Ladies who have been married in the past month....

... and will be married soon ;)

Words of wisdom from the first people from the "class of 08" as dirtymartini has called it?? It seems like the past few weeks have been prime wedding season and I'm sure there will be loads more before the month is out!

I also wanted to thank you ladies for posting pics because its been wonderful to see your plans come to life, esp after months of the pw.com forums.
Posted on May 20, 2008 at 1:26 pm
champagnecholly
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09/19/2008
champagnecholly

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(16) Comments

caribear
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05/18/2008
caribear

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~Don't leave the small stuff til the week before, if you can get it done early, get it done.

~I loved having our rehearsal a few days before. It was nice having it spread out and allowed me to relax and get a few odds & ends done the day before.

~Give your personal camera to a family member or friend that can take pics the day of. It was so wonderful to be able to have pictures to look at from a guests point of view right away.

~What they all say is true... It goes by fast so make sure to take a moment to check it all out. My DH snuck me in to the reception room so I could see it in all its glory.

~Have a picture list of what you want, especially with family & friends. Allow extra time for photos because you will probably run behind.

I think that is all I can think of right now. :)
Posted on May 20, 2008 at 1:38 pm
MissQnomore
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03/14/2009
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great post champ, i look forward to the replies! TIA for sharing ladies
Posted on May 20, 2008 at 1:55 pm
MarinBride
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04/05/2008
MarinBride

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So funny you should post this, Champ - I was just thinking about adding a section to my bio on this very topic!

Here are mine (many are similar to Cari's):

- Research, research, research. (Maybe it's just my OCD personality, but with each aspect of the wedding, I found that after looking at 100,000 photos of other peoples' cakes, flowers, tablesettings, whatever, I had absolute confidence in my knowledge of what I wanted for our wedding. With each choice that we made, we never had regrets or second-guesses, and that really helped keep the stress level low.)

- Get everything done as early as possible, so that if the unexpected happens right before the wedding, you can cope with it. (In my case, I threw out my back two weeks before and was laid up for days - if I had still been trying to shop or make things, I would have been screwed!)

- Decide what the two or three most important things to you are, and concentrate on those things. (For us, it was food, venue, and photography, and those were the three most-expensive items in our budget. Because those were the things we cared about, we never questioned the expenditure - in fact, we felt great that we were getting the best of the best for the things we loved.)

- Decide what things aren't important to you, and either get rid of them or find a way to do them inexpensively. (We decided that having a traditional ceremony wasn't important to us, so we got married at City Hall. I got my dresses on the cheap (one off-the-rack and the other a sample). We decided to have a limited amount of flowers, and used an iPod rather than having live music. All of these things were concessions in a way, but we never felt like our vision was compromised.)

- Hire vendors that you really trust, and then don't micromanage - let them do their thing. (I never even met our florist until the day of, but I knew from the first conversation that she got what we wanted and would execute it far better than I could ever imagine - and she did! Similarly, I didn't have a H&M trial and we didn't have a food tasting - and both turned out fantastically!)

- Allocate time generously in your schedule. (I left so much time for H&M, photos, cocktails, dinner - I thought for sure we'd be sitting around twiddling our thumbs. But of course, it didn't turn out that way! H&M finished right as our photographer was pulling up, and we could have used another hour for photos, although my DH wouldn't have enjoyed that. Cocktails and dinner were just right, but I wouldn't have wanted any less time.)

- Don't sweat the small stuff - the only thing that mattters when you're getting married is that you're getting married. (For instance, the hotel valet crashed our car right before we left for the ceremony, which ordinarily would have been upsetting, but instead we both just laughed and then went and got hitched!)

- If you're not taking your honeymoon right away, mini-moon!

I'm sure I'll think of more - if so, I'll post again...
Posted on May 20, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Ms.Sumomo
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06/24/2007
Ms.Sumomo

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Here are mine...and very similar to Cari and aching

1. Get everything done ASAP. Don't wait till the last minute. I was able to finished everything 3 weeks before the wedding. DH and I were able to relax and just wait for our big day...so definitely recommend it.

2. If you can't afford it, think twice. We paid for the wedding ourselves and we didn't accrue any debts. It was nice coz we can truly enjoy being newly weds and not think about how we're going to pay for things. I got that advice from a friend who had to worry about loans after the wedding.

3. Do what you want to do and not what your mom, friends or whoever wants but at the same time consider their feelings. It's not worth to be fighting with your family and friends. Planning should be fun and memorable time.

4. It's okay to hire vendors that are not known/popular to wedding site such as PW, theknot and other. There are a lot of reputable vendors out there.

5. Expensive does not equal to quality so it's okay to hire a low end/cheaper/newbie vendors. You get what you pay for is not always true.

6. The day truly go by fast...take a moment to take it all in since you don't get to rewind. Enjoy the day to the fullest by delegating all the work to others and trust your DOC/planner that he/she will do a good job.

7. Do have a mini getaway if you are not going to your honeymoon right away. DH and I left for our HM 2 days after the wedding and it was a blast. We were able to relax and just enjoy being newlyweds.

8. Don't be an impulsive buyer and/or do impulsive decision making. Think it over...talk to your FI to make sure you really get what you want...you don't get to hit undo button.

HTH
Posted on May 20, 2008 at 3:58 pm
ceejaydee7
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01/01/2016
ceejaydee7

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adore the tips. thank you ladies!
Posted on May 20, 2008 at 4:41 pm
HolyMolyMatrimony
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08/31/2008
HolyMolyMatrimony

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Yes, very helpful! Makes me step back a little bit and hope for a clear head before the big day!

- HMM :)
Posted on May 20, 2008 at 5:21 pm
pinkgerbers
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07/26/2008
pinkgerbers

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Thanks. It really is lighting a fire under me. I've been slacking lately. :)
Posted on May 20, 2008 at 5:22 pm
PunkRockWedding
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05/10/2008
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PunkRockWedding

1) If you can afford it hire a coordinator... this took huge amounts of stress off. I would have never been able to figure out how to build and permit a tent, coordinate vendors and create as many helpful spreadsheets as mine did. Plus, she showed up the weekend of the wedding with like six other women who made everything run like clockwork. I said, I think I need to touch up my lipgloss and suddenly one of them was there with my purse. I would lean to my maid of honor and say, "I think I'm going to get more champagne" and one of them would be by my side with a bottle refilling my glass. They also corralled other people and kept everything running on time as well as set everything up and put out all the crafty things I did so I could just focus on being with friends and family. My biggest #1 was getting a coordinator and it paid off.

2) If someone in your family really wants to do something and it's not something you feel you care about or want to be bothered with let them do it. This can result in less stress and lots of fun surprises (vocalists at cocktail hour, custom card baskets and photo tribute tables!) Plus, I think this helps keep them busy so they won't poke their fingers in the things you REALLY do care about.

3) Lean on your talented friends. Never underestimate the power of friends! Tell them you'd love their skill as your wedding present (because who wouldn't?). We got: all music (ceremony and reception) lighting, sound system, some photography, and more for free. This saved us thousands of dollars.

4) Remember your wedding is not a competition and make sure it reflects who you are. Big or small, fancy or casual, as long as you feel like it represents you and your fiance/husband it's awesome!!

5) Definitely don't micromanage. I agree with Aching. I had no idea what any of my flowers would look like until day of or the cake and all of it was spectacular.

6) Repeat the mantra, "No matter what, I will still be married." When all is said and done that's the big thing that matters and it makes everything else seem less stressful.

7) Have them put food in your suite so in between ceremony/reception you and your new husband actually get a chance to sit down and eat. Then join the party.

8) Don't be afraid to improvise and change things on the fly. If the mood is not adhering to your timeline go with the flow. If it all of a sudden seems like people want dessert an hour early... cut the cake! (this is where a coordinator comes in handy)

9) Something will go wrong. Expect it and you can laugh it off. My one thing was that the rental/service trucks practically totaled our car. (Aching, sounds like we had a lot of similar things!) We went to leave for the honeymoon the next morning and it was bashed in from both sides. Awesome, but we just shrugged it off.

Anything else?? HAVE FUN!
Posted on May 20, 2008 at 5:42 pm
champagnecholly
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09/19/2008
champagnecholly

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champagnecholly

Wow a lot of car accidents! Note to self don't take any of the nice cars to the ceremony/reception.
Posted on May 21, 2008 at 2:18 am
MarinBride
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04/05/2008
MarinBride

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Yeah, thank goodness ours was a rental! =)
Posted on May 21, 2008 at 3:36 am
pinaychic
2
04/21/2008
pinaychic

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absorb the moment, it goes by pretty fast

if there are a few minor things hanging then let it go. have a cut off point
Posted on May 21, 2008 at 4:23 am
cin803
2
05/17/2008
cin803

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My advice...

Since most of us planned our own vision of our wedding. You have to let things go on the day of. You have no control of the delays or mistakes that day. Shiet happens and just enjoy your day.

I left my execution tasks to a team of friends. They did a wonderful job and executed my wedding setup on what I wanted. Kudos to them.
Posted on May 21, 2008 at 5:03 am
PunkRockWedding
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05/10/2008
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PunkRockWedding

Yeah, unfortunately it was my car. Going into the shop tomorrow morning! Is it terrible that I'm glad my car got hit instead of something going wrong with the actual wedding?
Posted on May 21, 2008 at 5:45 am
m824
3
08/24/2008
m824

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Thanks for all the advice ladies:) I find myself getting so caught up in everything...this helps remind me to sit back and enjoy. After all this only happens once in our lives. :)
Posted on May 21, 2008 at 5:53 pm
hannah08082008
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08/08/2008
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hannah08082008

Thanks for the advice ladies. You all looked so good on your special day.
Posted on May 21, 2008 at 5:59 pm
cin803
2
05/17/2008
cin803

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cin803

Also try to leave for the rehearsal earlier than planned. I was 1.5 hour late due to a fatal stabbing that happen on 680. We were all stuck in traffic going 5 mph. I was sooo irriatated. Good thing the event caption at the venue was stuck at the same mess.

Who just kills out of the blue? Weird people. I can't explain people these days.
Posted on May 21, 2008 at 6:46 pm

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