No gifts - wording advice please

We don't want gifts, but I'm struggling to find the right words for the invitations.  I had "No gifts please.  Simply your presence."  The printer suggested "No gifts please. We want your presence, not your presents." I think it sounds a bit bossy though.  What do you think?  I'd love some suggestions.

Posted on January 17, 2011 at 5:22 pm
PWUser1111
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(18) Comments

DreamingOfYou
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12/31/2011
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We'd love your well wishes
And congratulations too, 
No gifts are necessary
We just would like to see you!


Posted on January 17, 2011 at 5:26 pm
olga21
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Ohh I like the one Dreaming posted :) it is cute and lighthearted
Posted on January 17, 2011 at 7:01 pm
missjojo
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Ditto Dreamingofyou... Thats cute!

Posted on January 17, 2011 at 7:04 pm
PWUser1111
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Whoops, I just Googled this and it seems that it's bad manners to mention gifts on a wedding invitation - at least according to Emily Post and Miss Manners!  What's the verdict among the modern wedding community?  Is it considered bad manners and am I better off trying to spread the word without writing it on the invitation? 

Posted on January 17, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Aroma
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I think it would be bad manners to demand presents. But I see no problem in telling people to NOT spend money on you...

Posted on January 17, 2011 at 9:25 pm
adamsapple
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Ditto dreamingofyou.


My friend wrote at the bottom of hers in small font "No boxed gifts please"

Posted on January 17, 2011 at 9:30 pm
LauraSweet
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Persephone, there are a lot of people even in modern day who consider it in poor taste to address anything about gift-giving on your invitations.  That said, over the time I've been on PW, it seems that we have discovered that this is mainly an American (and maybe Canadian as well) rule.  I see in your bio that your wedding location is Brisbane.  I would recommend researching etiquette specific to Australia, as these things widely vary around the world.  In the US/Canada, it's considered bad etiquette to request cash (for example), but some of our European brides have made it very clear that not only is it accepted, it's expected there.

Posted on January 18, 2011 at 12:18 am
mobride
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My daughter had a DW and did not want her guests to give gifts, so this is the wording that we used. We placed the wording on her itinerary card(included in a package mailed to all the guests who planned to attend the wedding) and also  on the RSVP cards.


Registered in your hearts and blessed by your presence. If you are unable to attend, please gift us with your prayers and good wishes on our union.


"Your presence is the most joyous gift we could ever hope for. We hope to see you in Jamaica, but if you're unable to attend, please send us your good wishes and warm thoughts. Love, Pete and Rochelle


Now, that being said, people still sent gifts/checks. Some of your friends and family will want to gift the bridal couple, no matter what!

Posted on January 18, 2011 at 12:36 am
hiddengrace
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I would just write "No gifts please. Your presence is present enough." or something like that. Those rules often contradict themselves and are totally old fashioned. Plus, as LauraSweet pointed out, there are many regional traditions and customs regarding this manner as well. The Miss. Manners way is to have you parents and BP spread the word, but if you don't want gifts, I doubt people have a problem with that. It's "acceptable" to write that you want to donate to charity, or that you don't want your gifts wrapped, but it's not acceptable to say that you don't want them at all? That's redonkulous.

Posted on January 18, 2011 at 12:55 am
Aroma
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Question: Why wouldn't you want gifts? I am just curious, you don't have to answer. I like presents - both ways: I liek to get and I like to give presents. :)

Posted on January 18, 2011 at 4:13 am
PWUser1111
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Why don't I want presents?  I don't dislike presents, that's for sure. I guess I feel that we have enough things and I don't want people to feel that they need to give us something.  I just want them to come along and celebrate with us, not feel beholden.  I hadn't thought of "I like to give" aspect though ... because I do too. That is an interesting point Aroma, thank you! You've made me think now.

Posted on January 18, 2011 at 8:22 am
TimilyL
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Before I had even set a date, people had already determined what they were giving us, or how much they were giving us, etc.  You don't need to have a registry or anything like that in order for people to give you gifts! 


So just be prepared for people to give you gifts, regardless.  I've seen wedding invitations/websites that said, "Gifts are not necessary," and then talked about cash (in a more articulate way), and it doesn't matter.  Their gift tables are always stacked miles high anyway.


I do personally like registries, because usually there is so much else involved in weddings that I don't even think about buying gifts.  I am an excellent wedding helper but a terrible gift giver (seriously, who forgets to shop!) so I just get something off of the couple's registry. 


Good luck!!

Posted on January 18, 2011 at 8:32 am
kalenalena
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Something as simple as "Please, no gifts. Your presence is present enough" seems like it would work well. I wouldn't worry too much about offending people by saying you'd rather have them there than a gift :) I always find that kind of touching.

Posted on January 18, 2011 at 8:52 am
melsmith56
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My husband and I didn't want gifts either.  We wrote: "In lieu of gifts, please consider a charitable contribution to either "All Faiths Receiving Home" or "Children's Grief Center." (these were our two favorite charities).

Posted on January 18, 2011 at 9:05 am
Diymomofbride
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I used to know a saying, Your presence is the only present we would like to have.

Posted on January 18, 2011 at 9:14 am
Whitaknee
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For our engagement party we put on the invitation "No gifts please. Your presence is the perfect present"


 


I this the "don't talk about gifts" thing is more about asking for them. I see no problem askign people NOT to bring them.

Posted on January 18, 2011 at 10:09 am
TrickyNik
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I'm all for the charitable donation option in lieu of gifts- people will always want to give, and this is a great alternative to three toasters and a bathroom mat.


P.S. I speak from experience. FI and I did not register for gifts, and it's been a nightmare, up to and including my showers, etc. People will always want to bring a gift, no matter what. *sigh*

Posted on January 18, 2011 at 11:05 am
Aroma
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Happy to help. :)))

Posted on January 20, 2011 at 9:27 pm

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