Shower Q:

So my MOH is trying to get a hold of my other BM's and figure out where and 3 of my cousins are my BM's and she asked if their mom could host it at her house since she is the only one with a big enough house b/c all of them are very young and live in small apts.  and the question has been ignored.  Q:1-is it my place to ask? or my moms? Q:2- my MOH wants to know if we have it at a restaurant who is supposed to pay?  Is she supposed to fork over 1K or however much it will be to feed 20 people?  the 3rd option my cousin lives in those grove condo's and they have some sort of a rec. room she said we could do it there but she won't pay for the food.  At this point I have asked them for nothing and my MOH is the only one doing anything to help me.  And I'm fed up.  I feel like just telling them to all to just forget it b/c I no longer care since its obviously just a bother for them or whatever... What is etiquette anyways?  

Posted on July 30, 2008 at 11:34 am
JustAnothrBridezilla
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09/13/2008

JustAnothrBridezilla

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HolyMolyMatrimony
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08/31/2008
HolyMolyMatrimony

HolyMolyMatrimony

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I didn't use anyones house- b/c no one seemed to offer or care, so we did it at the restaurant- which does cost a lot of money IMO.  My Girls split the cost- although I know some paid more then others, and my mom probably helped...


The rec room would be the cheapest.  You could get a local place to cater it- or do a pot luck...


I would talk to your BMs about it- so they can start to collaborate it.  Someone could be in charge of invites, decorations, cake, set-up etc.  Then it will run more smoothly and there all playing a part. 


- HMM :)

Posted on July 30, 2008 at 12:03 pm
JustAnothrBridezilla
4
09/13/2008

JustAnothrBridezilla

Yeah my poor MOH is doing everything all by herself and I feel bad for her.  She has been so awesome and supportive.  She is making invites, doing the games, etc.  She is organizing and planning and she is also doing the bachelorette party.  And all while she is finishing school.  She even helped me with the invites and was at my house til 3 am. And she has really been there for me and come thru on so many things and it just upsets me that my own cousins don't GAFF.  Her question about the restaurant is who pays when my cousin won't even $ for cheap a** food at her condos rec room.  At this point I just want to tell them all to just forget it.  It's supposed to be something that they do out of the goodness of their hearts and none of them care so why should I?  I don't ask them for anything just to show up.  I had a bridal brunch where I treated them all to a nice place and 3 of them didn't even show up until we were leaving.  I bought them all really nice gifts.  And for what????  I'm really over it all.

Posted on July 30, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Gratefulbride
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08/10/2012
Gratefulbride

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I think you should go with your true feelings.  If deep down you know you may regret not having the shower, then, like HolyMolyMat said, I would have the friend set up shoP @ her rec room, or do any of the BM's have a clubhouse for their apartment that they could reserve?  With that, Im sure that maybe each BM could bring 1-2 party trays, cake, champagne, etc... You could even have a heavy hors d'ourve affair & purchase alot of that from Sams/Costco etc...to cut cost. 


It will all work out, but at this point, I'd probably say something.  Although being a MOH is a high calling, she is carrying alot of weight, which is unfair & it needs to be balanced.  Best Wishes...

Posted on July 30, 2008 at 12:44 pm
HolyMolyMatrimony
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08/31/2008
HolyMolyMatrimony

HolyMolyMatrimony

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- Thats also why I think you should even do it at your moms sometimes???  Its a free place, and your MOH will be there to help plan and set-up.  Then say screw asking for the other girls to help...


Have the other girls ever been in weddings/ to a shower- sometimes if you haven't its hard to know what to do?  Maybe they need to be 'enlightened' haha


I think your MOH should try to delegate tasks- even having some being in charge of a game, decorating, baking dessert- that's really not at all to much to ask for.


Maybe you need to communicate with them- your MOH has a lot going on and may not feel comfortable being forceful with them?  You could at least shoot the shit with them- like you don't know too much- just to feel them out, ect. Inconspicuously...

Posted on July 30, 2008 at 1:08 pm

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