Need advise for meeting with the Catholic Priest

Hi Ladies,

So this is my 1st forum & I need some help/advice. Today I'm meeting with my oriest for the first time regarding the wedding ceremony. I have NO idea what I'm supposed to ask him, or what information I'm supposed to get from him. Any advise??

Thanks, Melissa
Posted on April 21, 2008 at 9:53 am
HeLovesMe
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prbetsi75
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I'm sure he'll have some questions for you!

I know that some churches have rules about bridal gowns - like no strapless unless you have a shawl or jacket, so maybe that's something you can ask him. Also, some also don't allow you to throw rice or rose petals after the ceremony, so you can ask about that too! Basically, find out what their rules and regulations are!
Posted on April 21, 2008 at 10:06 am
WMforever
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make sure to ask if its ok for your photographer to get near you guys during the ceremony etc. or to at least get one shot from the Priests viewpoint (if thats what you want). Also ask for rules. Yep and ask about flower petals or rice or bubbles like prebtsi said. Ask what kind of music they provide during the ceremony (like do you have options and if it costs extra). Maybe you'll want the choir to sing instead of the organist, etc. Ask about the brides room (so you can hide before the ceremony). Chances are he will answer these questions before you even ask!
Posted on April 21, 2008 at 10:13 am
HeLovesMe
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Thanks ladies, Do you know about them telling you about going to classes or re-treats?? Do you think if he'll ask if we live together & do the hanky Panky?? haha Sorry I'm alittle nervous so gotta make a joke. I'm hoping that he'll let me secure the date without my FI being there. What do u think??
Posted on April 21, 2008 at 10:21 am
WMforever
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well, i think it depends on the church. my church where i'd like to get married at said that we have to take the classes first and then pick a date. so i'm taking the classes now. so far, no ones asked us about living together or doing the "forbidden dance" LOL. But its the year 2008, i think they'll be ok with you living together. They'll probably lecture you on why the church doesn't agree with it, but they'll be nice because hello, you're getting married!
Posted on April 21, 2008 at 10:27 am
HeLovesMe
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OH man we have to take classes before the date can be set. I want a date already so I can book the venue that I want. I want to get married April 20009, I need to get rollin' I guess I'll find out what he says today. Thanks for all the help.
Posted on April 21, 2008 at 10:41 am
d1rtymart1n1
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more important than rose petals and type of dress, ask ask ask him about pre-cana classes (i'm assuming you're getting married in a Catholic church)...

also, if you're fh is divorced, he will have to get that first marriage annulled by the church, even tho legally it's dissolved.

the retreats are a weekend and men and women do not sleep in the same "bunks" so for one weekend you wont get to snuggle...

the coordinator (usually works in the rectory) will have all the other info for you as far as acceptable music, throwing rice, "real" petals, etc) she should also have the info regarding donations to the church and she probbaly keeps the calendar of events
Posted on April 21, 2008 at 10:49 am
WMforever
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your Priest may be different. He may let you pick a date and enroll you in the classes (called Pre-Cana). Or that church may not make you take the classes but go on a retreat instead. Good luck!
Posted on April 21, 2008 at 10:53 am
HeLovesMe
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Thank you , but what is Pre-cana?? I just got into the Catholic church like in march. hahah so I dont know the lingo.

What no snuggling? BUMMER..lol I guess I'll find out.

Thanks again for all your HELP ladies
Posted on April 21, 2008 at 11:00 am
d1rtymart1n1
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Pre-cana is the series of classes each couple must take before getting married in a Catholic Church...

http://www.ehow.com/how_2196999_participate-premarital-counseling-catholic-church.html

http://www.diogh.org/youngacm/marriage_prep.htm
Posted on April 21, 2008 at 11:16 am
hulaprncs18
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08/08/2009
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yes melissa, you have to attend a precana class (marriage class).. i heard its like once a week for X amount of weeks. however, FI and I are taking it in one day from 845am-5pm (AHHHH!!) and then in May we're doing our Engagement Encounter, thats the weekend retreat... fun!! but bummed out that i can't sleep with FI.

also, as far as those questions, im sure he'll break it down for you first... there's sometimes a fee, he'll talk about the class/retreat. he'll ask that you bring a baptismal/first communion/confirmation certificate from the both of you... you can ask about the ceremony times... ask about floral arrangements in the church, what photographers are allowed and not allowed to do... im sure you'll have a lot as you talk to him...

g/l!! happy planning!!

what church are you hoping to marry at? just curious... =)
Posted on April 21, 2008 at 11:37 am
Ms.Sumomo
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06/24/2007
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Hi! Congrats!

It depends on your church. At our church we were able to pick the date during our first meeting. We also had to attend a marriage prep class. They didn't require the weekend retreat. We did a whole day one but we also had to go through 6 months counseling with the church...of course we had to fulfill the other requirements (fees, birth certificate, confirmation and etc...

good luck!
Posted on April 21, 2008 at 11:54 am
OCBride678
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We got an information packet from the church admin office that answered many of the dos/don'ts and outlines the church fees. Our first meeting was casual...gathered a lot of information about marriage/wedding (I'm not Catholic). He asked some questions about my beliefs and background. We were able to set a date with the priest prior to taking the marriage prep class. We took a 6:30-9:30 pm on a Thursday for four weeks. We don't have to take the Engagement Encounter- he said that is recommended for more newlyweds.

You can ask the priest about the timeline on what information he needs. The priest needed FI baptism & birth certificates...that took us some time to dig around for. We both need to go back with our parents to sign some paperwork or certificate for their consent to get marry (I'm not sure what this paper is called). Consent is probably the wrong word choice too. The second time we met the priest, we worked on a "compatibility" test and went over the results at the third meeting. He said the test was to generate conversation.

Our priest is pretty modern...he even told us about another couple is was counseling that was prego and getting married. He joked and said he'll do perform both the wedding and baby's baptism! So, I don't think you have anything to worry about. HTH and good luck!
Posted on April 21, 2008 at 3:09 pm
HeLovesMe
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Thank you for all ur responses. They are helping out alot.

So I am pretty BUMMED OUT, I went to meet with our priest yesterday & he said of course that 1st he needs both our Cert.?s (Bap/1st Commun/Confirm) and then he told me that We cant get a date becuz the Book for 2009 doesn?t come out until the 1st week of JULY... I was so SAD, I was hoping we could get a date sooner then that cuz we found the venue we want to have. I'm praying that they won?t have our date booked for April 2009... He didn?t give me anymore information cuz he said he'll give it to me the next time one of us goes in.

Hula we want to get married at St. Louis of France in La Puente,CA. The priest is a cool guy & he does things very fast, so I have no idea whats in store for us.

I just wish I didnt have to wait until JULY...
Posted on April 22, 2008 at 5:59 am
d1rtymart1n1
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dont worry! july will be here in a blink on an eye!! it's almost may sister!

now just focus on something else, like maybe your dress or asking your venue for their menu?? something that doesnt involve "the date"

maybe start thinkin about style of invitations or look into what flowers are in season for your decor and bouquets??

it's all so exciting, no??
Posted on April 22, 2008 at 6:03 am
mt51
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I'm sorry about the church not booking until July. Maybe you can look at other venues in case your 1st choice is not available? Maybe you'll find something even better. =) Our 1st meeting with the priest went well. He asked us where we were from, how we met, what our living arrangements were, what we do for a living, etc. He also went over the fees and the rules (no rice/petals, no photographer on the altar, etc.) of the church. He's pretty laid back.

He said that we have to attend an engagement retreat but he didn't mention anything about marriage prep classes. We will resume our meetings late this year. I have to remind myself to ask him about precana.
Posted on April 22, 2008 at 6:05 am
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Your right d1rty, I need to re-focus..lol I just really wanted to book the venue so I can get in the flow of things. I'm still looking for BM dresses, & the flowers, I think I have an idea of what I want, I just think one of my BM's is going to be difficult. The photographer is going to be hard. Oh, Do you guys know how much a limo runs?

Thanks again for all the help ladies
Posted on April 22, 2008 at 9:15 am
d1rtymart1n1
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look at it this way - the church's "book" isnt open only to you - it isnt open to all the brides for 2009 yet! you have just as good a chance of getting your date as anyone else, kwim?? ;)

if you're interested - we're using kristi klemens and her fiance paul bennett for our photog and videog - they're out of newport beach

www.klkphotography.com

tell them maria and nolan sent you!

=========================

another issue i ran into with the church-venue thing was if one was open, the other was booked - so i had to OPEN my mind and look at other equally fabulous venues
=========================

how much of a drive from la puente are you guys willing to make if your venue is booked when the church isnt for an alternate venue?
=========================

and guuurrrl - there's always one BM who is going to be so so so such a PITA!!! but in my case, she's always been a PITA! i finally asked her not to be my moh b/c of all her issues! sorry for the vent! ;)
=========================

limos: we called norman lewis limos

depending on your date (april right??) it may be good once you nail down the church and venue to book transportation b/c of proms and other weddings.
Posted on April 22, 2008 at 9:31 am
HeLovesMe
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Thanks D1rty, putting me in my place huh girl..lol JK

I'm gunna check out that photog & limo company, thanks for the referral.

As for the date I agree with you & I am kinda open or either changing the date & we do have 2 other locations that we liked lined up, so we do have options. So far we're looked at sites as for as 15 miles.

And NP, vent all you want, I have open ears/eyes..lol I'm gunna have a talk w/my MOH cuz I'm gunna need the help & support once things do start to flow & I'll have to remind her its MY WEDDING & I'm gunna get the dresses & stuff I LIKE not what she likes. And I've asked her to go to 2 bridal expo's with me & you can guess what her answer was??? (Sorry venting too)
Posted on April 22, 2008 at 9:50 am
d1rtymart1n1
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HIJACK AND VENT:

my cousin (and former moh) was completely b!tchy and didnt even want to be in my wedding and she's always been such a PITA! and i mean that in the nicest way possible! but really every little detail she would be like "uh, why are you doing THAT?" one day she said "I hope i dont have to follow you around always making sure your train is ok and your bustle is ok" hello wierdo!! anyone who knows me knows that once the pics are done and the ceremony is over i wont care about my dress - it's just a dress!

after i told her she and all the other BMs could just buy any black dress as their BM dress as long as it was from jim hjelm, she was like "Oh, well, i'm just going to have mine made by my husband's tailor in the philippines" huh??? the freakin philippines??

me: WWWHHAATTTT?? uh yeah NOT!!!

so after that it was just a big old catfight - old family sh!t came out; she's always hated me b/c i'm spoiled blah blah blah... after that i was pretty cool on her - she doesnt have to be in a wedding that she doesnt want to be a part of kwim??

uh ok - no problem you can be a guest at my wedding and not have to worry about standing up for me... beeeyatch!! oh and i mean that in the nicest possible way ;)
Posted on April 22, 2008 at 10:05 am

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