POLL: Who pays for the wedding?

Tradition is that the parents of the bride pay for the wedding, however in my situation my fiance and I decided to pay for it ourselves. We received little economic help from both families but we understood 100% since both of our families were going through some economic difficulties.


Who will be paying for your wedding or who paid for it?


 


Tradition is that the photo 3431542-1

Posted on December 3, 2012 at 10:39 am
monche
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monche

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(22) Comments

Uhlease
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Uhlease

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We were in the same boat as you.


We were lucky to get a little help from both families, but payed for the majority ourselves.

Posted on December 3, 2012 at 11:01 am
mrs_shondra
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mrs_shondra

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We're splitting it.  

Posted on December 3, 2012 at 11:03 am
IdoAgain20years
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IdoAgain20years

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Mark and I paid for ours and we will pay for our vow renewals. I think this is good thing.


I told my daughter that when she gets married she will have to pay for hers and the same for the boys.


I did tell my daughter that I would help her with making decorations.


I think this makes them really think about who and why they are getting married.

Posted on December 3, 2012 at 11:18 am
monche
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monche

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IdoAgain20ye that's true! for my husband and I was some sort of training in finances lol It really helped us a lot and we learned to communicate "money"

Posted on December 3, 2012 at 11:48 am
missjess485
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02/19/2012
missjess485

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We paid for it ourselves. I felt really good about doing it ourselves, we were both proud to be able to put our dream wedding together!

Posted on December 3, 2012 at 1:10 pm
Canooknic
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07/19/2013
Canooknic

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We are paying for it ourselves. It is my second marriage and my parents contributed to the first so I told them straight off that I wanted nothing from them, if FI's parents contributed their would be strings attached - certain people would have to be invited etc - and I'm not interested in that!!

We have started savings accounts for our boys that will pay for university and help with their weddings, but they will not be told about the wedding fund until after they are engaged. If they don't get married they can have it towards a deposit on a house if that happens first!
Posted on December 3, 2012 at 1:22 pm
Amberglam
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05/01/2014
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Thanks for bring this topic up monche! My FI and I were just
talking about this. It was so crazy how my parents made it clear that they
would not help financially as soon as the engagement occurred. I understand
& there are no hard feelings but there was not even any kind of planning
help offered or help with DIY like IdoAgain20ye plans on doing
with her daughter. My FI and I are saving for the wedding and I think that
shows a lot of discipline on our part. That's why our wedding is so far out. I don’t
need financial help as much as it would be nice to just have the excitement and
help with other things that go with the wedding & preparing for it....I
hope everyone is able to have the wedding they want no matter who pays for it
:)

Posted on December 3, 2012 at 1:22 pm
Uhlease
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Uhlease

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SO true, Amberglam! I hope you end up getting some help or excitement from your family! I know with mine, it wasn't until the date got a lot closer that they finally showed excitement and interest and wanted to help. But that's just how my family is, we don't show our excitement very well! I'm sure you'll get more help when you truly need it :)

Posted on December 3, 2012 at 2:58 pm
IdoAgain20years
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IdoAgain20years

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Amberglam My family is not typical. My parents told my DH NOT to marry me. I would NEVER do that to my kids! I planned my first wedding in two weeks because of the craziness in my family. She was not excited and she has NEVER been there for me as a mother should be. I was the reason she HAD to get married. I keep reminding her that in 1974 abortions were legal and it is not my fault I am here. I don't care how bad relationships are you don't say that to a kid at any age.


Thankfully, I am NOTHING like her!!!


My brother did not come to my wedding swearing it would not last. He now regrets it, but he will be coming to our vow renewal and my parents won't.


I think dealing with family is part of making sure the marriage WILL work. If you can work with your FI and deal with all of their demands and stand up to them when needed the marriage will be cake walk, but if you and your FI don't back eachother up and support each other than you know you will need to work on that because you need to be on the same page when you have your own children.

Posted on December 3, 2012 at 10:43 pm
GermanBride2011
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05/28/2011
GermanBride2011

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We paid it all ourselves - it was really important to us do pay this on our own, because the wedding was very important to us and we wouldn't to let our parents pay for it.

Posted on December 4, 2012 at 1:25 am
karenrose
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10/20/2013
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Each set of parents is paying up to 25%, with FI and I paying for the rest (most likely between 50-60%)

Posted on December 4, 2012 at 5:47 am
MrsCaleYoung
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06/30/2012
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We paid for our wedding ourselves. This is very typical in today's society. Lucky is the bride who has her parents to back her with the expense! Towards the end we were pulling out our hair to ensure all the vendors were paid for. 

Posted on December 4, 2012 at 5:58 am
khrystena1985
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02/09/2013
khrystena1985

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Well at the time of planning i became unemployed :-( My mom said she would pay for most of it but i felt guilty not being able to contriubute. She payed for the venue and my dress and im paying for the food and cake and lots of little stuff in between. Now that im employed again i can do a lot more. My fiance has no family to contribute. My parents said they would pay regardless of my situation or his but we are all under hard financial times. For me its all about budgeting and using my resources and being a little more realistic about the costs of things. (well that i think is important and not) Im helping as much as i can. Like with all the table centerpieces and decor etc. I just dont expect her to do everything even though she thinks she can. Its still my wedding! Overall i would say shes doing about 60% and me %40.

Posted on December 4, 2012 at 8:50 am
Uhlease
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Uhlease

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I think, regardless of who pays, we are all lucky :)

Posted on December 4, 2012 at 8:52 am
monche
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monche

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Amberglam You can totally do it! like you said with some dicipline and anything is possible :) Putting the number all together may seem like you will never be able to reach that amount but it is possible!!

Posted on December 4, 2012 at 12:01 pm
beccabride
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beccabride

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DH and I paid for ours.  : )

Posted on December 4, 2012 at 12:16 pm
Amberglam
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I think that my family will come round Uhlease. It’s nice to hear that I’m
not the only one with a family that has the lack of excitement. We had to push
back the wedding date due to the fact that we do want a wedding everyone can
enjoy and we don’t want to be in big time debt when it’s over...Wow IdoAgain20ye.. I thank you
for sharing what you went through. It shows me that it could be a lot worse.
Some people are not happy to see other people happily n love - even if it is
their own family members.


 


I hope everyone doesnt let the lack of help get to them. At first it was getting to me. But I am happy I found this site to help me see all the great things about planning :)

Posted on December 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm
janandgerald
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03/26/2016
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We're paying fot our own. If and when my boys get married I told them I would help.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 2:32 pm
IdoAgain20years
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IdoAgain20years

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HONESTLY it does not bother me. I am not sure why, but I think that is part of what makes me able todeal with all of lifes up and down roller coaster rides Nothing is as bad as it was when I was young and nothing will be that bad again.

When the time actually comes for my kids to get married I may even do more than what I think at present, but I guarentee that I will explain why I think it is more important NOT to splurge on the wecding but to splurge on the honeymoon and the house. I think a small wedding is nest spend under 2k and then spend that 10k on a great vacation. Something that lasts more then one day. A wedding is about the ceremony the reception is to thank guests the Honeymoon is about building a new life together.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 4:55 pm
leni8
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leni8

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Well.. in Cyprus is a litle different as the guest do not bring any gifts just money to the wedding and couples use most of that money to pay for the wedding. 

Posted on December 5, 2012 at 2:02 am
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