Judgement Day....

Welcome ladies….


 


I know that when I was planning my second marriage I was concerned about what some people might think. My first wedding was small and fast and I really wanted to go all out this time (and I did) but was worried that people might think it was wrong and that we should elope and not bring as much attention to it. I say FORGET THEM!!! This may not have been my first marriage but it was my FIRST marriage to DH and we were doing it right.


I have absolutely no regrets about how we did it and anyone that pre judged the situation quickly changed there minds.


 


It is YOUR day and has to be done the way YOU want.


 


 

Posted on January 12, 2012 at 2:45 am
lorna247
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07/30/2011
lorna247

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(12) Comments

Canooknic
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07/19/2013
Canooknic

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My first marriage was a nightmare!! I was too young and stupid.

I was 21, he was 28. I wanted to have fun and go travelling - he said he did too - but as soon as the gold band was on my finger he started talking about kids and I was getting loads of pressure from the in-laws to give them a grandchild. Ex even tried hiding my BC!!
I knew I'd made a mistake and unfortunately ended up walking out on him on Valentines Day, only 7 months after we'd married.

All things happen for a reason, I am now marrying my best friend (literally, we were inseparable for over 2 years before we got together), we have our amazing twin boys and we are waiting for our new house to be built (starting tomorrow!) back 'home'.

I know what is important in our marriage, and it's not how much we spend on our wedding day or where we have our HM, it's about our future together. I can't wait !!
Posted on January 12, 2012 at 3:09 am
lorna247
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lorna247

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I’m so happy for you that you found your true love. At least you figured out what you wanted and didn’t waste any more time before giving yourself the chance and opportunity to meet and be with someone that you really love. I see so many marriages that should never have continued and there is so much anger, bitterness and resentment. People that stay together for kids, out of guilt…. Its sad and not the way anyone should have to live. Life is way to short.

Posted on January 12, 2012 at 3:40 am
lorna247
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lorna247

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Here is my story:


I met my ex when I was 21 years old. I got pregnant with my first son quite quickly and told him that I didn’t want to get married because of a baby and wouldn’t accept a hospital bedside proposal. I had a very difficult pregnancy and went into a major depression (not because of the baby…it was a hormonal thing and I lost 48lbs went pregnant as I threw up about 15 times a day and was in the hospital on an IV getting rehydrated every week for the ENTIRE 9 months) and he stuck by me through it all. When I saw him with our son and thought about how sweet and nice he was I agreed to marry him. When we were planning the wedding I found out I was pregnant again (on our 1st Childs 1st birthday) at the end of October so we did a quick wedding the following February when I was a few months pregnant.


It didn’t take long for both of us to realise that our relationship was al about the kids and our great friendship. There was no passion and no “real” love….


 If I hadn’t gotten pregnant originally our relationship would have probably quickly fizzled and we would have remained best friends. I knew that I should have trusted my gut feelings and not gotten married but I was afraid. Afraid of being alone, afraid of losing as great guy, afraid for the kids…. We decide to end things before we resented and hated each other. Our ultimate goal and priority was (and still is) our kids.


He is now with a great woman who has 4 kids of her own and I am married to my true soul mate.


I know how lucky I am to have found a way to make our relationship work and how lucky my kids are to have such a great dad, a terrific step mom and AMAIZNG step dad.

Posted on January 12, 2012 at 3:41 am
Canooknic
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Canooknic

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That's so nice that you have remained friendly. I am lucky enough to have 3 amazing parents, and a step-monster that I tolerate for my Dad's sake - but they all make a real effort with each other so my siblings and I have a great support network and we can still enjoy family get togethers without worrying about any drama!!
Posted on January 12, 2012 at 5:36 am
gypsystacey
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12/24/2014
gypsystacey

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To funny I was just thinking of this type of group today.

 

My first marriage I was 27 so was ex.  We were married for about 11 years.  He moved me all over BC & now Alberta.  He was emotionally abusive.  He would belittle me in front of my friends & family.  He would constantly make comments on my body I was never thin enough for him even when I was under weight.  It was when he started in on our son that I left him.  He was just shy of physically abusive with me, but I think if I stayed he would have gone that way.  I just found out like on Saturday that he cheated on me repeatedly while he was working abroad with hookers.  HOOKERS!!!!  omg he could have killed me...lol.  On top of it he apparently was bragging to my co-workers about how
many hookers he has slept with...MY CO-WORKERS....lol.  I'm so glad to be out of that relationship. 

 

I am so happy to say I'm in such a better place.  I have a small two bedroom apartment for me & my son & it's MINE  all MINE!!!!!  My ex does see our son, but he seems to be much better with him that he doesn't have him full-time.  I'm now a healthy weight & no longer under weight.  I have a wonderful man in my life that 100% loves each & EVERYTHING about me!  My FI & I are moving in together come July & I just can't wait for that! I'm in so much of a better place now!
Posted on January 12, 2012 at 7:05 am
Canooknic
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Canooknic

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Look at all the love!! I keep telling my friend "you have to survive the frogs to find your prince"!!

Well done my fellow survivors xxx
Posted on January 12, 2012 at 8:58 am
gypsystacey
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gypsystacey

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canooknic - that is soooo true I sruvived my frog as did FI i'm so glad to be over that hurdle & am looking forward to each & every new step with my FI

Posted on January 12, 2012 at 9:18 am
pickaroe
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11/03/2012
pickaroe

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Thanks for starting this group ladies!


My first WEDDING was amazing and it's going to be hard to top it so we're doing something completely different. It's my FI's first marriage so it has to be a "normal sized, traditional" wedding for him and his family.



My first MARRIAGE was a joke. Actually lasted less than 3 months even though we were together for over 4 years before that. I'm so happy that it didn't work out because FI is an amazing man and better than anyone I thought I would end up with.


People keep making jokes about how long this one is going to last or asking me if I'm really sure that I want to get married again... screw them! I'm so happy and excited!!!!

Posted on January 13, 2012 at 6:56 am
Canooknic
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Canooknic

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Yeah, I got the jokes too. I accepted the comments about being heartless and leaving him on valentines day ( because checking the calendar was obviously top priority that day?!?) but anything to do with how long I tolerated the hideous marriage really gets to me - it's a miracle I lasted as long as I did!!

Like you say, I'm happy and excited so screw them!!
Posted on January 13, 2012 at 9:04 am
gypsystacey
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12/24/2014
gypsystacey

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gypsystacey

Glad to see that we are all in better places.  I'm lucky I don't get comments, because my ex no one really cared for...lol.

Posted on January 14, 2012 at 1:07 pm
Siouxzan
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11/10/2012
Siouxzan

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I met my ex when I was 17 and he was 25.  I thought I could handle his being a momma's boy and making all the decisions for both of us.  After my daughter was born he wouldn't help with her unless I put her in his arms and a bottle in her mouth, then went to either cook his dinner or do his laundry.  My tolerance ended shortly thereafter and I knew that he was never going to be what I wanted.


It took me a long time to find my partner, my other half, and we're getting married in a little over 6 months!  We've had little enthusiasm from my family but it doesn't matter because this is about us, not them.

Posted on April 14, 2012 at 4:19 pm
teetee423
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11/02/2013
teetee423

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I am getting married November 2, 2013. This will be my second marriage. Truth be told, I should not have gotten married to my ex in the first place but I did get my beautiful wonderful children (they are grown now) out of it. At first I said I would never get married again until I met my soul mate - the one person in the world that I truly believe that God wants me to be with. He is everything I would choose if I could make the perfect man for me.  It took me a long time before I decided to accept his proposal but he kept the faith and stayed with me and kept asking me every so often. Now I finally accepted and we are about to do this and I know it will be wonderful. Got a lot of questions about different things to do for the wedding but thank goodness I found this website. Thank you PW.


 

Posted on February 19, 2013 at 7:58 am

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