Spring/Summer 2012 Baby Bumps!

People You Dread Telling?

We've had 2 different people we've dreading telling that we were pregnant. 


The first, DH's sister, I now refuse to call her my sil.  She said our engagement was too soon but I let her be in the wedding and be part of ceremony but last night was the final straw.  W told her and she's like "oh, wow." And then the next statement out of her mouth was "so when are you having the second one?"  Umm excuse me?  If you're going to be a bitch and make a comment like that, at least have the balls to say what you're really thinking, "That happened too fast."  I hate her.  I officially hate her.  If she thinks that she's going to be this negative bitch about it the whole thing and then the day the baby is born she's going to be the #1 Aunt she has a whole nother thing coming.


Our second, is a friend of ours who is having fertility issues, she had an eptopic (sp?) pregnancy and actually almost died.  She'd email/IM me at work all the time about the new girl that she hated who was pregnant.  Well I figured out of respect for her as a friend, I'd tell her and not have her hear it from someone else (maybe that was the wrong choice?)  But anyway, I IM'ed her at work and it was about 5 mins later (which she normally takes like 5 secs) she's like "aw congrats" and then went offline at work.  So now I feel so terrible, but it's like, how can you hate me for something that I have no control over, sort of.  I can't help I'm a fertile myrtle and got pregnant that easy. 


I hope that doesnt make me appear insensitive to you girls that have had issues with fertility.  I can't even imagine how that must feel.

Posted on October 20, 2011 at 4:03 am
AuntTate
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SunnyDBride
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SunnyDBride

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Whoa, your DH's sister is a trip. What is her issue? Why is she concerning herself about when you got engaged and when you have children? She has to understand that is you and your DH's decision to make.


As for your friend, I think you absolutely did the right thing by telling her. I think if she had found out any other way it would not have gone well and could have potentially put your relationship in jeopardy. She may be bothered right now, but try not to take it personally because I don't think it's you anymore than she hates the girl at work. I think it's just the situation and because it has been difficult for her that is really where the frustration lies.


I don't think you are being insensitive at all. It is a very tough situation all around but you are right in that we can't possibly know how easy or difficult it may be for us to conceive. My heart goes out to those who have had a difficult time because it must be heartbreaking, but I would think it would be worse to avoid the topic and not tell people because we think they may be upset. I just see that being a far worse situation. The whole TTC and pregnancy journey is a delicate matter and I really believe sensitivity has to go both ways.

Posted on October 20, 2011 at 6:06 am
SunnyDBride
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Oh, as for who I dread telling, a few of DH's siblings. Two sisters in particular don't like me and I just really don't want to share with them since I don't think they'll be happy. I don't want to feel bad about something that means so much to us and that we're excited about.

Posted on October 20, 2011 at 6:09 am
G8R.Girl
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G8R.Girl

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G8R.Girl

Deneen said it perfectly. I am one of those people who struggled. It took 17 cycles, an RE and 3 IUI's for it to finally happen for us. I understand what your friend feels but she also has to make sure to be sensitive to you and allow you to feel joyful about such a wonderful thing.
Whenever DH and I heard of someone getting pregnant very easily there was a part of us that felt sad. I'm not sure it was even sadness but more of a longing and a frustration that we were struggling. However, we were also genuinely happy and thrilled for them. Our negative feelings stayed between us and were never put on the shoulders of someone who was having such a happy moment. That being said I felt guilty making our announcement because of a couple we know who has been struggling even longer than us. You did the right thing... :)

Other than that couple there isn't anyone I was really dreading telling other than my job which ended up not being a bad experience at all like I expected.

Posted on October 20, 2011 at 6:19 am
AuntTate
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Thanks girls for helping me feel better!  I always thought this was going to be such a great thing to share with everyone and not everyone in my family has been overly excited for us.  It sucks when so many "politics" get involved with the process.  Oh well DH and I are super excited!


 

Posted on October 20, 2011 at 7:11 am

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