Out of Control Guest List

I've been stressing and trying to avoid my guest list.  We started off with a set number of 150 people.  Easy peasy.  Now my hardest decision... family that I havent talked to in YEARS.  I'm inviting some that I've talked to with in the last year or two, but I know it will turn out to be said, "Oh, she didnt invite so and so. Who does she think she is not to invite them."  Maybe its all in my head, but I need to cut my list drastically. (currently at 188)


My list, however does consist of every couple's children just in case they do bring them and family members that I know probably wont make it, but still have to count them. (just in case)


Torn on what to do.

Posted on March 14, 2013 at 10:37 am
mymy2463
1
11/02/2013
mymy2463

mymy2463

  • 1
  • 3
  • 33
7
Followers
12
Following

(12) Comments

Fearce
4
05/28/2019
Fearce

Fearce

  • 4
  • 14
  • 2.48k
213
Followers
211
Following

Fearce

Have you though about making the reception adults only? & honestly if you haven't talked to these relatives in years why invite them? The big day should be for the ones that share in your joy on a daily basis (:
Posted on March 14, 2013 at 10:49 am
mymy2463
1
11/02/2013
mymy2463

mymy2463

  • 1
  • 3
  • 33
7
Followers
12
Following

mymy2463

I have two kids myself so the adults only pollution is out. Thank you, that gave me more confidence to cut them lol. I just hate that families talk smack if they're not invited, but could care less any other day.
Posted on March 14, 2013 at 11:13 am
Fearce
4
05/28/2019
Fearce

Fearce

  • 4
  • 14
  • 2.48k
213
Followers
211
Following

Fearce

Giiiirl let me tell you.......let them talk! & when they do, ask them why haven't they been an active part in your life....let me know their responses (;
Posted on March 14, 2013 at 11:29 am
krosa
3
09/16/2012
krosa

krosa

  • 3
  • 23
  • 1.93k
222
Followers
279
Following

krosa

i wanted to keep my guest list down, so i didnt invite my aunts, uncles, or cousins.  if i had invited just my aunts uncles and first cousins that would have been 38 people.

Posted on March 14, 2013 at 3:17 pm
mymy2463
1
11/02/2013
mymy2463

mymy2463

  • 1
  • 3
  • 33
7
Followers
12
Following

mymy2463

Thats what I'm trying to do.  lol but can I invite my cousin that still lives at home and not invite his parents hahaha.

Posted on March 15, 2013 at 12:00 am
Sammy_D
4
09/10/2011
Sammy_D

Sammy_D

  • 4
  • 16
  • 4k
192
Followers
207
Following

Sammy_D

That was probably the hardest and most stressful part of planning for me. DH and I both have HUGE families, but there are definitely a lot of people we don't talk to, and in my case there were a LOT of extended aunts, uncles, cousins, etc on his side that I had never even met! But MIL insisted we invite them and I let her do it, since they were helping us. (They weren't helping us that much, but what do you do??)


Just make sure you are comfortable with everyone there and don't worry about what people will say or think. There will always be people who complain and that's not for you to worry about! If you are getting lots of help from parents, definitely let them invite some people but don't be afraid to put a limit on it. Make sure you are surrounded by the people who love you - and remember that even if you send out some extra invites to people you are on the fence about, not everyone will show up but at least you look good making the gesture. Just make sure that you invite a number that you could pay for, should they all accept - but that will NOT happen. Promise. RSVPs will be another headache for you, just warning you now. But I guarantee that not everyone will show up even if they say they will. Keep that in mind :) HTH!

Posted on March 15, 2013 at 2:07 am
Uhlease
5
09/02/2012
Uhlease

Uhlease

  • 5
  • 18
  • 9.89k
334
Followers
316
Following

Uhlease

I agree with the other ladies, hardest part by far!!


I have a big family too, so cutting was hard. In the end-just do it-if they talk, at least it won't last forever. People end up talking about the next thing that comes along. lol. Good luck, and cut where you feel is necessary!


I invited just over 180 people, and we had about 150. Even people who said they were coming a few did not show. So annoying.

Posted on March 15, 2013 at 2:27 am
mymy2463
1
11/02/2013
mymy2463

mymy2463

  • 1
  • 3
  • 33
7
Followers
12
Following

mymy2463

Thank you ladies!  I'm gonna cut away lol.  

Posted on March 15, 2013 at 2:36 am
MnP2013
3
04/18/2014
MnP2013

MnP2013

  • 3
  • 10
  • 945
43
Followers
48
Following

MnP2013

i totally understand! we made a deal with the venue that we have chosen and we are allowed up to 200 guests with our budget but anything over will be extra $ a plate.. my fiance told me at first that he is only going to invite his family which is like 20 people he says.. now he is saying he wants to invite some old school mates and other friends im like i already made my list based of the number of people he chose! SMH! at this point i feel like.. if you are not invited you are not invited! if you are not one of the first people i wrote down when i drafted the list then we prob havent spoken in such a long time.. smh.. in certain cultures tho, some get really offended if they are not invited to a wedding !! People have to be considerate tho.


 


have you tried making an A and B list? like if someone from the A list cant make it, you take someone from the B list and invite them instead..

Posted on March 15, 2013 at 7:23 am
mymy2463
1
11/02/2013
mymy2463

mymy2463

  • 1
  • 3
  • 33
7
Followers
12
Following

mymy2463

That is also part of the issue, I wont really know who is going to come until I send the invitations out and get the rsvp's; and that is IF I get them back.  I already have it planned to provide the headcount higher than what I actually have.  I rather have more than enough than not enough.  After all the advice I'm cutting my list :)  If they want to talk smack they can cause I already dont see them so no skin off my back. WOOT WOOT! lol

Posted on March 15, 2013 at 8:10 am
DansMrs
5
06/23/2012
DansMrs

DansMrs

  • 5
  • 18
  • 5.28k
301
Followers
302
Following

DansMrs

The guest list was one of the hardest parts because we could have easily been at 150/160 but had to limit it to 120. I had to make super difficult cuts and at the end of the day - it's important that you are surrounded by family and friends that are in your life that you can't imagine your day w/o them being there.


That said, there is always the chance of feelings hurt and people talking. But they get over it. And sometimes people don't realize how much money, planning, and effort goes into planning a wedding. Good Luck! :)

Posted on March 15, 2013 at 12:36 pm
foreverlovex
1
05/31/2014
foreverlovex

foreverlovex

  • 1
  • 6
  • 72
47
Followers
50
Following

foreverlovex

If you haven't talk to them in years, do they even know your engaged? That was the question I had to ask Myself! Why am I inviting people that either my father in law or mother in law are "friends with" and I'm not?? You gotta do this for you. its your wedding & it should be the closest people to you.

Posted on March 15, 2013 at 12:50 pm

Have a question? Contact Support
Top Contributors this Week
Levisjoe
12 posts
LauraSweet
8 posts
NicholeB
8 posts
Canooknic
7 posts
nataliefurt
5 posts
Uhlease
5 posts