Sad and dejected
Well, I thought the weekend started off good, but I made the mistake of reading racing message board on Saturday and it ruined everything.
Some of you might know that I announce auto races at a track nearby. This weekend was the first night of the season for racing - and it's the beginning of my 8th year announcing races.
One thing changed this year with my announcing job and it's that another announcer is joining me and we are both announcing - so we can banter and keep the crowd more involved/interested.
So anyway, there's basically an entire thread about how bad I am at announcing. Seven people in two different threads said I was awful and I didn't know what I was doing and I shouldn't be announcing. NOBODY stuck up for me. Just one person said I "wasn't bad." I really thought my announcing went well for the first race of the season (which can be really crazy), but I guess not. This was a job I LOVED, but now I don't even want to announce or go to the races anymore as bad as some of those comments were. After reading that stuff on Saturday, I just couldn't shake it off and today even as I write this, I'm still literally crying about it.
I really pray that the races rain out for the rest of the season so I don't have to announce anymore. I don't even want to go back. And yeah yeah, I know that the some people on message boards like to complain annonymously and are jackasses and such, but still - why pick on me? I must have been pretty bad if they just pick on me. It didn't help that the wireless mic that I was using wasn't working right and the sound was off and I was either too loud or too quiet depending on how the wireless was working or if I used the corded mic. My interviews got cut short because we were running late due to so many cautions and even those who I did interview, spoke so softly that even if I had shoved the mic IN their mouth, they wouldn't be heard - but on the MB I was told that I just don't know "HOW" to hold a mic to an interviewee. People wrote that I had NO IDEA what I was doing or how to announce, etc. It just really has me down about the job I cherished. People are so mean, I just don't understand it. And yet they were saying the guy I announced with was great, perfect, blah blah blah.
Friend on Facebook are trying to make me feel better by saying that the people on the message boards are just know-it-alls, etc, but still, there must be some truth to it since so many people complained about me and took the time to post it. Plus, even if it is just one jerk who's just posting to make me feel bad, it still hurts a lot. This has just reaffirmed my thoughts on retiring from announcing after this year. I'm too sensitive for the criticism that comes with it.
Also, this makes me wonder why my boss has decided to have another guy announcing with me this year. Did HE think I was so bad that he had to bring in another announcer? Is that what's going on? I was actually excited to start the season again, but now - I just wish it were over already so I could be done with it. This, I thought, was my special talent, something I could OWN and call mine, but now I feel like I have no talent whatsoever.