September 11

I am planning on a Septemebr 11, 2009 wedding.  I have chosen this date because it is a 4th generation wedding date in my family; my parents, my mother's parents, and my mother's grandparents.


This date is important to me and means a lot to my family but it's hard to take in the reaction from people when I tell them the date I have chosen.  Most of the time, after explaining the tradition, people politely accept the date, but sometimes the feeling remains negative. 


How do I overcome this negativity?  Should I not choose this date?  Am I just too sensitive?

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 2:31 am
Tradition911
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09/11/2009
Tradition911

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(22) Comments

d1rtymart1n1
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12/04/2009
d1rtymart1n1

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keep the date...

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 2:32 am
d1rtymart1n1
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12/04/2009
d1rtymart1n1

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i thought about gettting married around the same time my mother passed away - just so it wouldnt be a sad time anymore - but it's also around valentine's day and no flowers are to be found or the cost of florals are doubled...


if it's a tradition in your fam - stick with it - you cannot change other people's reactions - just move forward with what you feel is importnt to you and your fh right??? 

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 2:37 am
AMiller
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09/13/2008
AMiller

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My rehearsal dinner is on Sept 11 and my wedding is on Sept 13

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 2:59 am
Kimbeerlee2
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11/01/2008
Kimbeerlee2

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Personally, I think thats a weird day for a wedding. As a guest, it would be odd to attend a "happy" event on that day without thinking of the greater context of the day.


I think you should pick a new date a start a new family tradition. In 100 years your great grand children would understand why the date was changed.


 

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 3:04 am
d1rtymart1n1
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d1rtymart1n1

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what about Dec 7???  do you think people stopped having events on Dec 7??


or Aug 6 or 9?? (when WE dropped the bomb on hiroshima and nagasaki killing thousands of civilians)


there are many sad days in our history - we shouldnt change our lives b/c of them...


i dont mean for it to be a sign of disrespect but if we were to live our lives according to the world calendar of bad events, we wouldnt have one day that is "happy"

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 3:12 am
Tradition911
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09/11/2009
Tradition911

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Yeah it is weird, but what about tradition?  And I do agree with the Dec 7th, etc point also.  Sure it will be many more years till we are ok with the 9-11 date but isn't it ok to make happy memories on that date?  Are we letting them win by staying solemn on 9-11?  What truely is the 'greater context'?

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 3:28 am
d1rtymart1n1
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d1rtymart1n1

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the greater context is personal to you...  my vote is keep your family tradition going and get married on sept 11


i mean, my opinion shouldnt matter - nobody's opinions should matter - only what is important to you and your fh should matter...


what makes it wierd?? b/c we were attacked by terrorists?? and b/c thousands of people died??  not to be callous, but while it is a sad day and i feel for the kids who lost parents and spouses who lost spouses, what about your famly tradition??


do you think people in vietnam think... "well we cant have a wedding this day b/c that is when the americans invaded the gulf of tonkin"???  or do you think people in afghanistan block all parties or weddings on oct 7 - the day we bombed the sh!t out of their country??


life is life and you must do what makes you happy, and if that means having your wedding on a date that has significant meaning for generations, then do it!


and again, i dont mean any disrespect to any of the families who lost someone on that day - but c'mon, we cant keep tip-toe-ing around 9/11...  it's time to move forward.

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 3:42 am
WMforever
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06/14/2009
WMforever

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its all up to you. i think its very nice and considerate that you're taking into account how people feel about the darkest date in American soil history. i mean, it was afterall the biggest terrorist attack on innocent civilians in our country. and boy did we get hit hard. however, you have every right to have your wedding on this day especially since its a family tradition. maybe you could honor the fallen with a moment of silence during your wedding. and of course highlight the reason you chose that day, because its a tradition.

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 3:49 am
txbride08
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09/13/2008
txbride08

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Agreed stick with YOUR date. Anyways it can be a way to celeabrate the lives lost by starting new life...

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 4:01 am
jess143
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09/19/2009
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I agreee with Martini!!! Stick with your date!!

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 4:05 am
HeLovesMe
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04/25/2009
HeLovesMe

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I agree to, Stick with your date & if people do ask, share the reasoning, get it around have people talk about it, post it on your website.  Also do what Mare said do something to honor those who have fallen.

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 4:23 am
AshleyP
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11/01/2009
AshleyP

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I hope I don't sound cheap when i say this, or callous. But, I know September 11th is one of the cheapest day's to fly so if you have any out of towners who are flying in that day, it won't be as expensive.


 


I just say this because I'm now not attending my cousins wedding because he is having it Thanksgiving weekend this year and travel prices for that weekend are outrageously high. I'm upset I'm not going but it's too  hard to fly  that weekend

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 4:25 am
Tradition911
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09/11/2009
Tradition911

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Thank you everyone.  I appreciate your advice on the day and suggestions too.  I don't want a red, white and blue wedding but I do want to honor the lives of 9-11, whether it be with just a moment of silence or some other manner I am still unsure. 


My fh was in Brooklyn when the tragedy occured and ironically his music group's former name was 9-11 commemorating the day.  The date has a lot of significance and I will proceed to remember the good times.

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 5:08 am
JuneBride2008
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06/29/2008
JuneBride2008

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The date is fine, it is my sister's B-day also. I think the negativity of a date like that fades over time. If it's a tradition, I say keep it!

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 5:11 am
JustAnothrBridezilla
4
09/13/2008

JustAnothrBridezilla

I'm getting married 9-13 i have told all my guests to fly in 9-11 b/c flights are half price.  my sisters b-day is 9-11 i think that same year..haha keep the date.  people complain about my 13..unlucky bla blah i told them its lucky for me and to get over it!!!

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 5:15 am
beatie
5
10/11/2008
beatie

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I agree with keeping your original date.  It's tradition which is very important.   Yes, it is a tragic day and should always be remembered and acknowledged.  But I also think that it should be a day of renewal and rejoicing in what is happy in the world.  Triumphing over tragedy and pain.  So what better way to add a happy, joyous meaning to the day than to marry your love.  I think maybe taking a moment of silence during your ceremony to acknowledge those lost would be a nice touch.  And maybe at your ceremony, have a small memorial table off to the side, very discrete, would be special.  Don't give a thought to what people think about your date of choice.  You'll quickly learn that in planning a wedding, there will be people all along the way that don't agree or totally get many your choices.  But it's your and your FI's wedding...do what you feel is right!

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 5:16 am
mrs.carlo1934
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05/29/2010
mrs.carlo1934

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I lost my cousin on 9/11 and I think that a wedding on that date would be great.  We remember Michael every 9/11 with happy thoughts not sadness.  Yes we still hurt but if we stop living they win.   I say keep your family tradition and say a little prayer for all those we lost.   I know my cousin would agree with me.  He always loved a good party!!

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 5:17 am
Eugugoly82
4
10/10/2008
Eugugoly82

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Very good idea Marerod!  Having a moment of silence for the fallen men and women would be a very honorable thing to do.  You shouldnt have to change a family tradition, because of the history of a specific date.  One thing to take into consideration is if your family or anyone that you know was directly affected by that date.  If someone was, that person may not want to attend a wedding that day.  Just a thought!

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 5:40 am
Kimbeerlee2
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11/01/2008
Kimbeerlee2

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I can't believe that I'm the only one that thought  that September 11th was not a good date for a wedding.  I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone or start any political conversation. 


However, since you asked our opinion, I stand by the fact the I would never have our wedding on September 11th nor would anyone else in my family. If I were a guest at a September 11th wedding I couldn't help but think that it was somewhat inappropriate.   That being said, whats right for you isn't right for everyone.


Good Luck!


 


 


 

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 9:43 am
Sarahinwonderland
20
10/17/2009
Sarahinwonderland

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I would say that since September 11th is the most recent tragedy, people will be more tender to it than to the events in December.


It is your date, but maybe you should have a moment of silence or some type of memorial to show people that you are thinking of the tragedies that happend on this date.


Since this tragedy happend in all of our lifetime and the others might not have, we should all be sensitive to how our guests react. I dont think you should change your date, but I do think you should make known that you want to memorialize what happend as well.

Posted on June 24, 2008 at 10:21 am
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