So I finally said no... regarding guest lists
It was mean, I should have said no the moment she asked but she caught me off guard so I was really stressed out but I FINALLY got up the nerve to say "No." My first time putting my foot down re wedding and being kind of a dramatic but what the heck, its my wedding and I've been very accommodating to everyone else for a long time.
Okay here's what happened:
1. I co-chaired a big charity gala in Texas when we were stationed there
2. I invited my co-chair and her husband to our wedding, I had become friends with her while we were stationed there although we're not particularly close, we're movie and gym friends
3. She calls while I'm in the middle of a cross country move and says her husband can't come but "as her +1" she is bringing her random friend who happens to live in the area where we are getting married, I've never met this person. She didn't really ask, she kind of told me and badgered me into saying yes. She's my mothers age and I don't think she's used to being told "no."
4. I stressed for weeks about it since we're having a small, small event and how awkward to have a handful of your closest friends and family and this random person you've never met. If I were having a +1 wedding, I would have had a big wedding. I have family members that aren't even invited and this lady wants to bring a random high school friend so she can "reconnect?!" Plus I know her and the company she keeps, imagine a very drunk middle aged woman you've never met at your small, small wedding... awkward.
5. Sat down and finally wrote email (made sure to address wedding invites to her and her husband only, what's that phrase? "No ring, no bring." ) and said something like, "Oh I know when you called me while we were moving across the country I said yes but I just saw the site in person for the first time and met with the catering manager and the site is really very small so I don't think we can comfortably accommodate another person. I'm sorry because I know you were hoping to use my wedding as a high school reunion but I just don't think we can manage it." Of course I was much nicer but ahhh sigh of relief
6... let the temper tantrums begin but I'm feeling MUCH relieved!!