Primary income?

Are you responsible for bringing home most of the bacon, or is he? 


My husband is the primary "bread-winner" and it's hard for me...I feel guilty spending money bc I look at it as "his"...I wish we were more equal.  :(

Posted on April 5, 2010 at 6:47 am
wildfirej29
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(27) Comments

meanyprice
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08/25/2009
meanyprice

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Me.  I make about double what DH makes.  He is an electrician apprentice, so he doesn't make a lot.  When he finishes school and gets his license, then it will even out some, but I'll still beat him by quite a bit.  We have separate money so that we don't fight about it.  We split the household bills.

Posted on April 5, 2010 at 7:09 am
nycbride1
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09/10/2010

nycbride1

Comment has been removed by Project Wedding due to a violation of our Terms of Use
Posted on April 5, 2010 at 7:16 am
soon2bMRStip
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09/12/2009
soon2bMRStip

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soon2bMRStip

Right now I am the primary "bread winner" but it is not our ideal.


I honestly would rather him make all the money if it ever becomes an option so I can be home full time with our future kids and take care of our home (I know, it sounds so 1050's, but its the truth)... DH is working on his Masters Degree as we speak so hopefully other possibilites will open up for him once he is done where he can bring in a bigger paycheck.


He has a very conventional idea of how he should be providing for his family and I am perfectly fine with going along with that if are ever given the opportunity!! :-)

Posted on April 5, 2010 at 7:29 am
miss_em2010
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When H and I first started living together, my income was double his. Literally...almost right on the dollar. He "contributed" what he could, but honestly, there was no way we could split things 50/50. So I picked up ALOT of the tab and had to cut out alot of my own personal shopping etc. which after time, DID start to bug me a little (keep in mind though, we weren't even engaged).


Over time though, he got a better a job and promotions etc, and now he makes WAY more than I do. Which is awesome b/c I feel like it's "pay back" and I get to spend all his money...hehe...and I don't feel bad at all. He is LARGELY commisioned based so it varies alot too from month to month...


There will be times when I make more, when he makes more but at the end of the day, I really look at it as "our" money and don't make a distinction as to who contributed more.


Janie - don't feel bad!!!

Posted on April 5, 2010 at 7:36 am
LauraSweet
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06/12/2010
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He makes several times as much as I do.  So he's going to pay all the household bills and I'm going to buy groceries, etc.  And I carry family coverage health insurance.

Posted on April 5, 2010 at 7:40 am
fernandaaraujo
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09/19/2009
fernandaaraujo

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we split everything even. we have 2 joint accounts and what ever we make goes to these accounts... DH is self employed, he runs a dog care business, and his income varies... but most of the time we make about the same... there were times that i was making much more than him, and we were both fine with it. 

Posted on April 5, 2010 at 7:55 am
beatie
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beatie

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DH makes a good deal more than me...almost double. But we only have joint accounts...nothing is separate. So all our paychecks go into one account and all expenses get paid out of one account. I think it's a recipe for arguments and resentment if you try to split expenses based on who makes what. To me, marriage is a partnership, not a business arrangement, and divvying up the bills just seems so impersonal. This is what works for us...
Posted on April 5, 2010 at 10:24 am
ccia84
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03/05/2010
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DH makes more money than I do :-(  This hopefully will only be temporary...I was making more money before we moved and unforuanately can't find many jobs that pay good out here. 


We have a joint account that we both have so much put into each pay check that covers all of our bills.  We had this same setup before we got married and it has been working for us so we just keep it like it is.  Everything left over in our personal account is our "fun money" that we can do whatever we please with..Since DH makes more money then me he usually will give me extra or pay for meals when we go out.


 

Posted on April 5, 2010 at 12:05 pm
heartsetfreebylove
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05/16/2009
heartsetfreebylove

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Ditto to what beatie said about splitting up based on who makes what. Dh and I share everything. Its our money not my money and his money. Its always worked (except a brief period of time I was unemployed, then we had a couple scuffles).

That being said, we make almost the same amount of money. I'm paid a little less hourly but I get overtime and he doesn't I also get quarterly bonuses. Regardless we look at it as equal.
Posted on April 5, 2010 at 5:10 pm
MizBiz
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07/17/2009
MizBiz

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DH makes about $10,000 more per year then I do, which after taxes, really doesn't make that much of a difference.  However, he does do "side gigs" year round which add up substantially at the end of the year.  He does high performance sports camps, so he's able to make quite a bit of money in the summer months.  We still pretty much split all of our bills 50/50.  I'm not comfortable with it any other way.  Even when I made next to nothing and was doing my 2nd degree, we still split our bills 50/50 (mind you, it was when we lived in an apartment as opposed to being home owners so our bills were much less than they are now).


I think I've come to the realization that even though being a STAHM sounds like a great idea and it's what I THOUGHT I wanted, I don't think I could do it.  I like having my money to spend after bills are paid and savings accounts are topped up at the end of every month.  I don't know why I feel that way....

Posted on April 6, 2010 at 1:10 am
midnyteblue110609
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midnyteblue110609

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DH and I make about the same amount right now.  When DH is done with his masters in May he will be making a lot more than me. 


At this time, everything is split evenly.  We put the same amount into our vacation fund, groceries, savings, etc.  We are a lot more comfortable with doing things this way.  We also both have our separate checking accounts.

Posted on April 6, 2010 at 1:33 am
midnyteblue110609
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midnyteblue110609

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@MizBiz: i feel the same way ...

Posted on April 6, 2010 at 1:41 am
HISRIB2010
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Right now, I make more than he does, but he will / wants to be responsible for the bigger items such as the mortgage and paying my car note. I'll handle the groceries, utilites and insurance.   

Posted on April 6, 2010 at 6:27 am
GatorBride
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We make almost identical salaries (within a few thousand of each other), and have for about 3 years. So we share expenses 50/50. We didn't combine our checking accounts because we had a great system worked out pre-marriage that still really works for us, and neither of us wanted to change banks, change all the accounts on our direct-pay bills, etc. It's just a pain to re-work everything, lol.


We save equally as well, and what doesn't go into pre-tax retirement goes into a shared savings account.

Posted on April 6, 2010 at 2:08 pm
MrzLemUS
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09/17/2011
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FI makes almost double what I make.  The bulk of our paychecks go into the same account.  The other little piece goes into our individual accounts.  That's our "what if" account...out of sight out of mind.  We pay ourselves first, then pay our bills out of the joint money.  Because of our pay schedules, it works out that everything is split.

Posted on April 7, 2010 at 4:38 am
Lilivati
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Lilivati

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He makes more than I do (though it was reveresed for a long time) and will more than likely continue to do so.  I feel like a bad feminist for saying so but I'm glad...I really hate being responsible/feeling the weight of everything on me, and while I like working, I don't like the feeling that our survival depends on me.  So I'm glad he's the "breadwinner".

Posted on April 7, 2010 at 5:08 am
Yosemitebride
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I'm the breadwinner. Not by choice, though. I make several times what he does right now, only because his business (construction-related) has been so hammered by the economy.

Posted on July 13, 2010 at 12:12 pm
amandah24
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Up until next Wednesday, it will be DH, but after that I'll be starting a job and it'll even out a little bit. He'll still be making more than me, but not as much of a difference.

Posted on August 10, 2010 at 12:34 pm
VheartsM
5
10/16/2010

VheartsM

Our salaries are pretty close and when once he gets his RN license, he's going to try and transfer to the same hospital (different facility/department) because my hospital pays alot more than his for RN's. And for finances, we split everything right now and once we're married it becomes OUR money.

Posted on August 11, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Kaytana17
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Our salaries are close right now - but I still make more. And *crosses fingers* if I get a new job I'll be making quite a bit more. Overall he'll likely make more since he's going to school for his CGA.

Posted on August 11, 2010 at 4:44 pm
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