Speeches at Weddings....what are your thoughts.

I meant to post this on Monday but it has been crazy at work so here it goes......Fi and I attended a co-workers wedding who happens to be good friends with FI.  It was a beautiful wedding except for one thing the SPEECHES. 


I understand that people want to acknowledge other people like parents, we wedding party, guest, telling stories and so on and so on....BUT 3 1/2 Hours worth.....I don't know about you guys but sitting there and watching people around us and hearing there comments has deterred FI and me from having people say anything.  I just realized that people are really too nice to tell you how long and boring it is to sit through all of that but when we saw the bride and groom and they asked our opinion, we told them the TRUTH!!!!! And guess what they realized by sitting there, that, they had made a very big mistake in letting people make their speeches and Mrs. S. said If I could do it all over again I would change it all, I just waisted half of my night, I thought she would cry :)


So FI and I decided the only people who are going to make a speech will be just the two of us and if others get offended to bad it's OUR wedding and we want to have fun and not be bored....


Sorry for being such a length letter but WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO!!!!!think about this :)

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 7:59 am
Maggie.T
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11/05/2011
Maggie.T

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(23) Comments

carolinawedding
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03/19/2011
carolinawedding

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If you do them, put a TIME LIMIT!!


FIL surprised us and did a speech. If it was two or so minutes, I'd have been fine. But the damn thing was fifteen minutes long. You could see everyone getting soooo bored, including DH and I. I'm still pissed about it.

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 8:00 am
kat.m
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09/25/2010
kat.m

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It is your wedding and if you just want the two of you to speak then that's great!... however, if your parents are helping you out in any way, you might want to run this by them first and make sure that they are okay with not speaking.


I hear you on the long speeches... they can REALLY kill a wedding.


We had a strict time limit on ours... 30-40 minutes MAX!  Therefore, everyone only got a few minutes to talk... it helped to limit everything as well as all of those funny quirky little stories that no one really understands anyway

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 8:01 am
plumcrush01
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Seriously, 3+ hours?!  My MOH's speech was a little over 5 minutes & it was hilarious, but I still feel like some people started to get bored.  You should watch my expression at the end of her speech...I was cracking up because I kept thinking she was done :)  In total the speeches were 10 minutes!


 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Je-IbeMZ4M

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 8:02 am
ajfisher
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09/10/2011
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My FSIL and FBIL did the speeches at the rehearsal and only her brother (and maybe her parents...I don't remember) spoke at the reception. It was really nice that way. I would love to do that, but not everyone will be at the rehearsal, so I think we'll have a few speeches, but we'll limit time, and it'll be during dinner or right after.

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 8:03 am
TimilyL
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11/11/2011
TimilyL

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FI's best men are writing a rap song.  YIKES.


My MoH will do something good, I'm sure.


I don't like the idea of doing speeches that last forever, but sometimes they can be nice.  At a wedding we went to last year that FI was in, they opened the floor to anyone who wanted to make a speech.  It was all parents and BP members, but it was lovely.  I couldn't believe how well that went, as I fear if we did the same at our wedding, it'd be a disaster. 


That wedding was also a plated dinner, so people made speeches while food was being passed.  Ours is buffet, so there's no way we can get away with opening up the floor for speeches with hope of anyone eating.


You have to get a feel for your crowd.  We might have my mom, or FI's parents speak, but they won't say much.  I know this now. 

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 8:03 am
DaintyDime6
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05/28/2011
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Lol. this is why we didnt have open mike thing. My husband wanted it but i wore him down and thank God we did! I dont like going to weddings and sitting there through all those speeches.


So basically we had the MOH, the Best Man and the 2 mothers do a speech. In total speeches were over in 15 minutes. Perfecto! Short, Sweet, to the point.

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 8:05 am
ajbwedding85
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lol no way... 3 hours? that's nuts.


Yea, we said brief toasts... In addition to the 2 best men and 2 MOH's -- it was DH's Aunt (who addressed him during the WHOLE toast, and told me I was lucky to be in his family), and one of my high school buddies, and my older sister.


it was about 20 minutes.


 

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 8:05 am
Maggie.T
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Maggie.T

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Ok good we are all on the same page :)


As far as parents go well...we will be acknowledging parents and our kids who are our wedding party....FI and I are the ones who are planning and paying for our wedding so it's our decision.


We just want our family's and friends to have a good time and celebrate with us and remember our reception as one hell of a good party....lol

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 8:14 am
altonece
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07/30/2011
altonece

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I am concerned about the speeches too. I of course want my MoH to speak and the BMan. I am giving a speeh to my mom. But I want my sister to speak (BMaid) and my dad may want to speak...and then usually the groom does a speech to say thank you. 2,4,6,8,10,12...hmm...would 15 minutes be too long? I don't know. I do feel like the speeches can halt the fun.


Maybe I will keep it to MoHonor, BMan, Dad, Me then Hubby to be. I will let my Sister make a speech at the rehearsal dinner. But then...another 2 minutes...in the whole sceme of things does it matter?


::sigh:: 3 hours I can't even fathom that. I really thought that was an exaggeration...but I guess not. Where was the planner to give people the cut it short signal? Poor thing.

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 8:25 am
Maggie.T
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Altonece - there was no planner....when I say 3 hours I mean I think everyone in the wedding party spoke ALL the family members spoke and even some friends....WTHelloooo


It's great to hear funny stories and all but really if I want to know their whole life stories I will invite them to my house open a bottle of wine and sit back and enjoy their story but at the wedding I just want to celebrate with them and have fun...it was awful and they knew it.... FI acutely receive a text from the groom saying can u grab me a bottle it looks like it's going to be a long night.....lol

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 8:41 am
kjam3
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haha :o) my family and friends wouldn't be able to last that long haha. I would do max 2-4 min per person. People would be exhausted haha. It's all up to you guys for sure :o)

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 9:23 am
jocemae
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10/28/2011
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Wow! 3 hours??? That's insanity.  We have a smaller wedding of about 50 guests so we were thinking about opening it up since we don't have many people that will probably want to speak but we should probably cut it off after hearing this ridiculousness.  

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 9:26 am
dfvalent
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05/14/2011
dfvalent

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ours were MOH and BM and they each were about 2 minutes. tops. 

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 9:32 am
JandDW2011
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07/30/2011
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My sister is doing a toast, FI's best man and my dad!

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 9:44 am
Keholmes
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11/18/2011
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Sadly, this happens more often than I thought it did.  I work for a catering company and therefore get to see so many weddings and I can't tell you how many times our timeline has been pushed back for the night because people just KEEP TALKING.  We will just be having MOH, Best Man, and Father of the Bride.

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 5:26 pm
LaurenCabbage
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06/09/2012
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We are only going to do MOH, Bestman, and us...and maybe a family speech instead of doing his and our families, it will be from both!


Yeah after 3+ hours, I probably would have left...lol

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 5:31 pm
DreamingOfYou
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12/31/2011
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Wow, over three hours, that is ridiculous.  I agree with Lauren,  I would have left too.  I cannot sit that long without hurting so I would have had a legitimate excuse.  LOL

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 6:19 pm
mrsHtobe
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11/06/2010
mrsHtobe

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We had 4 people give a speech. 


My dad's speech was longish but was amazingly well prepared and put together so it really was entertaining to our guests. The 2 best men were super funny and their speeches were not long. They also kept our guests entertained and not bored...


And my DH's speech was straight from the heart and made everyone melt with it's true sincerity. He represented us both when thanking specific people and then went on to say how amazing it was to be married to me, that I was the love of his life and that he couldn't live without me. He gave a heartfelt thanks to both sets of parents, thanking his for his upbringing and mine for raising his wife to be perfectly (and of course for allowing him to have me)!. There were many a tear shed by our guests...


We had it all, truly funny real stories about the bride and groom, funny jokes, sentimental stuff. Our crowd voluntarily comented on how good our wedding was because of the speeches. It also worked because we had a very intimate wedding (only 60 adults including the bridal party etc), so everyone knew us VERY WELL. So all the stuff in the speeches made sense to everyone there.


So it all comes down to how well the speeches are done and who is listening to them. 


I would say NO to an open mike....that gets messy and boring because noone is prepared properly.


Choose who you want to give a speech. Tell them way in advance so they can prepare (google is amazing at teaching how to do a good speech!) and give them a time limit. That way they will be rehearsed at home and all ready to go. 


Like you said speeches make or break a wedding (3 Hours!!! huh???).....but they truly made ours. 

Posted on July 20, 2011 at 10:59 pm
Maggie.T
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I have been to a lot of weddings where speeches are not as long and are very funny at times but I find that the people you invite are people you have known for a very long time and some what know everything about you. It is a lot of fun to hear stories about when you were growing up but it takes away from the celebration and making memories of that day.  I want people leaving and saying wow that was a great party! Not wow was that ever boring :(

Posted on July 21, 2011 at 1:59 am
NicoleJuliette
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11/12/2011
NicoleJuliette

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Ugh I've been to weddings like that too and Fi and I both agree the only speech is his brother my FBIL and his Best Man and we're limiting him. not sure on the time yet but FI says 30 seconds lol. 

Posted on July 21, 2011 at 2:27 am
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