Mayday!!! Need advice, too much drama to handle! lol

So...life right now is INCREADIBLY hard for my FI and I.  Long stories, but things like his office promised him a new job, and then have left him jobless for 2+ months even though he was supposed to start the new one (moving from one position to another) 2 months ago....living with family while we wait. Wedding family drama (mostly the usual. Not a huge deal.) I have health issues like crazy right now, ovary cysts, stomach ulcers (from all the stress), money stuff...pretty much you name it. 

Wedding planning has been insanely hard so far! We can't even book anything until we have two incomes since we're paying for the whole thing ourselves. 

BUT the biggest issue has come this weekend.  

My FI's friend, who's basically family, got engaged on Valentines day. They want to get married this summer (I understand completely, I haven't liked having a long engagement either, so I support them on the "quick" engagement.) 

 

HOWEVER, the new news is that they're now getting married the SATURDAY after us!!  

 

I am shocked, upset, pissed and pretty much every emotion possible. These two and their families are like families to us (more so than my cousin that has decided to get married the same weekend as us, but that didn't even bother me honestly, we're not really family except for the blood/dna part.) But these guys are CLOSE.  And they KNEW our date for about a year now. They also knew we were planning on a 2+ week honeymoon to Europe if my FI can get the time off work.

 

Advice? FI wants to ask them to change the date in all honesty. He's also one of the best men so he's expected to be home 5 days AFTER our own wedding to be a part of theirs. 

 

What on earth do I do with this?!?! AHHH!

Posted on March 2, 2014 at 6:38 pm
ashmg
1
08/08/2014
ashmg

ashmg

  • 1
  • 3
  • 22
1
Followers
5
Following

(11) Comments

Canooknic
5
07/19/2013
Canooknic

Canooknic

  • 5
  • 18
  • 5.69k
202
Followers
196
Following

Canooknic

So sorry that you are having such a tough time (I'm going to play devil's advocate) - 

What is it that upsets you about them getting married the week after you? I totally understand that you would have to delay your honeymoon by a week (and get why that would be annoying) but what else has hurt you?

Does the date that they have set have a special meaning to them?

We set our date and 6 months later my brother & SIL set theirs for the following weekend. I was a bit put out at first, but then it became so much fun because we were planning together and it basically became a 2 week celebration - so much better than I could have imagined.  It doesn't have to be a negative thing

Posted on March 2, 2014 at 8:01 pm
ashmg
1
08/08/2014
ashmg

ashmg

  • 1
  • 3
  • 22
1
Followers
5
Following

ashmg

 The biggest thing is we might actually have to skip a honeymoon altogether (or put it off for a year or so.) Becuase of FI's work schedule.  He may have only been able to get a week and half to two and half weeks off anyway, since he'll be pretty high up in the company (IF they get back to him, they've been sketchy with this new job.)  

 

And I'm semi-okay with putting off my dream trip (I only day dreamed about my wedding ONCE growing up, but I dreamed of this Europe trip since I learned about this particular country when I was 7. No joke.)  But it's the fact that they're walking all over us because we're not super up on wedding planning. I'm definitely one of those girls that is NOT all about my wedding. It's just a small priority in the grand scheme of my life. And we both feel they're taking that as a sign that they can do whatever they want to our date/week/end and we'll be okay with it.  Other friends and family have done the same, like messing with their plus ones and turning them into plus 3's or whatever. Just because I'm not SUPER into wedding planning doesn't mean they can walk all over ours. And that's the biggest argument FI and I have. The dream trip is crushing, because this will actually be the FOURTH time I've planned a trip like this and it's had to be canceled...but the walking all over us part is the breaking point.  

Posted on March 2, 2014 at 8:28 pm
Canooknic
5
07/19/2013
Canooknic

Canooknic

  • 5
  • 18
  • 5.69k
202
Followers
196
Following

Canooknic

 Oh no!!!! That's not nice at all, they shouldn't be taking anything from your day. Just remember that you're marrying the love of your life and regardless of all the craziness that may happen before your wedding it will be the happiest day of your life.

Where in Europe are you planning to go? There are so many beautiful places, you will love it and you'll get there one day. Keep smiling xxx

Posted on March 2, 2014 at 10:33 pm
jmbuss9
5
07/22/2012
jmbuss9

jmbuss9

  • 5
  • 17
  • 8.15k
319
Followers
305
Following

jmbuss9

Ohh man! Yes talk about a lot of stress going on your way. I am so sorry to hear about all that. I would think they would know that your honeymoon is right after? Maybe you could remind them/explain to them that y'all will be gone on y'alls honeymoon and wont be back in time for their wedding if they do it the week after yall. -- Unless, you could postpone the honeymoon until after their wedding, since yall are so close you guys wouldn't want to miss their big day...

So sorry to hear all that. But best of luck to you... hopefully the stress will calm down and you can recover from all your health issues. You need to get better. 

Posted on March 3, 2014 at 10:01 am
ashmg
1
08/08/2014
ashmg

ashmg

  • 1
  • 3
  • 22
1
Followers
5
Following

ashmg

 Thanks so much loves! It means the world to me! :)

Posted on March 3, 2014 at 10:22 am
Uhlease
5
09/02/2012
Uhlease

Uhlease

  • 5
  • 18
  • 9.86k
334
Followers
315
Following

Uhlease

 Ouch. That's hard to deal with -but please don't get so stressed your health suffers :( That's no good in the long run. in the long run marrying the love of your life is all that matters. and even though these people are Close-closer than family- makes its harder, but I agree with Juliee...if they know that you guys are planning your trip and won't be able to change it, maybe they will understand (they haven't booked a venue for that weekend yet have they?) or you miss their wedding. I'm kind of in the boat right now, that you and FI just do what is best for you two -not everybody else. Even though that's easier said than done! 

Posted on March 4, 2014 at 8:37 am
ashmg
1
08/08/2014
ashmg

ashmg

  • 1
  • 3
  • 22
1
Followers
5
Following

ashmg

 Oh my health issues are not just from this or even just from wedding planning....life has been a rather large sh*t sandwich lately! lol

 

They DID book a venue for that weekend and go through all that, and then a few weeks later found out the guy will be starting a new job that same month and can't risk not being able to go on a honeymoon so they've now changed it! Ugh! Good Lord! At least that part of the wedding stress if fixed right now!

 

Thanks everyone for the advice!  I kinda just ignored it for a while (and everything wedding related) and it kinda worked out even better than I could have thought!

Posted on March 21, 2014 at 10:16 pm
Canooknic
5
07/19/2013
Canooknic

Canooknic

  • 5
  • 18
  • 5.69k
202
Followers
196
Following

Canooknic

 So so so pleased its all sorted itself out!!!! That's great news xx

Posted on March 21, 2014 at 10:21 pm
Linnn
2
09/14/2014
Linnn

Linnn

  • 2
  • 4
  • 229
6
Followers
11
Following

Linnn

great! b/c i was gonna say GO ON YOUR HONEYMOON!!! THEY WILL BE OK.

Posted on March 21, 2014 at 11:18 pm
Uhlease
5
09/02/2012
Uhlease

Uhlease

  • 5
  • 18
  • 9.86k
334
Followers
315
Following

Uhlease

 Wow, so glad it worked out! Sometimes its best to ignore it!! lol. Hope life is looking up for yu guys!!

Posted on March 22, 2014 at 10:30 am
KimandByron
3
04/25/2015
KimandByron

KimandByron

  • 3
  • 14
  • 1.61k
51
Followers
52
Following

KimandByron

So sorry things have been stressful. Im glad to see someof it has worked itself out. Its difficult when people walk all over you. Take a deep breath and take care of yourself.
Posted on March 22, 2014 at 11:51 am

Have a question? Contact Support
Top Contributors this Week
Miss_M_to_Mrs_W
28 posts
Kuppy13
26 posts
NicholeB
25 posts
Melo819
21 posts
Uhlease
19 posts
Canooknic
17 posts