Should under 18 get a 'plus one'?

We are having a bit of a disagreement with the upcoming wedding of my daughter.  We included 'plus one's for those over 18, whether or not they were in a committed relationship.  Now, my sister who has two children, ages 10 and 12, is upset because her 12 year old daughter did not get a plus one.  It seems she has a 'boyfriend' for about a month now.  I know how these kids, yes kids, go through relationships, and we don't need the flavor of the week or month at the wedding.  Personally, I think she's way too young to have a boyfriend, but that's another story.  Anyway, we finally gave in and said to bring the boy, just to avoid conflict.  So today, my sister stopped over with a check to cover the cost of the addtional meal, but made a point of telling me how rude I am for not inviting the boy.  The cost of the meal was never the issue, and in fact when she RSVPd, she hadn't included him either, the kids have only been a couple for a month.  She actually even threatened not to come to the wedding.  I think this whole thing is ridiculous!  Am I wrong for not including a 'plus one' for a 12 year old?  How would you handle this.  I hate all this drama and how it is dividing the family.

Posted on June 9, 2014 at 7:57 pm
susanharp
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06/14/2014
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(6) Comments

Canooknic
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07/19/2013
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 I think 12 is way too young for a plus-one, unless they are the only child at the wedding in which case I would probably let them bring a friend just so they have some company.

I have a brutally honest relationship with my sister so I would be completely comfortable telling her how ridiculous the whole situation was, but I definitely wouldn't recommend that for everyone! Lol

I think maybe you should sit her down and explain that you had a strict over-18 plus-one policy and that even though you aren't happy with your niece bringing her "boyfriend" you're agreeing it to it because of her threat not to attend.

Good luck

Posted on June 9, 2014 at 8:56 pm
LauraSweet
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06/12/2010
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12? No, I don't think a plus one should be expected. Maybe for a 16 year old with a boyfriend/girlfriend. But not for a 12 year old. 

Posted on June 9, 2014 at 9:46 pm
krosa
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09/16/2012
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 i totally agree with everything already said.  

Posted on June 9, 2014 at 11:25 pm
Kuppy13
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09/05/2014
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 I also agree, a 12 year old expecting a plus one is way beyond the ordinary to me. 

Posted on June 10, 2014 at 7:55 am
Sammy_D
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09/10/2011
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Agreed - 12 seems ridiculous to me. Bottom line - whoever is paying for the wedding gets to make those kind of decisions. There is no reason for you to have to pay for a 12 year old 'flavor of the week' (I like that lol). 

Posted on June 10, 2014 at 8:48 am
KimandByron
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04/25/2015
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No way would I include a plus one for a 12 year old
Posted on June 10, 2014 at 11:45 am

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