Megan's Birth Story
The day I went into labour felt like any other day: DH, my mom and I went to the mall in the afternoon; it was a lot of walking -more than I'd been used to. I was so uncomfortable and definitely done with being pregnant. It was the 11th, the day before my due date. My mom was out doing an errand so DH dtd to see if we could help the labour process along.
A few hours later, at around 9pm, I started feeling cramps in my stomach. I wasn't positive they were contractions though they didn't feel like the pains I had been feeling up to then. I started feeling them about 20 ish minutes apart -very sporadic. My mom went to bed around 11pm and it was around then that they were suddenly 10 minutes apart. My Dr had told me not to come to the hospital until contractions were every 5 minutes. At about 1am on my due date the pain had gotten a lot worse and they were a lot closer together. DH told me that if I felt one more 5 minutes later we were going to the hospital. Sure enough, I felt another exactly 5 minutes afterward. We drove to the hospital (luckily a few minute drive) and checked in. The nurse hooked me up to a monitor to see if it was contractions that I was feeling and if they were close enough together to stay at the hospital. I was afraid I was imagining the pain and that they were just Braxton Hicks.
It turns out I was already 5cm dilated -the nurse said we came at the perfect time. Whew! I was relieved I wasn't crazy but nervous and anxious at the same time as reality set in: I was having a baby! I let them know that I want an epidural as soon as possible. Time went on and soon after I was in a LOT of pain -the nurse would come in every once in awhile and tell me that I going to get the epidural "soon." I now hate that word because "soon" turned out 3 hours later! Once I got the epidural (after they moved me to the delivery room) I felt so much better. I expected to be completely numb from the waist down but was glad I could (somewhat) feel my legs.
A doctor came in then and told me that my Dr wasn't feeling well so she wasn't going to be there. I was a little disappointed but I knew that I was in good hands so it didn't bother me too much. I wasn't checked too often at that point, but when I was the doctor looked shocked and said I was 8cm dilated! I had gone from 5cm to 8cm just like that! A couple of hours later a different nurse came in and checked me and said I was 5cm. What!? I guess the Dr checked me while I was contracting and it felt like more (?) I don't know -but I was a little devastated. They put me on Pitocin and progress seemed to take forever from this point forward.
FINALLY, around 5pm they emptied my bladder and suddenly baby's head was right there and they told me I could start pushing. I pushed for about 30 mins. but her head wasn't coming out so they told me to take a break and try again in a little bit. 30 mins. later I was ready to push again but I changed positions (to my side) and after 20mins. of pushing she came out. I was expecting the whole "here's her head -and her shoulder, her other shoulder, etc... but no she came out all at once! It was all a whirlwind and suddenly, someone placed something on my chest and I met my baby girl for the first time.
As much as I wish I could say those first moments with my daughter were so precious (and of course they were) but I tore in a couple of places during labour so a nurse and resident Dr were stitching me up while I cradled her for the first time. I now realize that they had to since I was losing a lot of blood but at the time it hurt so much I was having conflicting feelings: So happy Megan was here and in a lot of pain at the same time. A couple of hours later we were moved to a post delivery room and were disappointed that it was a semi-private room though we had requested a private room. It was awkward since it only had one bathroom so we had to share with complete strangers.
I started breasfteeding right after Megan was born and right away (as much as I hate to say it) I knew it wasn't for me. This was so hard since everywhere I turned I was faced with nurses and Dr.s that told me I should be breastfeeding. She had a hard time latching and sucking and the result was extremely sore, bruised, bleeding and cracked nipples :( I went to a breastfeeding class and saw a lactation consultant while we were still at the hospital but in my heart I knew I wasn't going to stick to breastfeeding. We even had to stay one more night because of the difficulties I was having. At least we were switched to a private room but every time I had to nurse we had to call the nurse to come help us -and then she would come in, tug and squeeze my boob until milk came out, grab Megan and shove her mouth to my nipple :( it was an awful feeling. I knew she needed to eat -and needed the nutrition but it was making me feel horrible -not to mention the physical pain I was in every time it was time to nurse.
We left the hospital two days after Megan was born and I was in so much pain -from the stitches and breastfeeding but I was relieved I was going to be able to sleep and rest in my own bed. The next day while in tears over having to nurse my mom looked at me and told me to make up a bottle of formula. The guilt that I felt for giving up so soon made me feel like a bit of a failure as a mom :( I was sleep deprived and emotional and I felt miserable over the decision. After I gave her a bottle I felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. The guilt came back after Megan's first Dr.'s appt when I was asked her breastfeeding was going and when I told them I switched to bottle feeding I was definitely given a lecture from a resident Dr on the benefits of breastfeeding -my feelings weren't really taken into consideration. My Dr then came in and I was terrified I was going to have it from her as well -but she was beyond understanding and told me that a happy mom makes a happy and healthy baby. I was so relieved :)
So that's been our journey so far -even though I'm still really sore from my stitches, we're doing well -trying to establish a routine and adapting and enjoying this new adventure :)
Allow me to introduce Megan Edith Emmott, born July 12, 2012 at 6:16pm weighing in at 8lbs 10oz and measuring 20 1/2 inches long: