"Losing" friends?

So, now that I'm a married woman of 10 weeks and wedding-related stuff is starting to taper off (although I still have to do the thank you cards), I've found that I've "lost" friends.  Is anyone else in this situation?


I used to live in Oakland and had around 3-4 single friends who I can count on to do last min things with.  I'd send a text msg to meet up for drinks/dinner/something and at least 1 was free to do something.  Now that I moved on the other side of the bay (after the wedding) and it's 35 miles from where my hanging out buddies are (45 - 90 mins away, depending on traffic) , I feel kinda friendless.  I mean, I still have my big group of friends so whenever we throw a party or organize some sort of event (bbq, potluck dinners, concerts, play, etc) we always have a good group but it's always 3-4 weeks in advance. Nothing last minute.


I do have 2 good friends who live 15 mins away from us, but they both have kids so it's not like they can just meet up with me for drinks or coffee or whatever.


I've even posted on the SF Bay Area group looking for hanging out buddies but so far no takers.


So, for you marrieds, what did you do to expand your social circle & look for other people to hang out with?

Posted on September 17, 2010 at 12:34 pm
PigglyWiggly
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07/10/2010
PigglyWiggly

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(13) Comments

Boricua_Bride
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12/31/2015
Boricua_Bride

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I understand you very well, is like a process or transition, the friends don't understand or don't fill in.  Is like if they have a kid birthday party and you are not invited just because you don't have kids.


If I live in that area I will hang out with you...but I am in the other side of the country.

Posted on September 18, 2010 at 7:54 am
jamichael
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05/16/2009
jamichael

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i can definitely relate. i live in brooklyn while my close girlfriends live in manhattan and are single. it's not that far, but it's much easier to make last minute weeknight plans when you live in manhattan. when i first realized that the two of them were making plans with each other, i felt totally left out... on the other hand, some of my other close friends are married and have recently had babies. they've started getting together for playdates and such, and again, i've felt left out...


i don't really have a solution, but i've gotten used to things. i make plans with my single friends when i can. we visit our friends who are parents for lunch on weekends when we can. we do have a few married couple friends who don't have kids, so we probably see them the most. otherwise, i just enjoy quality time with DH!


if you're looking to meet new people, maybe you can your DH can try taking a cooking class or a ballroom dance class together and meet new people that way. or volunteer with a nonprofit organization. around here there are lots of nonprofit orgs that are geared towards young professionals. i've met a lot of my closest friends that way!

Posted on September 19, 2010 at 5:09 am
ellenandleneal
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12/05/2010
ellenandleneal

ellenandleneal

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ellenandleneal

I definetly understand, I dont have any girls I truly count on as a ride or die chick like I used to and it really sucks. Hence FH gets dragged to clubs every 6 mos or so.

Posted on September 20, 2010 at 11:11 am
kjam3
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11/28/2016
kjam3

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I'm so worried about this too!!! I'll be visiting my friends from time to time but it'll be hard to adjusting to new people in my new area


Posted on September 27, 2010 at 7:54 pm
BEAN23
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05/22/2010
BEAN23

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I understand!  I moved about 45 miles from where we use to live to be closer to work and my family.  At the same time we got married two different friends had babies (all between May and July)... things are just different now and I don't have friends up in the burbs.  Not to sound completely cheesy but I'm thinking about taking some country line dancing lessons or something that will get me out of the house because being cooped up in our apartment is not good for the new marriage! : )

Posted on September 29, 2010 at 4:39 pm
miss*bling
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08/14/2009
miss*bling

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the one thing I could think of is meeting up with coworkers or joining a church, they have lots of groups usually that meet outside of church and do outings...

Posted on October 13, 2010 at 11:14 am
Kristen_Tater
10
08/20/2011
Kristen_Tater

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Kristen_Tater

I have done what miss*bling suggested!! When FI and I moved 2 1/2 hours away from anyone... we literally had NO friends in our current city!! Work helped - my coworkers were cool!! :)
the biggest thing that helped was going to church! Our
close group of friends we all met through church, so
that helped a lot! I would also volunteer/join a club
of some sort... you can meet a lot of people with the
same interests as you!! HTH!

Posted on October 13, 2010 at 11:53 am
missdoxxy
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04/10/2010
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missdoxxy

All of my close friends are married or are getting married. We make time for a girls only dinner from time to time. When it's wedding season, we see each other all the time. After all of us are married...next is baby shower season.

Posted on November 8, 2010 at 10:09 pm
olga21
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11/14/2009
olga21

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Yes.... Sadly I am first to be married amongst my friends, and for some reason it has influenced things a little. I guess they feel that because I am married I am not as fun anymore. They party a lot and I do not because I am pretty over it. I did that in high school.

Posted on January 26, 2011 at 9:30 am
VheartsM
5
10/16/2010

VheartsM

Hi Ayelle!


We should hang out sometime! I finally made it over to the peninsula side :)

Posted on January 26, 2011 at 10:59 am
amanda6033
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05/15/2010
amanda6033

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amanda6033

I didnt even move anywhere, but now that were married, its like people dont think to call us to go out anymore. I swear, I've lost 1/2 my friends.

Posted on January 29, 2011 at 10:34 pm
PigglyWiggly
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07/10/2010
PigglyWiggly

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PigglyWiggly

Hi Val! just let me know when you're free.... welcome to the peninsula!! :)

Posted on February 1, 2011 at 10:38 am
venustxbride
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10/23/2010
venustxbride

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venustxbride

wow I thought i was the only one that had this problem...


I am not much a social person, well i didn't have very many friends to begin with but I have seen a difference.  You see I am(well WAS) really close   2 sisters, and i have one or two friends and i hardly see them now.


I moved 45 mins away from were i used to live and now to my family/friends its like i moved to a whole different state!!! the sad part is that my parents have a piece of land not even like 10 mins from where i live and then can't come see me!!! UGH.


DH and i joined this church and that helps, i have even taken up a new hobby but that is not the same...


I invite my sisters and my one dear friend but he has bailed out on me.  telling me she can't, but then on FB she posts that she is out drinking with some other peeps or needs a date to go out to a movie with... :(

Posted on April 4, 2011 at 8:09 am

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