PW Guide Article: Do you Hate your Engagement Ring?

apax submitted an article for the Project Wedding Guide.

Do you Hate your Engagement Ring? article photo
photo by: Jose Villa


Feel free to comment on it here!
Posted on December 2, 2008 at 10:30 am
PWAmanda
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07/12/2008
PWAmanda

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(103) Comments

markande
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11/13/2010
markande

markande

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markande

I love mine. I had picked one that was smaller.... he bought the same ring that I wanted  just much much bigger BAM That was my supprise

Posted on August 15, 2010 at 12:16 pm
Karina_and_Josh
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11/18/2011
Karina_and_Josh

Karina_and_Josh

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Karina_and_Josh

I love my two engagement rings ;)

Posted on August 15, 2010 at 12:19 pm
cookieemonster1988
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09/17/2011
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cookieemonster1988

I love mine as well and wouldn't change it at all. It suits me and he has really good taste in jewelry!<3

Posted on August 16, 2010 at 6:18 am
QuirkyBride2010
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09/18/2010
QuirkyBride2010

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QuirkyBride2010

I love mine too!  I have friends that received one that they hated - I look at it as they should have talked to their FI before this or immediately after instead of having something on your hand forever that you hate.

Posted on August 16, 2010 at 6:27 am
AnneNM82
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05/27/2012
AnneNM82

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AnneNM82

That's great that all of you love your rings so much. Ummm, so, why are the rest of you reading this article if you don't have this problem? Just to feel happy about being luckier than others of us? I'm happy that you're happy, but isn't this kind of like showing off your double whopper with fries to someone who's starving? 


My ring is lovely, and I love my fiance, but this isn't what I would have picked out. In the excitement of getting the ring and planning a surprise proposal, he didn't consult my tastes in style or color or even my ring size, or learn about the 4 C's. This article made me feel a little better about this very unlucky position-- because it doesn't matter if I feel hurt that he didn't figure out what I wanted, or that I'm showing off a ring that isn't "me" (it doesn't feel like it should've been my ring); but if I change it, then I'm the bad guy; and I feel like I can't tell anyone how I feel; and I definitely can't tell my fiance because it will hurt his feelings; and we have a long engagement, so I'll be wearing this every day for the next two years until I get a wedding band. I mean, it's not the most horrible thing in the world, and it's not that big of a deal, but it still just hurts a tiny bit that my fiance wouldn't try harder to get me something I would want. So when I look at it, I feel happy, but a little hurt too-- and that kind of sucks.


But on the bright side, it's super neat for you that you can read this article and feel happy and superior about being luckier than me.    

Posted on September 23, 2010 at 3:23 pm
AnneNM82
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05/27/2012
AnneNM82

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Oops! I meant to say "why are you," not "why are the rest of you." 


Also-- I suppose I would've brought it up to him beforehand, but I didn't know he was going to propose! Plus, he'd looked at the rings I normally wear, and he knew my size because I'd told him-- yet he got me one size smaller. That hasn't been so bad because I lost a little weight, so it doesn't hurt to wear it now. 


I did bring up that I might like a different setting at first, but his feelings were hurt. I love everything about the diamond-- he must've just lucked out on it-- and wanted to put it in a different setting, but the stupid store where he'd bought it said they wouldn't take back the setting and not the diamond. I didn't want to loose my beautiful diamond, and then I started to feel bad about giving up the setting just because it was the one he'd used to propose-- and he can't really afford to buy me two engagement rings-- or a semi-mount setting on top of the engagement ring.


So, I'm wearing this ring for our engagement, and when we get married, I'm just going to replace it with a wedding ring.

Posted on September 23, 2010 at 3:32 pm
leah276
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05/07/2011
leah276

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leah276

The ring that my FI proposed w/ was gorgeous! He knew that i loved the antique style, and its what he got! However- the ring was too big and bulky for my fingers! In fact, I wore it for 2 days and had bruises on my pinky and middle fingers from it. I was so so so upset, b/c i didnt want to hurt his feelings- he picked it out himself and wanted it to be perfect! I just sat him down (crying the whole time btw!) and explained that it wasnt me. I'm not a blingy person and besides, i was in pain! He totally understood and wasn't upset at all, he just wanted me to be happy. His mom said he liked like 1000 rings and couldnt really make up his mind anyways. So we ended up looking around and finally the last place we looked was actually the place he bought the original one and i found another one that came w/ the band! And that was another problem w/ the original- i wouldn't have any clue what type of band to put w/ it b/c it was soooo big! So, my advice to anyone who doesn't like their ring is to simply talk to your FI about it! If you have concerns about it, let him know. If you pretend you like it and really don't  and he ever finds out, I'm sure that would hurt his feelings worse.

Posted on November 19, 2010 at 4:55 am
tea.jeffery
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07/12/2012
tea.jeffery

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tea.jeffery

I love my ring! Its different and I love rubys.

Posted on March 18, 2011 at 6:56 am
heidinbryon11
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06/04/2011
heidinbryon11

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heidinbryon11

I gave FI an "idea" : ) Marriage was a topic between the two of us a month before we got engaged.


I remember telling him that I did not want something flashy, gawdy, or ridiculously large. lol (I'm a simple girl)


I insisted he get something white gold, dainty, different, bridal set & marquise.


FI nailed it.


I gave FI an photo 2795569-1


 


I will admit that almost 2 months ago, I seen an add on jewelry website for a princess cut ring, and sadly became obsessed with it. I even told for FI I should of went with a princess cut. HOW TERRIBLE of me. I didn't mean any harm, I was just being a spoiled brat. FI was def. hurt by my stupidity. Which made me realize.. IT IS NOT ABOUT THE RING. What it looks like, how big it is, etc. It's simple a token of endearment and it's about the fact that he ashed me to be in life forever, as his partner and wife. And if it's not huge or super shiny that doesn't mean he loves me less. He found something special in the ring he gave me, that he asked me to wear this special token, and that's what should matter. : ) 

Posted on March 18, 2011 at 7:31 am
lbrookeknowles
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05/15/2012
lbrookeknowles

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lbrookeknowles

I ADORE MY RING!!! Its princess cut, nothing on the sides it is simple just how i wanted it! and the wedding band is gorgeous with it!

Posted on March 18, 2011 at 7:33 am
lcooper2b
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06/02/2012
lcooper2b

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lcooper2b

I think my ring is the worst of them all! My fiancee is obsessed with opals so my engagement ring is a huge opal with two side diamonds. Everyone thinks it's a heirloom ring but I tell them it's just his favorite stone. I would probably be a lot happier and in love with it if it wasn't for the fact that he took me ring shopping before hand. I'm trying to be optimistic about it but when I see other engagement rings my heart stops a little. Maybe on our wedding day I will get the ring I picked out.
Posted on June 6, 2011 at 3:28 am
megalush
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10/20/2012
megalush

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megalush

 


I hate my engadement ring its yellow gold which i hate like white gold more the setting is shit and i hate the way the diamonds are set. (What is worse my older sister her engadement ring is nearly the excact same only hers is white gold) My heart sank when one of my close friends got engagaed after me and she had the ring i had my heart set on and what really anoyed me was my finace helped my friends fiance pick out that ring. But he said he was going to buy that ring for me and deceied againts it personaly im going to pick out my wedding ring and im never wearing that engadement ring ever again after we get married

Posted on June 12, 2011 at 2:00 am
fromcoldtofire
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07/08/2011
fromcoldtofire

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fromcoldtofire

I adore my ring - FI and I would have conversations about e-rings whenever friends got engaged, etc., and we discovered that we disliked the same things, haha. I told him quite a few times that I love solitaires with round stones (reading the above comments, I never knew how many girls really hate them).


Without my knowing, he went to the jeweler on three separate occasions to choose to the setting and the stone. He ended up choosing a solitaire that was way larger than I anticipated, but I certainly don't mind that ;)


The best part - he chose the solitaire because HE liked it. He didn't realize what a solitaire actually is, and thought that it meant one big stone with smaller ones around it. However, he said that when he saw the single large stone he thought it fit my style. It was meant to be! :)

Posted on June 12, 2011 at 2:47 am
donnakdobson
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08/18/2012
donnakdobson

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donnakdobson

I don't per se "hate my ring" but it is most definitely not what I asked for. The wrong cut, the wrong color, so on and so forth. I specifically was asked for cut and color and he did just the opposite. I wanted white gold and ascher cut. I got a combo of white and yellow gold with a round cut. He just knew I loved it... WOW!!! NOT!!! I have debated since the day he gave it to me to say something, but like some of you other girls, I am so scared of hurting his feelings that I just can not bear to do so. I thought that he could have done a little more research and most definitely listened to what I told him. I mean we talked about it one day and the next he purchased it. Not in any way what I wanted. The lady at the jewelry store told him, it was close to the ascher cut in the way it was mounted. B.S. she just wanted to make a sale. Can you say SUCKER! Well she made the sale.

Posted on August 24, 2011 at 1:22 am
meemz
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05/03/2012
meemz

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meemz

Ladies, if you dislike your ring, please just keep it to yourself and hope that maybe one day you can upgrade it and get a new one. I just made this horrible mistake about 2 days ago. My fiancee is overseas in Afghanistan and i emailed him and told him in the nicest way possible that it was not the shape i had wanted and sent him a few that i liked better. He proposed in May before he left. He is devastated and VERY hurt and will not talk to me because he does not know what to say. in his words, he chose it from his heart and it represents our relationship. I have  learned a huge lesson, that it's not the ring that matters, it's what it represents and me mentioning something has made me appear ungrateful and materialisitc. He even went so far to tell me to cancel the photography appointment on Thursday. I'm not sure we are even getting married anymore. PLease don't do it, it's not worth losing the best thing that's ever happened to you. I need prayers ladies, i messed up real bad :-/ No matter how nice you say it, the meaning of the ring is basically thrown out the window which has made him feel that i care more about the ring than being with him. Horrible situation, i'm so upset. And this is coming from the guy who i have always been able to honest with, never gets upset over anything...... trust me, don't do it.

Posted on September 6, 2011 at 5:22 am
Faithk08
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07/14/2012
Faithk08

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Omg, that would stink! I love mine, but then again, we picked it out together!

Posted on September 6, 2011 at 5:25 am
carolinawedding
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03/19/2011
carolinawedding

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carolinawedding

I just asked my DH what he would prefer. He said he'd rather me tell him (tactfully of course!) that I don't like it. In our case, our heirloom ring would be put into a safety deposit box and he'd buy me one I wanted. He's not that sentimental over it, though, and would just want to give me something I'm happy with.


That said, we don't have to worry because my ring is awesome.

Posted on September 6, 2011 at 5:52 am
cuteboy2me
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09/22/2012
cuteboy2me

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cuteboy2me

I love my ring.  I picked it out. FI and I went shopping to buy it, after much internet searching and back and forth on both sides. 


It is exactly what I wanted and couldn't be happier with it or him!

Posted on September 6, 2011 at 5:54 am
SunnyDBride
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05/28/2011
SunnyDBride

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I think every situation is different, but if you really dislike it, you are not doing anyone any favors by holding it in. I think you should approach the situation thoughtfully and tactfully but you should say something. When people hold things in, eventually they come out and you'd hate to be arguing one day or something and go off because you're steaming about your ring. 


I told DH all about the 4Cs and what they mean etc and then told him the the type of ring I wanted. I gave him two or three different rings and he picked one of them. I don't think there's anything wrong with giving our guys a little help! : )

Posted on September 6, 2011 at 5:58 am
meemz
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05/03/2012
meemz

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meemz

That's what i thought Sunny but I guess it was the wrong place, wrong time? It's pretty devastating to think that I could lose him over this. This must have hit him really hard.


 


And the only thing i said was the shape, that's it. I think it's  combination of a bruised ego and a very stressful situation already in Afghanistan. Wrong place, wrong time.  How can i not be looked at as materialistic at this point? I have no ideas.....

Posted on September 6, 2011 at 6:20 am
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