My Parents Are Not Coming

Well, my mother told me about a week ago that they are not coming to the vow renewal.


She said that the hotels are just too expensive in Palm Springs. But here is the thing, my parents make BANK!!!! They can easily afford it. They just don't want to pay. Plus I have a cousin that works for the Hilton and she can get a huge discount. My mother said she doesn't want to abuse her discount. WTF??? This is for your daughter's wedding. My cousin would not mind at all.


Here is the thing, DH and I eloped the first time around. They were never happy about that. Now that we are doing a vow renewal, they believe it is just a waste of time and money and not worth coming to.


I had my heart set on my father walking me down the aisle.


I guess whether it is a wedding or a vow renewal, it brings out the worst in family.


When she told me, i kept my composure. I just said "ok". After we left, I broke down in the car. I was devistated.


I am still hurt, but I figure there is nothing I can do to change their minds about this. And I refuse to beg and plead.

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:18 am
TheChicBride
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(37) Comments

Niecy
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09/06/2006
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I am so sorry your dealing with this .... what about talking to your dad ?

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:19 am
GoingtobeGoff
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05/14/2009
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ohhhh, i'm so sorry to hear that.. that's too bad.. that's soo dumb that they'd hold a "grudge" or whatever, from you eloping.. ug.  *hug to you*

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:19 am
soon2Bmrsjaramillo
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06/27/2009
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(((hugs))) i'm sorry hun.

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:20 am
jescobar
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10/24/2009
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OMG, I am so sorry. I have no words. I do hope that they change their minds. Maybe you can talk one on one with your father?

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:21 am
TheChicBride
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A coup,e of you mentioned my dad. Well, here is the thing, my dad is strong minded, but when it comes to these things i.e. wedding, birthday parties, etc, he lets my mom make the decisions.


Also, he was there when my mom said they were not coming. he never said a word.

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:22 am
Sarahinwonderland
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10/17/2009
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How sad. I guess they are just reacting to their pain from the elopement. I hope they come around :(

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:22 am
Clarrissa
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05/23/2009
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I'm so sorry Chic. My husbands father is not attending out validation either my husband was devistated He told them the he was very disappointed at them and left it alone. I hear you I wanted to take pictures with my new father inlaw in my dress. But who knows maybe he'll change his mind we still have 4mths and 14 days. I really know how you feel.:(

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:26 am
TheChicBride
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I am so sorry Clarrissa. It is sad. :0(

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:29 am
soon2bmadison
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09/06/2009
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Im so sorry....just hope for the best!! I'll keep you in my prayers too and hope they change their minds! 

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:29 am
MissQnomore
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that's bunk!!!  i wonder what the real reason is.  are they holding a grudge?  so sorry hun =(


****HUGS****

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:30 am
DesertRain
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I'd be devastated as well. DH & I eloped the first time around to and our "vow renewal"  *is* our wedding. We are not doing anything differently then as if we weren't married except not have to get a marriage license again. I can totally empathize with you and hope that your parents will come around before the wedding. Perhaps there are some financial issues that they are not telling you about either? IDK, just guessing out loud. If your mom is using the money as an excuse, why don't you offer her to pay for their accomodations and see what she has to say then. I'm sorry you're going through this ((((hugs))))

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:30 am
Coralwed13
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isnt this a real wedding wedding though...by the looks of your profile your having a reception and everything..not just renewing your vows

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:31 am
TheChicBride
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Unfortunately, they won't change their minds. I even told my mom "well, I guess we will just have to send you pictures."


She just nodded her head like ok, that's fine.

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:31 am
DesertRain
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Is this typical of them?


Did you sense anything was bothering them from the time of the elopement until now?

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:33 am
Soon2beMrs.Lee
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05/23/2009
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I am so sorry to hear that, maybe they'll change their mind. They just felt left out the first time, maybe your DH can tell them that it would mean alot to you.

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:33 am
genae
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So sorry to hear that, my dad isnt coming because he hates my mother. Who knows he migh tchange his mind. But the show must go on...

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:34 am
TheChicBride
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The whole thing is that they are holding a grudge pure and simple.


DesertRain....We eloped in 2002 and when they found out, they were shocked of course. They didn't really say much, but as time went on, I could tell it pissed them off.


They have know we have been planning the vow renewal for awhile. So this is nothing new, but now as time is getting closer, they have decided they want no part of it.


Like I said, I am very hurt, but if they want to be bastards, then so be it.


 

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:36 am
alisonandjake
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03/21/2009
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I am so sorry to hear this....that is a shame...although it is really tough on you...IT IS THEIR LOSS!! They are the ones who won't have memories of your day.

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:36 am
nidia112
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05/01/2009
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Aww Chic, so sorry to hear that.  That's just terrible. I couldn't imagine my parents telling me they weren't coming to our DW wedding just because they won't be at our civil ceremony in front of the JOP.  I'm with DesertRain though, pay for their room with your cousin's discount and that way they have no reason not to go. 

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 6:37 am
married2mrwright
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I am sorry, that sucks royally.  None of DH's family attended our wedding or AHR.  He took it like a champ (par for the course for him), but I was really bummed.  At least we can CHOOSE one family member...our spouse!  Thank God!

Posted on January 8, 2009 at 11:11 am
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