Marriage Preparation Questionnaire??

I know that a few of you have gone to religious pre-marital courses, but I'm wondering if any of you have filled out a marriage prep questionnaire? We've been in couples counseling for a few months to work through some past issues (which has been wonderful!) and have been given the survey to fill out. We're supposed to complete it separately and then compare our answers. I really thought that outside of the issue we're going to counseling for, we'd have very similar thoughts/answers, but I'm worried!!! I've just filled mine out and I'm kind of cringing over how my FI will answer. Just wondering if any of you have encountered this and how it turned out??? TIA :)
Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:13 am
deedee8370
3
07/03/2010
deedee8370

deedee8370

  • 3
  • 6
  • 1.67k
38
Followers
41
Following

(24) Comments

nickisansonetti
3
08/01/2009
nickisansonetti

nickisansonetti

  • 3
  • 10
  • 1.2k
95
Followers
99
Following

nickisansonetti

Me and my fiance just finished out marriage pre cana classes last week. We were asked to fill out a couple questionaires in the class then we compared them. Me and my fiance got really close on them. But we have also lived together for 4 years. And we are so much alike, so i knew we would be close. I hope yours are just as close.. I wouldnt sweat it.

Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:17 am
Mrs.V2Be
3
05/09/2009
Mrs.V2Be

Mrs.V2Be

  • 3
  • 12
  • 1.98k
84
Followers
87
Following

Mrs.V2Be

We got our results a week after pre cana...dont worry It will show you areas where you both can work at together. Or bring the area up for talking if both hadnt done so.

Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:19 am
MrsWagner2b
4
10/03/2009
MrsWagner2b

MrsWagner2b

  • 4
  • 11
  • 4.53k
72
Followers
76
Following

MrsWagner2b

we have a whole book we have to do!!  I think its called "getting ready for marriage" but not sure.  There are some we do together, and some we do separately then compare... then we meet with the minister and go over everything!

Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:20 am
thedaphney
3
09/19/2009
thedaphney

thedaphney

  • 3
  • 10
  • 1.32k
50
Followers
54
Following

thedaphney

We did that. Our's was called Prepare/Enrich. We scored really high on it. I was worried about some of it too!! Don't worry. I'm sure you'll be fine.

Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:20 am
BrideInNovember
4
11/07/2009
BrideInNovember

BrideInNovember

  • 4
  • 14
  • 3.25k
198
Followers
201
Following

BrideInNovember

Hi.. I took the catholic pre-pare questionnaire with my FI in our marriage course.  They send it off to an agency who data enters the info into a computer and it spits out the compatibilities as a couple. 


We both assured eachother that we answered "HONESTLY", as in "yes she's bossy sometimes" rather than "she never bosses me around", etc...


We got our results back and I was so upset b/c quite a few areas told us we weren't compatible.. and I'm sitting there thinking "Well what the hell is this supposed to mean?"...


Turns out at least 1/2 of the 30 couples in our group were not compatible at all... the only couple who got 100% compatibility obviously compared all answers to eachother, right down to the way they worded some answers... (lame!)


Don't stress!!  I learned a few things about him that I really LOVE!  They seriously won't tell you NOT to get married, they'll just advise you on ways you can communicate your differences, rather than dwell on them!! Differences are GOOD!

Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:20 am
deedee8370
3
07/03/2010
deedee8370

deedee8370

  • 3
  • 6
  • 1.67k
38
Followers
41
Following

deedee8370

Daph....that's the one we're taking. Our guy warned us that there will be some areas where we will naturally answer very differently from each other and it's not necessarily a bad thing...which is fine...I don't want to be one of those "perfect" couples! I guess I'm just afraid that there are some major underlying stuff that will come up...I don't know why...we've been going to counseling for 6 mos!
Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:25 am
deedee8370
3
07/03/2010
deedee8370

deedee8370

  • 3
  • 6
  • 1.67k
38
Followers
41
Following

deedee8370

btw...BrideInNov...that is totally lame-o that a couple wrote down the same answers. That would be the ONE couple whose future I'd be worried most about!!!
Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:29 am
BrideInNovember
4
11/07/2009
BrideInNovember

BrideInNovember

  • 4
  • 14
  • 3.25k
198
Followers
201
Following

BrideInNovember

we had a HUGE group in our pre-marriage workshop weekends... we all came back for a follow-up a month or so after the last course (kinda all met up as a church gathering), and there was at least 5 couples out of 30 or so that were no longer getting married...
The "100%" couple was one of them... coincidence, I THINK NOT!


Seriously though, there are sections of the questionnaire that you both will NOT be perfect on, it's natural...


What do you ladies think about it though, don't you think ALL couples should be taking this pre-marriage course?? We thought it was awesome, laughed our asses off at times, opened up plenty of conversations that were great!! We still laugh about some stuff... :)

Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:33 am
meadowcroft14
5
08/01/2009
meadowcroft14

meadowcroft14

  • 5
  • 16
  • 5.82k
245
Followers
249
Following

meadowcroft14

Does anyone have a copy of a questionnaire like that? FI and I aren't having a pastor do the wedding, but I'd like to do this on our own. 

Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:34 am
deedee8370
3
07/03/2010
deedee8370

deedee8370

  • 3
  • 6
  • 1.67k
38
Followers
41
Following

deedee8370

I TOTALLY think couples should take some kind of course, counseling, questionnaire... I've already been married/divorced and had we been required to do so, I probably wouldn't have married him. There are so many issues that you think will go away or change after the wedding and they DO NOT!!! As worried as I might be about the results of this survey, I wouldn't change it. Counseling has actually been the best thing for us and has gotten us to where we are today, planning a wedding :)
Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:37 am
BrideInNovember
4
11/07/2009
BrideInNovember

BrideInNovember

  • 4
  • 14
  • 3.25k
198
Followers
201
Following

BrideInNovember

They don't give you back the actual questionnaire, just the results...


but this is the exact website that processed the info:


https://www.prepare-enrich.com


It might even be worth completing and paying the fee, it's great info :)

Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:38 am
deedee8370
3
07/03/2010
deedee8370

deedee8370

  • 3
  • 6
  • 1.67k
38
Followers
41
Following

deedee8370

Meadow...sent you a PM.

I can scan it and send it to anyone that wants to see it. Of course, the results interpretation isn't taken care of, but it gives you an idea of where you alike and differ on specific topics.
Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:40 am
MrsWagner2b
4
10/03/2009
MrsWagner2b

MrsWagner2b

  • 4
  • 11
  • 4.53k
72
Followers
76
Following

MrsWagner2b

They have the book we are using on Amazon for $11.04


They have the book photo 494770-1


 

Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:40 am
thedaphney
3
09/19/2009
thedaphney

thedaphney

  • 3
  • 10
  • 1.32k
50
Followers
54
Following

thedaphney

deedee: Right, you shouldn't answer the same on everything... it did show what we need to work on and I think that is a good thing. We were a "vitalistic" couple. Let me know what you guys end up being.

Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:43 am
deedee8370
3
07/03/2010
deedee8370

deedee8370

  • 3
  • 6
  • 1.67k
38
Followers
41
Following

deedee8370

I will do that...we'll find out on Friday!
Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:44 am
Sparkalicious
3
09/06/2009
Sparkalicious

Sparkalicious

  • 3
  • 10
  • 850
62
Followers
65
Following

Sparkalicious

Yep.  We are getting married in the Catholic church and our church required us to do a FOCCUS inventory/test, in addition to, the standard marriage prep. 


We completed the inventory individually and in separate rooms last year and we just met with a married couple in our parish to go over our results.  I'm really glad that we did this.  Our results, while for the most part point towards compatibility, highlighted some areas for improvement or areas that require greater communication.  The FOCCUS inventory results created an opportunity for us to discuss these issues and keep them on our radar.


It's really interesting b/c we both answered honestly and it's amazing how many things change in a year.  We have really grown and progressed as a couple throughout our engagement period with our increased focus on the elements that will make a marriage successful.

Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:48 am
Sparkalicious
3
09/06/2009
Sparkalicious

Sparkalicious

  • 3
  • 10
  • 850
62
Followers
65
Following

Sparkalicious

Meadow - I found this online.  I hope it helps.


http://www.foccusinc.com/

Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:49 am
BrideInNovember
4
11/07/2009
BrideInNovember

BrideInNovember

  • 4
  • 14
  • 3.25k
198
Followers
201
Following

BrideInNovember

the prepare also has a follow up... i'd be interested to see what our results would be in a year or two!!


There was a couple there in thier 50's with their 18 yr old daughter and her FI... basically to talk them out of getting married so young... the older couple met with everyone at our followup lunch, the 18 yr olds aren't getting married anymore, and they said their 25 yr marriage resulted in not 100% compatibility!! So that goes to show you that you shouldn't stress about it!

Posted on May 6, 2009 at 9:52 am
tmcalvin1181
1
11/07/2009
tmcalvin1181

tmcalvin1181

  • 1
  • 5
  • 153
23
Followers
27
Following

tmcalvin1181

The purpose of those questions is to see what you as a couple need to work on...i think it's great. I know my fiance well enough to figure out his answers and if i didn't we shouldn't be getting married! I might be one of the only non religious person who liked pre cana...a little boring but i def learned A LOT!

Posted on May 6, 2009 at 10:18 am
dana.rw
3
10/24/2009
dana.rw

dana.rw

  • 3
  • 7
  • 1.52k
28
Followers
32
Following

dana.rw

We still have to meet with our pastor but I am told we have to fill out an "inventory" something like that to go over in our sessions with him. I am kind of excited/interested to see how it goes.

Posted on May 6, 2009 at 10:21 am
« 1

Have a question? Contact Support
Top Contributors this Week
shawnelanglais
shawnelanglais
11 posts
Canooknic
7 posts
krosa
4 posts
NicholeB
4 posts
Uhlease
4 posts
LauraSweet
3 posts