My drunk uncle ... kinda long, need advice
So I guess everyone has one of those right?! My uncle and my dad have not spoken to each other for over 10 years over a bulls*** family dispute. All of my aunts have tried to make them rekindle their relationship several time to no avail. Even after my dad had a heart attack and had to have open heart surgery, they still didn't speak to each other. Well, pigs must have gotten wings, b/c this past weekend was my bridal shower and my aunt decided to try again and was successful. My uncle came over to my dad's house and they made amends. Which, in turn, made my dad invite him to my wedding. Although I'm happy that they have put the past behind, I'm a little concerned. My uncle has been an alcoholic since I was a little girl. I can't even count the # of times he's been arrested for DUI, spent time in jail, gotten his license revoked, etc.
I attended my aunts b-day approximately 6 months ago and he was there ... drunk. FI was sick, so I just went w/my son and this was the first time he ever met my son. FI is Creole and I'm Latina and my son is more my skin tone, so if you see me w/him alone, you won't necessarily know that he's mixed unless you see his father. So I told him that I was getting married and he asked me if it was w/my son's father. When I said yes, he said, "Well, thank God you're not going to marry a black man," assuming that my son's father was Latino also. I got upset and was about to let him have it, but one of my aunts came to his rescue and changed the subject. My aunt pulled me to the side later and said that my uncle didn't know what he was saying, etc. Needless to say, I was a little relieved that he didn't get along w/my dad when I was getting my guest list together.
That being said, I'm torn about even inviting him to my wedding, since I am marrying a "black man" and I don't want him to voice his racist a** opinion at my wedding. My aunt says that she doesn't think he's a racist b/c we are Latino and have darker skin and that he was just drunk, but IMO you're true colors come out when you're drunk and darker skin or not, FI is still a different race than me. Then she said that he wouldn't dare say anything about FI if he was sober ... but when the hell is that!!! I'm concerned that I'm going to have to babysit him and make sure that none of FI's family gets offended.
This is supposed to be a happy occassion turning sour. What should I do?