My story of adoption (a bit long...sorry)

Well, I guess I'll start at the beginning.  My mom was in her senior year of high school when she became pregnant with me; she married my dad, who was about 2 years older than her and a high school dropout, three and a half months before I was born.  She graduated from high school literally the day before she went into labor with me.  They decided to keep me, and though both of them loved me, my dad had some serious self-esteem issues, and he couldn't be an adequate father.  So my mom divorced him, and a few years later, she met, dated, and married my stepdad.  My stepdad was an insanely controlling man, and he didn't want my father to be around at all (I'm sure he thought that my dad was going to steal her away from him), so they went to court, got sole custody of me, and I was legally adopted by him.  So my birth certificate now reads my stepdad's name as my father.


When I was a sophomore in high school, amidst my stepdad and my mom going through a divorce, I was told that my dad had died.  I wasn't told when or how, but at the time, I really didn't care, because I thought that he had essentially abandoned me (the last time I had heard him was when he called me and wished me a happy birthday when I turned 8, right before we moved from Texas to Nevada).  There was stuff that was going on at the time that I had no earthly clue about until much later.


Well, my stepdad and mom decided to try to stay together to work things out, we moved to Texas, and I finished up high school at the same one my mom graduated from.  A few days after my graduation, they decided to tell me that my dad had died due to complications with early onset Alzheimer's; the disease is very prevalent on his side of the family (his grandmother, dad, he, and his two brothers, all had it and most died pretty young, my dad dying at the age of 33).  I was told that I do carry the gene, and it's something to where if I do have biological children, that gene will be passed on to my children.  I have no idea of I will only be a carrier or if I will actually get the disease.  It's just a bit of a wait and see game.  So at the age of 18, I made the decision that if I ever got married and wanted to have kids, I would adopt.


My stepdad and mom divorced that summer, and after getting out of my stepdad's house, my grandmother shared with me things that I never knew about my dad:  the low self-esteem, the threats my stepdad made toward him, more details on the early onset Alzheimer's, and the fact that shortly before he died, he wanted to see me.  However, my mom and my grandmother were afraid that his mom would try to kidnap me, so they never mentioned anything until two years after his death.  


DH knows this entire story, and I made sure to tell him before he ever proposed.  I know in some ways he was disappointed that he wouldn't be able to biologically father children, but he definitely wants to adopt eventually, which is just fantastic.  And I'm looking forward to it, because we all know that there are so many kids out there in need of good homes.

Posted on July 14, 2012 at 12:09 pm
chrissyrenaegray
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03/10/2012
chrissyrenaegray

chrissyrenaegray

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kplusd
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09/08/2012
kplusd

kplusd

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kplusd

wow!! thats so selfless of you to acknowledge your gene and want to adopt. so many people let things like that go through one ear and out the other, which is a terrible way to start a childs life! good for you and your DH, and my T&Ps go out to you when you begin the beautiful journey of adoption!! i have two young cousins who were adopted from china, and they are the smartest and most beautiful little girls ever! if i am ever finanically able to, apotion is one of my biggest wishes in life!

Posted on July 14, 2012 at 1:30 pm
kplusd
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09/08/2012
kplusd

kplusd

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kplusd

wow!! thats so selfless of you to acknowledge your gene and want to adopt. so many people let things like that go through one ear and out the other, which is a terrible way to start a childs life! good for you and your DH, and my T&Ps go out to you when you begin the beautiful journey of adoption!! i have two young cousins who were adopted from china, and they are the smartest and most beautiful little girls ever! if i am ever finanically able to, apotion is one of my biggest wishes in life!

Posted on July 14, 2012 at 1:30 pm

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