I’m not sure if this has happened to any other PW brides but this is what I’m going thou right now. And will example why I haven’t been on the broad in a while.
For years I have suffered with anxiety disorder and as my wedding is quickly approaching my anxiety has worsen. I’m not sure when it started getting bad but I notice myself becoming withdraw (like not being on the PW and playing with my little boys) and I would get very sleepily during the day. But for the past few weeks or so I’ve been having panic attacks every day (mostly when I think about the wedding). Because of my anxiety I have developed insomnia, I would go to sleep around 11 (or later) and I wake up at 2 or 3 and I up for the rest of the night. And sadly my anxiety andinsomnia is affecting my whole personality, I’m yelling at everyone, everything and everyone gets me upset and I cry A LOT.
On a normal day my anxiety level is at 2 which means I will be okay. And on a bad day my anxiety can go up to a 6 or 7 which means I could have a panic attack. In the past few weeks my anxiety is at level 6 just waking up and thought out the day my anxiety rises to a 10 or higher.
Christmas day was really hard for me, I was in a foul mood all day and when I came home from my house I yelled at my FI for not putting the food in the oven. And on Saturday we went shopping trying to found my FI and the boys their outfits for the wedding and once again I was in a foul mood and started to yell at my FI. I had a panic attack in the middle of Burlington Coat Factory and Target.
Yes medication is available to help manage the anxiety but I hate taking all medicine, especially for anxiety. Because my personality seems the change a lot, I become more withdrawn. I'm trying to get my anxiety under control but nothing is working as of right now.
I'm sorry if this was all over the place and too long. But thanks for reading.