So I finally said no... regarding guest lists

It was mean, I should have said no the moment she asked but she caught me off guard so I was really stressed out but I FINALLY got up the nerve to say "No." My first time putting my foot down re wedding and being kind of a dramatic but what the heck, its my wedding and I've been very accommodating to everyone else for a long time.


 


Okay here's what happened:


1. I co-chaired a big charity gala in Texas when we were stationed there


2. I invited my co-chair and her husband to our wedding, I had become friends with her while we were stationed there although we're not particularly close, we're movie and gym friends


3. She calls while I'm in the middle of a cross country move and says her husband can't come but "as her +1" she is bringing her random friend who happens to live in the area where we are getting married, I've never met this person. She didn't really ask, she kind of told me and badgered me into saying yes. She's my mothers age and I don't think she's used to being told "no."


4. I stressed for weeks about it since we're having a small, small event and how awkward to have a handful of your closest friends and family and this random  person you've never met. If I were having a +1 wedding, I would have had a big wedding. I have family members that aren't even invited and this lady wants to bring a random high school friend so she can "reconnect?!" Plus I know her and the company she keeps, imagine a very drunk middle aged woman you've never met at your small, small wedding... awkward.


5. Sat down and finally wrote email (made sure to address wedding invites to her and her husband only, what's that phrase? "No ring, no bring." ) and said something like, "Oh I know when you called me while we were moving across the country I said yes but I just saw the site in person for the first time and met with the catering manager and the site is really very small so I don't think we can comfortably accommodate another person. I'm sorry because I know you were hoping to use my wedding as a high school reunion but I just don't think we can manage it." Of course I was much nicer but ahhh sigh of relief


6... let the temper tantrums begin but I'm feeling MUCH relieved!!

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 11:14 am
champagnecholly
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09/19/2008
champagnecholly

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(7) Comments

jharks
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10/11/2008
jharks

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jharks

wow! Strong words... any response yet?

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 11:30 am
kblove
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it can be rough saying no... I'm glady you stood up for yourself though.  Its YOUR wedding after all.  If she's a true friend she will understand.

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 11:38 am
abattyref
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10/06/2007
abattyref

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abattyref

very stong words, but worded very well. If I received that email, I would get the point and not even be offended! Right on!

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 12:30 pm
nidia112
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05/01/2009
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Wow, you go girl!  This is what worries me so much.  I can just see our families -- both are Latino and notorious for inviting uninvited guests to other people's events -- calling to says so and so's 4th cousin twice removed is coming as their +1.  Ugh.  I'll have to save this thread for when my time comes.  :-)

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 12:36 pm
champagnecholly
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09/19/2008
champagnecholly

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Haha, well I sent the email, although much sugar coated from above... she wrote back with some lame excuse as to how she wasn't going to make it anyways. The excuse was that she was coming back from another vacation, before she said she was flying back from her vacation the week before our wedding and planning to come to our wedding the next weekend. It just shows that she wasn't even coming to our wedding to see us, but to have her high school reunion!

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 1:01 pm
champagnecholly
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Nidia, if you need the text here is what I actually said, feel free to use it!


"Hello _____,


I hope that you are well. I just wanted to see how you were doing and see if you received the invitation. I know last time we chatted I was caught off guard about you bringing your friend. I would really love to say yes, and I know at the time I did, but now that I've seen the site in person and spoke with the catering manager I really realize there simply isn't that much room for added persons. The rooms at the club are much smaller than they described. I'm very sorry since I know you were hoping to make the weekend a chance to get in touch with your high school friends locally. I hope you will still come next month as we're both really looking forward to seeing you."

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 1:04 pm
3monkeys
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08/02/2008
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she sounds like a b@#!h! good on you for sranding up for yourself you go girl!!!! :)  

Posted on August 19, 2008 at 9:50 pm

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