No Bridesmaid duty for me

So I posted a while back about my future sister in law's wedding:


http://www.projectwedding.com/post/list/is-it-ok-to-be-upset


The general response was that I should get over it and shouldn't expect to be a part of her wedding. that just because I asked her to be in mine she's not obligated to ask me to be in hers.  But that's not why I want to be in her wedding.  I want to be involved because she is my fiance's ONLY sister.  I will become her ONLY sister.  I just don't understand.


But I'm still upset about.  Months later she and I have gotten super close.  My dad is going to cater their reception, she wants me to help her plan, and she's super excited about getting me as a sister and I'm excited too!


So get this!  this weekend her Fiance asked my Fiance to be a groomsman!!!!!  So her brother (my fiance) gets to be in the wedding. Now I feel completely left out!


does anybody understand where I'm coming from? I mean I LOVE weddings, I love being apart of someones most important day and I would be so honored to a party of my sister in law's wedding.  But I guess I won't.  Only my fiance....


*sigh* I'm super emotional right now due to the coming arrival of Aunt Flo and MY WEDDING in 2 weeks...

Posted on November 2, 2009 at 8:48 am
FutureMrs.Upshaw
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FutureMrs.Upshaw

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(5) Comments

MountainBride
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MountainBride

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Oh no Future :(


I'm sorry you're upset about that - your own wedding probably doesn't help the emotional part of this!  


Think of it this way: I'm willing to bet she will LOVE hanging out with you and having your help planning her wedding. . .your enthusiasm and knowledge will be appreciated.  And if you aren't a BM, you get to do all of the above and NOT have to buy a dress you'll never wear again :)


You can still help her plan and tie ribbons on stuff and shop for attire. . .I bet she will welcome it.  And maybe some point in there she will ask you to stand up as well. . .or after the fact she will tell you how much she appreciated having your support.


Just keep doing what you are doing!  **hugs**

Posted on November 2, 2009 at 9:04 am
misshammy
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06/12/2010
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I can definitely understand your pain :(


But, maybe she's afraid that it will tear you guys apart??  There has to be a reason...  Whether she just doesn't feel comfortable, or doesn't want to have uneven parties, etc.  Or maybe she hasn't asked anyone yet?! 


Don't take any offense to it...  My brother's girlfriend is not standing in my wedding but she is helping me with my flowers and aisle runner and she's super happy with just that :)  As I am too :)  I had a lot of drama with (ex) bridesmaids early on that I really didn't want to fuss with adding another.. KWIM?  Maybe she had a similar experience??


Just try to be there for her no matter what... Act as a bridesmaid without being one because you WANT to... Because you don't need that "title" slapped across your forehead... You said you love being apart of someone's big day... Well you still can without being a BM :)

Posted on November 2, 2009 at 9:06 am
FutureMrs.Upshaw
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11/14/2009
FutureMrs.Upshaw

FutureMrs.Upshaw

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Update!!


My Sister-in-Law asked me to be a Bridesmaids last night!! I can not tell you how excited I am!  She said that she wanted to wait until after our wedding to ask me.  She didn't want to steal our thunder.  Which is really sweet, but I was so upset that I wasn't a part of her wedding.  But now I am! No more venting for me!

Posted on November 27, 2009 at 7:09 am
Niecy
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Glad it all worked out!

Posted on November 27, 2009 at 7:46 am
DreaminBride
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05/23/2010
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yay!!!

Posted on November 28, 2009 at 4:26 am

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