So annoyed.

I hate always having to be the bigger person. I hate always having to be the one to fix things. I'm tired of everything.


3 weeks ago was my bridal shower for close friends and a select few of close family (only 3 each from both sides). On the day of the shower my FI tells me that one of his aunts was hurt that she was not invited (NO other aunt was invited so she wasn't the only one "left out") and wanted it to be cleared up asap. There have been plenty of showers and weddings that I wasn't invited to for people I'm "closer" to than his aunt and see on a weekly basis, and I was never hurt any time because even I realized it's nothing personal and usually not possible to invite everyone. My mom even asked his sister if certain people from his family should be invited so there aren't any hurt feelings and she said no, THEY'LL UNDERSTAND. Anyways, I explained to him that there will be another shower later where everyone will be invited, including his aunt and that this shower was only for specific people (my "church"). So he said ok and that HE will handle it.


2 weeks after the shower I asked if he fixed it yet and he said no. I moved on. Then today he asks me if he could send his aunt who is STILL hurt an apology from my FB account. I said no, he could do what he said he was going to do and explain to her that there will be another shower and that this shower was only for certain people. Now, I know apologizing would be harmless but what I'm annoyed with is she's hurt for not being invited to a stupid shower even though she is ONE OF THE FEW people invited to the wedding, which is the important part. His ENTIRE family is invited to the wedding, and only a handful from my family are and SHE'S hurt. None of my family was hurt EVEN THOUGH they're not even invited to either. So now my FI is angry with me and told me I'm acting like a baby. All I've been doing with this stupid wedding is accommodating HIS freakin family so THEY'RE happy, not even my own, and it's still not good enough.


Since he's around his family A LOT and they all live very close to each other that he's so influenced by what they want or say, that they ALL bombard him. I think he just takes the easy way out and just tries to please all of them otherwise he won't hear the end of it. I can't wait until he's away from them so their influence isn't as strong. But still, I shouldn't have to always please them when my own family is left out.


I should also explain that I'm aware you're not supposed to invite the same person to multiple showers for the same person/couple and only invite those who are invited to the wedding. But the majority of our friends and family are fine being invited twice or only being invited to the shower and not the wedding. Those we know wouldn't be ok with it are either invited to only one shower, or not invited at all if they're not also invited to the wedding.



Posted on August 9, 2010 at 6:32 pm
MekanaSass
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08/25/2010
MekanaSass

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Southerngurl_40
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08/14/2010
Southerngurl_40

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MekanaSass - You're always gonna have people like that.  No matter what you do, they'll never be satisfied.  Outsiders never realized it's about Y O U and what you want.  I wouldn't send her an apology.  I'm dealing with a similar situation and my wedding is 4 days away.  I specifically asked those planning my shower to not invite folks I don't intend to invite to the wedding.  And they did, those folks are now looking for invites.  Guess what -you haven't one.  As you stated - it's nothing personal, it's just not possible to invite every single person.

Posted on August 10, 2010 at 2:12 am
MekanaSass
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I would probably feel differently if she were hurt because she's one of the people we were unable to invite to the wedding. But this is a freakin shower. I mean come on, you're invited to the next one where the FAMILY will be invited so get over it already. She should be happy we're inviting her to the WEDDING when most of our family is not (I should say when most of MY FAMILY is not)! And I'm acting like the baby? Right. I will admit I'm bring stubborn about this, but I don't need to and I shouldn't have to deal with this kind of crap over not being invited to 1 of 2 showers days before the wedding when I'm stressed as it is.


If anyone should be hurt for not being invited to a shower it would be me. About a week ago there was a baby shower for my FI's cousin (the son of the aunt who is hurt). I was purposely not invited because the sister in law of the cousin doesn't like me. Now that's personal, not inviting the aunt to this particular shower was not. But was I hurt? No. Will there be another shower that I'll be invited to so I don't miss out? No. Do I get an apology? Nope. And I'm perfectly fine with all of it.

















Posted on August 10, 2010 at 8:17 am

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