Post baby healing time?

We finally told our family and friends this past weekend about the baby. I feel relieved but now the questions from others begun. My due date is 5/11 and dh is in a wedding on 5/25 and a relative is getting married on 5/26 oot. The wedding is in California and we live in Ohio. If I deliver around the time of my edc then it will put me at 2 weeks postpartum. I was asked will I be attending the wedding on 5/25(local) and I replied probably not because it will only be 2 weeks and I might be breastfeeding. The bride replied I can pump and still come to the wedding.


Then his aunt asked about the other wedding, which is the next day in Cali. Frankly, with us in the process of purchasing a home, moving, getting nursery in order I think this expense is too much, and that would require my dh to be gone oot and I would not have help. The wedding is on a Sunday so he would probably not return back home till Monday. His aunt said I would be fine if he goes out of town and be left alone. I just feel like I have no compassion from others and people think it would be okay for my husband to go traveling across the country and leave his wife with a new baby alone. If you think about it; he will be busy that Friday for the rehearsal practice and bach party. The Saturday of the wedding he will be busy doing bestmen duties and gone all day. I would have  my fil give me a ride and find a babysitter for that wedding, since the wedding is adults only. Then the next day he leaves to go out of town for a wedding and I would be left home. I feel that is too much for me to handle in a course of a few days after having a baby.

Posted on November 7, 2012 at 4:02 pm
mahoganieyes
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prinncessjennifer
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prinncessjennifer

If it were me - I would say no to both.
The first one: 2 weeks after birth it's still a lite rough, you are still healing, still bleeding, still have a baby pooch and that's just you. Then you have the baby, the sleep deprivation and breast feeding. Do you plan on taking the baby with you to the wedding? I wouldn't do that either. My pedi recommend not going out for a month.
The second: Out of town, forget it! Too much stress. And having your DH go and leave at home I wouldn't do that either.

I'm going my experience and the first month was the hardest. It's a huge adjustment going from doing whatever you want yo having a human being dependent solely on you. It's amazing but stressful!

We went to a wedding almost a month PP and it was ok, it was good to get out of the house but I missed my baby too much so we stayed about 2 hours.

Do what is best for your family - people will understand! Shame on the bride and aunt to try and guilt you in going!
Posted on November 7, 2012 at 10:53 pm
clipscomb1987
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I would say no too, what if the babies late? Then you could have a week old and be expected to travel etc no way! I would just say where gonna have to decline- too much unknown with the baby, when is it coming, if it will have any complications etc. 

Posted on November 8, 2012 at 4:56 am
Canooknic
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Personally I would say no to both too. I always thought I would be happy with my mom babysitting from day one, but when babes arrived it was a totally different story!! I couldn't leave them!

Learning to adjust to having a baby is crazy, and attending a social event (in my opinion) would be too stressful.

Do what is right for you xxx
Posted on November 8, 2012 at 5:12 am
AuntTate
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Ugh, I'm in the same boat you are.  My DD is May 3rd and we have 3 weddings next year already, April 13th, May 27th (Whatever Saturday is Memorial weekend haha), and June 29th.  I don't want to go to any of them and none of them are going to be an issue most likely. 


My biggest thing is, who doesn't want to touch/hold a new baby and at a wedding, there are a TON of people there.  And for the adult only, what are you going to do, spend 1/2 the wedding/reception in the bathroom pumping if you BF? 


We had DH's cousin pass on being in the wedding and coming because his wife was due around our wedding day and we certainly didnt hold that against them, we totally understood.  And we certainly didnt expect him to stay in the wedding and leave her home with a new baby or ready to deliver. 


I'd pass and just send your regrets and hopefully they'll understand.

Posted on November 8, 2012 at 8:35 am
dorkmeetsnerd
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i'd pass on both as well.  health and well being is utmost important.

Posted on November 8, 2012 at 9:23 am
kristinkay
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You could also still be pregnant. Or had a baby like 24 hours before. I would pass- you have no idea what type of delivery you will have and if you end up with surgery you might still be in the hospital or even with a bad tear you could not be wanting to sit and travel. And as far as pumping goes most LCs will recommend you wait to introduce a bottle until the baby has a good latch and your supply is established which could take month. I would recommend telling people that you just have no idea and no way to predict how you or baby will be feeling or doing at that point so you can't commit to anything (I would probably do this for anything closer than like three months out or anything that requires you to be away from your baby) and that if they need a definite answer than you will have to decline. And just ignore the comments. People are stupid and don't understand what having a newborn is like. Someone who thinks that you can just pack up and pump and leave a newborn has never had one before.
Posted on November 8, 2012 at 9:53 am
mahoganieyes
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Thank you ladies! They made me feel like I was being selfish.


 Kristin- the bride does not have any kids and wants to get pregnant on her honeymoon. You would think she would be more caring about my situation. She seems selfish and why does it matter if I come or not? Not like we're friends and only been around this lady for 30mins in the past 2 years.

Posted on November 8, 2012 at 1:08 pm
prinncessjennifer
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prinncessjennifer

Ditto what Kristin - I had a 3rd degree tear and it was painful to sit for long periods!

Posted on November 8, 2012 at 2:18 pm
olga21
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11/14/2009
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I was in a very similar situation. There is a wedding of a friend in December, but our boy will be due in 2 weeks ( November 23).... I will definitely not be leaving him, or traveling far with an infant. I called her and explained it. I think she found my excuse to be a bit "paranoid," but she said it is ok. I suspect that you will not be in a party mood anyway... You and baby come first :)
Posted on November 8, 2012 at 3:15 pm
kblove
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OMG, girl, you are NOT being selfish.  The people asking you to "pump and come" are being selfish.  Even if they don't realize it now, they will when it's their turn ;).


I have the same issue.  For us, one of the weddings is the week we are due, and the other is a moth after.  We are declining on both.  The one a moth after delivery is about a 10 hour car ride, or a very expensive plane ride, and the bride and groom both understand why we can't make it.


Sometimes you've gotta make the tough call, you know?

Posted on November 9, 2012 at 6:54 am
mahoganieyes
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@Kblove- so true!


 

Posted on November 9, 2012 at 9:46 am

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