money on - we're not going to grill each other on why we bought x or y.  And neither of us spends crazily anyway.  All the money comes from the same place, right?  We each have an individual credit card that we've had since before we met...that helps with gift buying for each other so that we don't see what or how much it is.  But they are each paid from our joint checking account.  Honestly, what's mine is his and what's his is mine.  We're on each other's investment accounts, etc.  We didn't go into this marriage thinking we need to protect ourselves financially.  We expect to be in this together forever.  So no need for separate accounts!

Posted on November 19, 2009 at 2:28 pm
MountainBride
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07/12/2009
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We are joint - still working it out - but we're headed down the 'yours is mine and mine is yours' road.


DH makes a LOT more money than I do.  He owns the mortgage (bought it 3 years before I moved in even), has investments, life insurance, etc.


I make. . . umm. . .not a whole heck of a lot.


We talked about this before we got married - and he told me that he would rather I be *happy* with my job than unhappy but making lots more money.  And so it is. . .and we are easily supported on his salary alone so it works.  


We have a joint account - however he doesn't contribute to it just yet - we're still trying to figure out how to do that since his accounts are at another bank and he wants to move things around.  He pays the mortgage, random bills, carpet cleaning, fun stuff, dinner out, etc.


I buy the groceries and pay the internet/cable bill. . .for now.  We are moving our money together as we work out how to do it since he's been so set with his routine.  

Posted on November 20, 2009 at 2:22 am
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