just got engaged but feelin blue

SO i just got engaged and is it totally wrong for me to feel a little sad that


NONE of my friends or family members has done more than just wish me


congrats??!  I remember when I had friends get engaged, I wrote them


a card, even bought a little gift to say hooray for you and yours!  And


I totally don't mean I expect them to do the same for me just because


I did it for them... but I think you angels know what I mean.... sigh

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 5:57 am
maylove123
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03/28/2009
maylove123

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(26) Comments

jess143
10
09/19/2009
jess143

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Ug...I'm like you. Always the most thoughful and caring. It can be very diappointing to put sooo much effort into your friedns and family and then effortlessness is returned

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:00 am
LaVitaBella
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08/30/2008
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I know that when I was engaged everyone would say congratulations and ask to see the ring - but that's it. I wasn't expecting much else though, either. Is it possible that they are expecting an engagement party where they can give you something special there? To be honest, not many people give gifts for engagements anymore - at least where I'm from that is!

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:01 am
d1rtymart1n1
20
12/04/2009
d1rtymart1n1

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congrats ony our engagement... but i kinda do think youre expecting them to "return the favor"...  dont wory about it - and always remember this as you start planning---> nobody is going to be more excited than the 2 of you - so dont have any expectations about anyone else showing enthusiasm or whatever...


just keep on truckin---and have fun planning!

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:03 am
nmrbronx16
5
07/19/2009
nmrbronx16

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Awwww... *HUGS* Well if your friends and family won't say it... I'll say it... Congratulations!!!! *HUGS*

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:05 am
aprilxlirpa
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12/27/2008
aprilxlirpa

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I totally hear what you're saying. Some people just don't think about things like that. When I got engaged I got one card, and it was from an acquaintance I see every few months, not even a good friend.


Its one of the biggest things in your life right now, and sometimes people just don't get how important it is. They think the congrats has acknowledged the engagement and they've done their part.


I would say thank you for the congrats, and leave it at that. The minute you start over analyzing things the harder it will be to have a blast planning your wedding. Don't let the little things get to you this early!!

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:06 am
HeLovesMe
3
04/25/2009
HeLovesMe

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AWWW Congrats!! Dont feel bad, we're all here

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:15 am
Sarahinwonderland
20
10/17/2009
Sarahinwonderland

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AW dont feel sad. i know how you feel my parents want NOTHING to do with my wedding plans and my friends are always too busy. But hey this is YOUR day and you are gonna make it perfect for you! Just forget the other people!

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:17 am
starg8zer
5
04/24/2009
starg8zer

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That's why we have ProjectWedding!


The ladies here are always excited and supportive and won't be bored of the deatails!

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:23 am
soon2Bmrsjaramillo
5
06/27/2009
soon2Bmrsjaramillo

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Yes TG4PW (Thank Goodness for Project Wedding), it's a such a great place to get opinions on all the little details. 


I think it's good so I'm not pestering FI with all questions like, "Which of these two things that look almost identical do you prefer?" I would be driving him crazy!

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:28 am
MissQnomore
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03/14/2009
MissQnomore

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i must admit that i'm the friend who never even thought to get the couple a present or a card. i mean, i did when they had an engagement party (and a generous gift at that) but i guess i'm not the "thoughtful" type.  i wish i was cause then later i'm like d'oh i should've done....x, y, or z.  i wouldn't take it personally. 


also like dirty said, i've begun to realize that we cannot expect from others what we'd do for them. although we'd like to get back what we receive, our gift should be from the heart with no expectation of return.  that's the only way to not be dissapointed in people's actions. sad i know, but that's life.


for me i was content in having a celbratory dinner with both our immediate families.  they orchestrated it for us, but i see no problem with you and fi organizing it and celebrating!


and CONGRATS!!!! WOOHOOO!!!! YOU'RE ENGAGED!!!!! ; )

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:29 am
maylove123
1
03/28/2009
maylove123

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I echo TG4PW! I couldn't believe I found this site and the rest of you!


THanks for feeling me out on this whole topic.  I mean, who could I


turn to, thanks so much! I totally feel betta already!  let the planning begin!

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:31 am
jackieg
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04/17/2009
jackieg

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ditto D1rty and MissQ....i have sent cards to friends of mine who've gotten engaged...and i even got a little present from my matron of honor...just a gift bag with 2 wedding mags and a cute card...but i don't expect it or do it because i want others to do the same for me....


the most important thing is you're marrying the man you love!  welcome to PW...now build your bio!!

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:34 am
SarahBride
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03/01/2008
SarahBride

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Congrats!


When i was planning no one was more excited than me - a few friends were already married so i am guessing they may have had wedding burnout?  I was a little emotional too that the thoughtful things I had done where not returned but I did not truly enjoy my wedding until i stopped having expectations!


I have been lurking these boards FOREVER! and wish I posted more during my planning :)

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:35 am
sandposi
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05/16/2009
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i understand completely. some of our friends didn't even say congrats! when we told them, some said, "yeah, i know, my mom told me." that's it. so, they knew and didn't congratulate us THEN when we told them ourselves, still no congrats.


it gets worse from there, stay tuned, there will be more stories until may i am sure.


what i learned very fast is that 1. PW is awesome. 2. you HAVE to keep your focus on yourself and your FI and what you want and 3. humor can take you a long way! FI and i made a million jokes out of people's poor manners or attitudes, and it kind of is really funny. people are clueless, and generally a little self involved but i guess we all are from time to time.


PW ladies are really great! Become addicted like the rest of us!


 


 

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:35 am
BlingBride22
5
05/08/2009
BlingBride22

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I don't think that people really do much for engagements now of days.... I just had my engagement party and some people got gifts and cards but others didn't know to get a gift,  so I wouldn't be to down and out.... Plus you already got the biggest gift of all.... you get to marry the man of your dreams!!!! A little corny but true :)

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:42 am
Marinag
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10/25/2008
Marinag

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I just read this post and started laughing.  Sorry. Because I remember almost crying when I first got engaged.


I thought my families reaction and my friends would be to run to my aid and offer to help and pay and do and what not. I had high expectations for the second I opened my mouth.


The truth of the matter, 8 months later.  They have all been there for me and now that I'm 3 weeks away. They have all done what they can to help me.  No, not exactly the way I first pictured it. But in their own way and in their own capacity.


I remember for a long while at the very start I was hurt and let down.  Now, I am excited and I feel accomplished because I never thought I'd be able to put a wedding together on my own let alone pay for it!! LOL


Yes, they all eventually said. Is there anything I can do to help.  I think the picture in my head might be a bit unrealistic. Times are hard and people will do what they can.

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:42 am
maylove123
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maylove123

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OMG!  I feel so much better.  your comments and words of


understanding and encouragement make me want to cry!

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:44 am
nova95
3
06/26/2008
nova95

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WE at PW are excited for you! That's what is so great about this forum. Everyone is very busy these days and forgets to take time to celebrate the important events in life. Join the PW sisterhood and enjoy conversing with us about your plans.

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:52 am
Marinag
3
10/25/2008
Marinag

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It's just the picture we have in our head girl.  I remember when my friends got engaged I'd say. Ohhh I'll buy the cake!!!!   My friends didn't do that. But guess what? I don't have to pay for a D.J!!! They are the D.J and the services are free.  They are all throwing me this Bridal shower this Saturday. Won't let me pay for anything.  Everyone offered their time. But I didn't take it because I felt bad that they all worked and had kids and I was a stay at home.  Soo  little things happen and what not. 


The moral of the story is. It is your celebration. Don't think of it as a day when people have to do for you. You know how many brides pay for people to fly places and how many people pay for their hotels and food and what not? The guest are toted around like royalty.   It's how you see it and what you expect from people.  Imagine if our guest expected us to pay for all that and we didn't!!!! LOL expectations are a scary thing.

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 6:53 am
nidia112
4
05/01/2009
nidia112

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Well the ladies have said it all!  Just always remember that we are here to offer a cheer, a hug or whatever it is you need because (sadly) we are the only ones who understand how important that stuff is to us.  While our friends and famiy are happy for us, they have their own lives to lead and we can't expect them to go above and beyond for us.  Still, congratulations on your engagement!  I sincerely hope this is the worst thing to happen to you during this oh-so-happy time! 

Posted on October 6, 2008 at 7:21 am
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