PW Guide Article: Family and Weddings – How to Fight Fair

jeanish submitted an article for the Project Wedding Guide.

Family and Weddings ? How to Fight Fair

Don't let your big day become big drama!

Family and Weddings ? How to Fight Fair article photo

Feel free to comment on it here!
Posted on February 19, 2010 at 11:59 am
donj2009
1
05/29/2010
donj2009

donj2009

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(9) Comments

donj2009
1
05/29/2010
donj2009

donj2009

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donj2009

I feel that;though these people are attending the wedding, it's only FAIR that the Bride and Groom tell them that it's not their decision because it's NOT THEIR WEDDING! LOL! If anyone, who isn't me or my fiance, says that they disagree with something in our wedding, I'd humor them and let them state what they think should be done, but ultimately, I'd tell them, "step aside now, because you have no say so in OUR wedding".

Posted on February 19, 2010 at 11:59 am
kaykay
1
08/28/2010
kaykay

kaykay

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kaykay

So....I definately think "The Guest List" is the absolute worst part of the whole planning situation! I thought my family was big and then I finally got the whole guest list from my fiances side of the family! .....WOW is the only thing I could say! It's so hard to figure who all to invite without having people upset or offended that they aren't invited. (Not to mention we actually DO want most of everyone we know to be there:)) We want all of our family and loved ones to be there but, then we would also like our closest friends to be there too! And what about all our friends from work that have always offered to help in any way with the wedding that they've been hearing all about, all year long! And then, all of your other friends and family that you dont really see everyday but, when you do finally see them a few months before the wedding they want to be invited! And then all the friends and family on you have on your facebook and myspace that find out your getting married and they're e-mailing and calling you saying "We better get an invitation to the wedding!" or "I know we better be invited to the wedding!" Suddenly you feel like you and your fiance are a famous couple being swarmed by the paparazzi! Yet you only have enough room for 200 guests at the most at the reception! What's a Beautiful Bride to do? Help!!!!! Suggestions anyone??????

Posted on June 1, 2010 at 9:45 pm
JMFHerbick
1
05/28/2016
JMFHerbick

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I'm incredibly scared of just having both of our families in one place for one day! My parents and I have a difficult relationship and in the past they have made mean comments about my future in laws. I'm worried that in a tense moment there could be an all out shouting match! Additionally my fiance's parents are divorced and his mother and step-mother don't get along. I get along well with both of them and want to include both of them as much as possible without hurting the other's feelings. I'm hoping to find an article or advice on these types of situations!

Posted on June 16, 2011 at 9:42 am
vilemega
1
04/14/2012
vilemega

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vilemega

What about the groom's opinions and personal tastes and preferences aren't those equally important as the bride's?  Maybe he too has been dreaming about this day since he was a child.


 


Kaykay:


You could just tell people that you would love to have them, (if you would) but your finances do not allow for much (any) wiggle room in the guest list... sorry:( and then blame the limited flexibility in your guest list on your fiance's overly (re)productive family.

Posted on January 14, 2012 at 9:31 pm
Lexy5028
4
12/22/2018
Lexy5028

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Great article!  I do believe the groom should be involved even though he may not have been thought to dreamed about the wedding.  It not only an emotional help, but its a physical relief.  Looking back 20 years from that day it would be nice to know you havd a supports and helping groom.  As for all the arguing from family memeber I do believe that opinions will be good but if it beginning to turn into a nit-pick about everything then you and your opinions can sit down. 

Posted on January 15, 2012 at 11:30 am
beccabride
20
10/10/2010
beccabride

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beccabride

This is definitely a great article and was a huge help for us during the planning of our wedding.  : )

Posted on January 15, 2012 at 11:36 am
fmsweyd
1
11/11/2012
fmsweyd

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fmsweyd

Definitely needed this a LONG time ago. All of the big stuff is planned out with only 99 days left, and it was the big stuff that caused fighting. And one of those fights caused so much damage that fh only sees his mom once a week, and it's not gonna get any better by the wedding:( Really wish that articles about family feuds with weddings were one of the first things sent out to brides.

Posted on August 4, 2012 at 1:37 pm
alfresco5
1
11/18/2012
alfresco5

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I agree that this, and other articles i've just recently recieved, should be emailed out early on. And vice versa, i received articles early on that didnt pertain to me yet. Instead of sending out the same articles to everyone, it would be great if they were organized by relevence to how far along / far off the wedding is. I know these articles are available all the time through searching the site, but working full time, planning a wedding, and trying to live a sane life, I don't have the time for that. Just a suggestion :)
Posted on August 11, 2012 at 2:33 am
IdoAgain20years
3
02/20/2018
IdoAgain20years

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IdoAgain20years

It has been 20 years since my wedding day and I am STILL THANKFUL I PAID for it myself!!! I did not have all these headaches to deal with and NOW we are renewing our vows and once again it is upon e to do it the way we want.


The first time it was Peaches and Cream and my wedding dress was Peach drop waist tea length in the front and train in the back.


Now it is Platinum and Ice and my dress is Platinum colored and the decorations are white silver platinum and pale shades of blue all to mimic icicles and frozen water for our winter vow re-newals.


I think it really is a mistake to have others pay for a wedding unless you want to say. . . You do what you want and have the wedding they want and then re-do it yourself afterwards.


I told my kids if I pay for the wedding I am running the show, if you pay for it you can have what ever you want. I prefer very small weddings with the money being spent on the house. You want lavish you pay for it yourself and I will NOT give you the downpayment for your house.

Posted on November 9, 2012 at 6:53 am

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