Planning a wedding made me more of a feminist

I have no idea how this happened.  Maybe it just ended up with me reading a crapload of Jezebel.  But it happened.


Some people say being married causes you to lose your identity, and I disagree, both from a feminist and just a person standpoint.  I can't say that making tissue pomanders made me think more about women in Saudi Arabia who aren't allowed to drive, but I guess at the same time as I was making punching fancy corners on my save the dates, I was reading a lot of feminist news articles and the likes.


It just happened.  How about you? 

Posted on December 12, 2011 at 2:08 pm
TimilyL
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TimilyL

TimilyL

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aggiebride
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aggiebride

aggiebride

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aggiebride

For me, I was born and bred in a feminist household. My mother is a strong feminist, and raised me with a lot of values that I later learned are not mainstream. She didn't take my fathers name, partially because she had already begun to publish research, but also partially for identity purposes. She is the main bread winner, and my father was the one who really raised me, reversing the stereotypical household.


For all that my mother has taught me, I sometimes feel as though she is a little extreme. I have trouble with the idea of not taking my husbands name. I don't feel like I will be losing my own identity, but that he and I will be crating our identity.


I had a lot of trouble with the baptist minister (my uncle) who will be marrying us during our premarital counseling. Many of the "roles" that we discussed were not in agreement with FI and my value structure. We don't believe that he should be the head of the family, rather we will use our strengths to our advantage as a couple. At one point my uncle said to this: "Well, that would be a thing with two heads, and things with two heads are freaks" ... I replied "well, since you're a man, doesn't that inherently make you a freak?" ... I thought my FI was going to die laughing later :)


In short... I have been raised one way, and didn't learn until later it was not the norm. :)

Posted on December 12, 2011 at 2:38 pm

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