I hate always having to be the bigger person. I hate always having to be the one to fix things. I'm tired of everything.
3 weeks ago was my bridal shower for close friends and a select few of close family (only 3 each from both sides). On the day of the shower my FI tells me that one of his aunts was hurt that she was not invited (NO other aunt was invited so she wasn't the only one "left out") and wanted it to be cleared up asap. There have been plenty of showers and weddings that I wasn't invited to for people I'm "closer" to than his aunt and see on a weekly basis, and I was never hurt any time because even I realized it's nothing personal and usually not possible to invite everyone. My mom even asked his sister if certain people from his family should be invited so there aren't any hurt feelings and she said no, THEY'LL UNDERSTAND. Anyways, I explained to him that there will be another shower later where everyone will be invited, including his aunt and that this shower was only for specific people (my "church"). So he said ok and that HE will handle it.
2 weeks after the shower I asked if he fixed it yet and he said no. I moved on. Then today he asks me if he could send his aunt who is STILL hurt an apology from my FB account. I said no, he could do what he said he was going to do and explain to her that there will be another shower and that this shower was only for certain people. Now, I know apologizing would be harmless but what I'm annoyed with is she's hurt for not being invited to a stupid shower even though she is ONE OF THE FEW people invited to the wedding, which is the important part. His ENTIRE family is invited to the wedding, and only a handful from my family are and SHE'S hurt. None of my family was hurt EVEN THOUGH they're not even invited to either. So now my FI is angry with me and told me I'm acting like a baby. All I've been doing with this stupid wedding is accommodating HIS freakin family so THEY'RE happy, not even my own, and it's still not good enough.
Since he's around his family A LOT and they all live very close to each other that he's so influenced by what they want or say, that they ALL bombard him. I think he just takes the easy way out and just tries to please all of them otherwise he won't hear the end of it. I can't wait until he's away from them so their influence isn't as strong. But still, I shouldn't have to always please them when my own family is left out.
I should also explain that I'm aware you're not supposed to invite the same person to multiple showers for the same person/couple and only invite those who are invited to the wedding. But the majority of our friends and family are fine being invited twice or only being invited to the shower and not the wedding. Those we know wouldn't be ok with it are either invited to only one shower, or not invited at all if they're not also invited to the wedding.