My BF Reality

When Blake was born and they put him on my chest, the little man made his dad proud by basically going right for my boobs so I stupidly thought this breast feeding thing was going to be a piece of cake........haha oh how wrong I was.


Like I said in my birth story, my day nurse was of no help in any manner and she certainly didnt keep track of whether my nursing was going well or not. 


Well when we finally got home, Blake was a nightmare to nurse.  He would latch on for like 3 seconds and then let go and then he'd just cry, well scream basically.  I had many nights of crying myself thinking oh my god, I can't even take care of my own son because he's so upset and frustrated.


Well I finally got my electric pump and found out what my be part of the reason, when I pump every 2 hours, I only get around an ounce of milk.  Turns out not only was Blake a lazy eater, (Blake actually refuses my nipple now, if I even try to nurse him I have to use a nipple guard for him to even attempt to latch on) he wasn't getting enough to begin with.  So now I pump all day long to just get a 5 oz bottle of milk that I feed him at night and then he gets formula all day long.


My moral.........this shit is hard.......you will cry because you feel like you can't feed your own child.....as much as I would love to BF him every time he eats, it's not practical in our situation, I dont want to starve him just to "prove a point."  So I pump every 2 hours (as close as I can, sometimes it's not possible) to get enough to feed him one bottle.  He eats almost 3 ozs at every feeding, in the middle of the night I have to use my manual pump to give him some "fresh squeezed" because he'll run out of milk before he gets up in the morning. 


I've had a really hard time dealing with the fact that I've had to use formula but luckily DH knows I've tried my hardest to BF him (I'm actually tearing up now just typing it, it's been hard.......holy shit no one warns you about the emotions haha.  I am a million times more hormonal now than I ever was pregnant.) and my entire family has been sympathetic and supportive.


So if you have a hard time, hang in there.  I tried for 3 days with Blake and him screaming all night long.  That first night I gave him formula before bed, he slept 5 hours that night, it's like he was finally full and just exhausted from being fussy.

Posted on May 1, 2013 at 3:49 am
AuntTate
4
09/10/2011
AuntTate

AuntTate

  • 4
  • 14
  • 2.09k
70
Followers
74
Following

(8) Comments

_MNM
5
10/01/2010

_MNM

Comment has been removed by Project Wedding due to a violation of our Terms of Use
Posted on May 1, 2013 at 4:16 am
haleighb
4
09/25/2011
haleighb

haleighb

  • 4
  • 12
  • 2.1k
301
Followers
305
Following

haleighb

murph said it best!  why do our bodies have to be such a-holes sometimes?  don't they know they're supposed to make this as easy as possible, especially if it's throwing in crazy hormones on top of it?!  not fair, body!  i hope that with time, relaxation and practice, your totts will wake up and kick it into gear.  in the meantime you've got the right idea with positive thinking and your support system. 

Posted on May 1, 2013 at 6:37 am
milkgal
5
09/20/2010
milkgal

milkgal

  • 5
  • 19
  • 8.96k
505
Followers
507
Following

milkgal

Oh How I fee you, sister! Breastfeeding is supposed to be this natural thing but it is so darn hard! My first night home I couldn't get LO to latch and I had to feed her by self expressing into a spoon and then sucking it up with a syringe that DH would feed her. It took over 2 hours... 


I'm glad you've found a balance that works for your family! Happy mommy=happy baby. I'm not sure if you're still trying to increase your supply but I have heard oatmeal and Gatorade have done wonders for some mommas. 

Posted on May 1, 2013 at 7:58 am
futuremrsgamboa
3
11/05/2011
futuremrsgamboa

futuremrsgamboa

  • 3
  • 10
  • 1.43k
56
Followers
59
Following

futuremrsgamboa

Aw I'm sorry you're having trouble! I hope that it gets easier for you, but if it doesn't improve, just remember that formula is prefectly ok if it's making you and your LO happy. Keep up the positive thinking and good luck!

Posted on May 1, 2013 at 10:28 am
Claire27
4
06/19/2010
Claire27

Claire27

  • 4
  • 15
  • 4.99k
97
Followers
101
Following

Claire27

*HUGS* I don't have anything to add to this!  Thank you for sharing though, I'm sure it will help a lot of other new mamas!

Posted on May 1, 2013 at 2:20 pm
kristinkay
5
04/05/2009
kristinkay

kristinkay

  • 5
  • 18
  • 9.28k
136
Followers
139
Following

kristinkay

If you are still interested in trying to up your supply you can try an SNS system - they are supposed to be a really great way to stimulate your supply while still doing supplementation. I also had great success with Motherlove More Milk Plus - every time I took it I can honestly say that I could tell the difference by the next morning... sometimes to the point where I would have to pump excess. Good luck! Breastfeeding is hard hard work!!

Posted on May 2, 2013 at 10:28 am
pavez19
4
07/14/2012
pavez19

pavez19

  • 4
  • 15
  • 2.26k
153
Followers
155
Following

pavez19

Big big hugs Taryne. As Claire said, I'm glad you share this with us. I'm not sure yet if I'll try breastfeeding or not and I already feel guilty that I may not so I can definitly understand how you must feel knowing you were so eager to BF. Just keep in mind that what will matter the most for Blake is the love you're giving him and BF or not, I'm sure you're doing this PERFECTLY!

Posted on May 3, 2013 at 6:59 am
msdl
15
05/28/2011
msdl

msdl

  • 15
  • 20
  • 16.3k
499
Followers
498
Following

msdl

So glad you posted this, Taryne. I have consistently heard from all my mama friends who have tried BFing - successfully and unsuccessfully - that it is HARD. I'm always glad to hear these stories just so I can be prepared for anything. Hang in there!! Whatever you decide works best for you and Blake will be perfectly fine. (((Hugs)))
Posted on May 3, 2013 at 8:09 am

Have a question? Contact Support
Top Contributors this Week
NicholeB
31 posts
Canooknic
22 posts
krosa
18 posts
Linnn
17 posts
AshandTrev
15 posts
Levisjoe
13 posts