PW Guide Article: Preparing for the Invasion of the In-Laws

apax submitted an article for the Project Wedding Guide.

Preparing for the Invasion of the In-Laws

If it?s hard to believe that your future in-laws were really responsible for creating something as wonderful as your beloved fianc? ? you?re not alone!

Preparing for the Invasion of the In-Laws article photo

Feel free to comment on it here!
Posted on December 9, 2008 at 4:28 am
PWAmanda
1
07/12/2008
PWAmanda

PWAmanda

  • 1
  • 7
  • 162
11
Followers
12
Following

(11) Comments

d1rtymart1n1
20
12/04/2009
d1rtymart1n1

d1rtymart1n1

  • 20
  • 16
  • 32.2k
537
Followers
538
Following

d1rtymart1n1

gosh - i guess i'm pretty lucky?? FILs are super! dont have any of these things happening or worrying about ;-)

Posted on December 9, 2008 at 11:04 am
abattyref
5
10/06/2007
abattyref

abattyref

  • 5
  • 12
  • 5.59k
153
Followers
156
Following

abattyref

Wow, me either. I guess we lucked out.


But, the best way to have a sane relationship with your inlaws is to make sure that your FI/DH always has your back. And vice versa.

Posted on December 9, 2008 at 11:36 am
sbru1
1
04/17/2010
sbru1

sbru1

  • 1
  • 2
  • 17
5
Followers
9
Following

sbru1

Mutual respect and communication are very important factors, which goes along with having each other's back; if you truly respect one another, you won't go around bashing each other or complaining to your families.  Long after the argument or disagreement has cooled and everything has been forgiven and forgotten between you, the in-laws still remember!  

Posted on December 27, 2009 at 9:35 am
Nany
1
04/24/2010
Nany

Nany

  • 1
  • 2
  • 1
4
Followers
8
Following

Nany

wow, I wish I got along well with my mother in law. She is just like Everybody Loves Raymond. She always had some rude comment to make. I don't know what to do anymore. I always try to be civil with her but my patience is running out!

Posted on January 6, 2010 at 5:45 pm
gregsfuturewife
4
05/01/2015
gregsfuturewife

gregsfuturewife

  • 4
  • 12
  • 3k
138
Followers
141
Following

gregsfuturewife

Oh this is great. I never thought that we would need to set boundaries, but FI's dad has to stay with us for every single familiy wedding and other event. Not that I don't love them, but they just assume that our home is open anytime they need it.


I am Ukrainian, and FFIl's partner used our kitchen to make perogies! If anyone has ever made them, you know that it is suuuper disruptive to everything!!

Posted on January 6, 2010 at 5:57 pm
slhashimoto
10
05/23/2010
slhashimoto

slhashimoto

  • 10
  • 16
  • 12.3k
578
Followers
580
Following

slhashimoto

So lucky that my in laws to be are wonderful!!

Posted on January 6, 2010 at 6:00 pm
kmg611
1
05/01/2010
kmg611

kmg611

  • 1
  • 2
  • 73
8
Followers
12
Following

kmg611

I was just in the middle of setting boundaries! My FMIL is pretty much buying us off or something! She even gave my fiance a check to pay for Internet for year... just her way of keeping that cord attached but it will break soon!!

Posted on January 12, 2010 at 1:26 pm
LadyHope
5
01/01/2011
LadyHope

LadyHope

  • 5
  • 20
  • 6.43k
187
Followers
189
Following

LadyHope

I agree... boundaries boundaries boundaries! Even with DECENT in laws, setting boundaries is a huge part of you and your FI/husband becoming your own separate family.


I like my FILs, but my FI could be living in the same room as his mom and she'd feel like she didn't get to see him enough. ;) He's gotten better about not being guilted into traveling to see them all the time, though. (It's funny how they always want US to drive to visit THEM, but never the other way around... I think it's the same distance both ways!)

Posted on January 12, 2010 at 4:32 pm
SheenaD
3
10/10/2010
SheenaD

SheenaD

  • 3
  • 12
  • 1.14k
127
Followers
131
Following

SheenaD

OMG...I can vent! My FMIL is a nightmare to say the least. I love her, but my gosh is she the MOST negative person I've ever met. She's never happy, satisfied, not b****ing about something! My FI and I are actually not speaking to her at the moment because she called us some not so nice names and said we were ungrateful and posers! She's crazy! Even my FI says so! One of the first questions she asked me was...so big or small wedding, I said medium, she says small is good! Then she says so I guess I'm responsible for the flowers and RD. I say well whatever you can, but I don't want a whole lot of flowers so that won't be to pricey. She says ok, and the RD will be at McDonald's...not funny!  Then, without me around thank gosh otherwise I might have lost it, she tells FI "so i hear I'm responsible for the bar, well I hate to tell you but IT WILL BE CASH BAR...I'm not paying for your friends to get drunk at your wedding" Good thing FI had the guts to say something...he told her no mom you don't have to pay for that and we ARE having open bar! 


Then FFIL...well sad story, but he's not too much part of our lives. He is on and off the wagon with drinking and drugs and lives in FL (we are in DE)...


 


Ahhhh...feels good to vent!

Posted on January 12, 2010 at 5:05 pm
Pearls1120
1
11/05/2011
Pearls1120

Pearls1120

  • 1
  • 4
  • 104
20
Followers
24
Following

Pearls1120

wow...I lucked out. My FILs are wonderful people I <3 them :)

Posted on January 12, 2010 at 5:22 pm
Catherine52513
1
05/25/2013
2
Followers
6
Following

Catherine52513

I agree with this article but its frustrating to see that it is written only for a straight woman. What about lesbians and gay men? We have the same problems too! It would be nice to see some project wedding articles that include everyone.
Posted on February 5, 2013 at 1:48 am

Have a question? Contact Support
Top Contributors this Week
Canooknic
22 posts
NicholeB
22 posts
krosa
17 posts
Linnn
16 posts
Levisjoe
14 posts
AshandTrev
10 posts