Stupid Question Thread

We used to have one of these threads in the main forum for wedding planning, so I thought I would add one here -- just in case anyone in our group has any questions they might otherwise be afraid/hesitant/embarrassed to ask. No question is too small or "stupid" since most of us are new at all this :-) 


I have a couple questions to start it off! 


1) An acquaintance gave me a bag of maternity clothes (gently used) when we first announced our pregnancy. Do you return maternity clothes to the person who gave them to you? I assumed they were on loan, but for some reason now I'm not sure if I am supposed to return them. 


2) What are your thoughts on crib bumpers? Everything I read says they are not recommended for safety reasons, but every time I see a photo of a real life nursery -- friends, FB, product reviews, etc. -- they all have bumpers in their cribs. What do you guys think? 

Posted on February 18, 2013 at 11:06 am
msdl
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KiwiGoBride
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I personally left the bumpers in the crib until my DS started really moving around.  Then I switched to the breathable bumper type because I was still worried about him getting his limbs stuck in the slats.  (which he did one time anyway and it was AWFUL.)  I will probably do the same thing with baby number 2.


My sis in law gave me maternity clothes and I just assumed she didn't want them back.  She says she's done having babies.  We'll see. 

Posted on February 18, 2013 at 1:18 pm
AuntTate
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Omg, I had the same thought about the maternity clothes thing haha.  I got some shirts from a co-worker, which I know I'll give back to her after I'm done with them because I know she isn't done having babies yet.  My other friend that gave me pants, I won't return but that's because she's done having kids.


We haven't even thought of a crib bumper haha.  I dont know if my mom will make one to match our bedding or what.  I can see why they would be needed when they start to move more.


It's funny you started this thread though because I swear everytime I see my midwife I open with "I have a question that is probably stupid...."

Posted on February 19, 2013 at 1:11 am
kblove
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Love this thread :)  2 of my friends load me maternity clothes and I will be giving them back to them at the end of the pregnancy along with a thank you note.


In terms of a crib bumper...here is the way I see it:


Fashion-thinking vs. safe thinking.  Are they probably okay?  Sure.  But guaranteed safety trumps a cute nursery any day for me.  Plus, they are super expensive.  One less cost you don't have to worry about.

Posted on February 19, 2013 at 10:07 am
pavez19
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Debbie, I'm having the same question but about baby cloths...A friend of mine gave us a tone of baby cloths and I wonder if I'm supposed to give it back to her afterward? She's not planning on any other baby but stil...


As for crib bumper, I'm no help here. Didn't give it a thought yet..

Posted on February 19, 2013 at 10:38 am
msdl
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Thanks so much for your responses, ladies! 


I think I will probably do what you suggested, kblove. Return the maternity clothes with a thank you note. Even if she is not expecting them back, that just seems like the polite thing to do! 


I also agree with you on the bumpers. I just wasn't sure if I was being overly cautious, because I had ruled them out but I was still seeing them everywhere. I will just blame it on my inner cheapskate ;-) 


 

Posted on February 19, 2013 at 11:42 am
kristinkay
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I made bumpers for my DD's room but took them out before she was ever even in her crib. We used the breathable ones once she started moving and then took those out when she was trying to crawl out. She would sleep with her leg hanging out of crib and was always fine.

For maternity clothes I would ask. I had one person offer me some clothes and I thought they were just being passed around and so I wasn't worried about stains and such and then she asked for them back and I was so thankful I hadn't tossed any because some were totally not my style. I had another mom offer me all her clothes and say she was done so I knew she didn't want them back. People are weird about this stuff. I would assume baby clothes did not need to be returned but who knows? Maybe ask just in case, although I have no idea how you would be expected to keep track of all those little mini clothes in order to return them.
Posted on February 19, 2013 at 1:02 pm
MRS.H.2B
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I have a stupid question! : ) Do you ladies plan on using a crib made out of wood, or one that is made out of iron. I REALLY REALLY want this crib from Restoration Hardware Baby (that is iron), but I have my concerns about the head & foot board being to "hard", and the baby might hit his/her head. But, I guess that a wood one would be just as "hard"... I don't know.. what do you ladies think? 


http://www.rhbabyandchild.com/catalog/product/product.jsp?productId=rhbc_prod379133&categoryId=rhbc_cat355071


What do you ladies plan on purchasing/using for your little bean?


For the maternity clothes, I would probably try to return them, and see how it goes. She might let you keep them based on the fact that she isn't having any more kids, and doesn't want to keep them. But, everyone is different, so she might want them all back....


As far as the bumper goes, I'm in the same boat as most of you ladies, I haven't even thought about it! But, if I was forced to choose, I would probably go with the breathable bumper : ) HTH!

Posted on February 20, 2013 at 7:58 am
_MNM
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Posted on February 20, 2013 at 9:44 am
milkgal
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Deb- I agree, I'd probably give back the clothes. I have a feeling by the time your done with them you'll want them out of the house anyway :) We are also passing on the bumper and using a breathable one.


Mrs.H- That crib is super cute! Iron does seem like it be a lot harder for the baby to hit than wood but I'm not really sure how often babies hit the crib?


Murph- I'd go get the BW done. I think mine tested for 30 different things? I procrastinated in getting mine done to. I remember they ended up taking 5 or 6 vials of blood and the nurse was not gentle! 




Now for my question! Is anyone else planning on taking makeup with them to hospital? I have horrible, horrible skin and have not had my picture taken without makeup for at least 10 years. DH says I'm crazy to even consider bringing it but I'm really self conscious of people seeing me without at least foundation. 

Posted on February 20, 2013 at 2:59 pm
msdl
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@Mrs.H: That crib is gorgeous! I can't imagine that the materials (iron v. wood) would make too big a diiference for potential bumps. But maybe teething time could be a concern? I don't know if babies bite down on their cribs, but I feel like I have read something about that somewhere!

@Laurie: I would still get it done! I agree with Jen -- for me it was several vials of blood and they tested for tons of things. I don't think it is too late at all.

@Jen: You are not a freak, I think about that all the time! I wish I was naturally cute in photos, but I hate the way I look w/o makeup. I will definitely be taking mine with me! :-)
Posted on February 20, 2013 at 4:21 pm
AuntTate
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DH's one cousin wouldnt let anyone take pictures of her until she had a chance to freshen herself up and get "picture" ready.  Let's face it, we all know we're going to look like hell, no need to have it confirmed via photo haha.

Posted on February 21, 2013 at 12:47 am
CheekyMar
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@milkgal!!! I am hoping I can throw on a face before I go to the hospital & then try to freshen up in between (I am sure I sound so dumb to moms that have given birth... lol). But I am THAT girl that likes to look put together regardless of the occasion. I am actually planning on getting eyelash extensions towards the end of my pregnancy, because I cannot imagine wanting to get dolled-up everyday in the last few weeks. I get them ever so often & LOVE them when I have them. They make my life so easy when getting ready in the morning. Plus I think they would be great for when the baby first comes home. I KNOW me, and I know that I will be too tired to put mascara on, but will undoubtable dwell on it when visitors come over & want to take pics.


@MNM - Go get your BW done woman! I got a TON of vials taken for my "OB PANEL". But if they give me another BW script, I certainly will go :) I have to get my thyroid checked quite often since I had an issue pre-pregnancy. I didnt know that your thyroid changes during pregnancy...

Posted on February 21, 2013 at 9:39 am
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Posted on February 21, 2013 at 12:06 pm
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I'm glad I'm not the only one planning on taking makeup! 


Murph- I go to a midwife, but each visit is maybe 15 minutes. I get weighed, my BP taken and pee in a cup then the midwife comes in and checks the baby's heartbeat and asks if I have any questions. 


I believe at my next appointment (36w) she'll start doing vaginal exams and they'll be every week but I'm not 100% sure. 

Posted on February 21, 2013 at 12:42 pm
msdl
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@MNM: Totally agree with Jen -- so far my four-week appointments have been pretty short and uneventful! Aside from the u/s appointments, there is just never a lot to discuss. They take my weight and BP and I have only had to give a urine sample once! We discuss how I'm feeling, they ask if I have any questions, listen very quickly to the baby's heartbeat, and that is it. Poor DH -- I had to tell him the u/s appointments were the exception, not the rule. He was crushed! :-) 

Posted on February 21, 2013 at 1:15 pm
kristinkay
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I took makeup to the hospital but after 27 hours of labor I was a mess and I absolutely did not have the energy to put more on or freshen up or anything before photos were taken and I could have cared less. I think I put some on the next day after I showered but one thing to think about is that you will be kissing your newborn baby and you probably don't want chemicals from your makeup or anything with perfume touching them so now would be a good time to start looking at all natural makeup. One thing I did last time that was good was that I bought new things of my makeup as I was sure I wouldn't be going to sephora anytime soon and my dh couldn't buy makeup to save his life and then I packed the almost gone ones in my hospital bag.

And your midwives and OBs should be checking for baby's heartbeat and measuring you to make sure your uterus is growing on schedule. They usually do the pee test too to look for early signs of other issues. My midwives have a list of things they want to talk about at each appointment, like nutrition, newborn screening tests, GD test, gbs test, etc. and those take up some time. I don't generally have questions but we chat and it ends up being an hour each time. My first time with my DD quick appointments and I like this much better- we usually talk about tests coming up so that I have a while to process it before making the decision about what I would like to do.
Posted on February 21, 2013 at 2:39 pm
AuntTate
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@MNM  The appointments are almost a pain to go to because they are only like 15 mins.  The midwives I see it's just like milkgal said, blood pressure, weight, pee in this cup, any questions, see ya haha.  If DH or I have ever had any questions though they've never rushed me out, they've always answered any that I've had so sometimes it is nice to know it's get in and get out.

Posted on February 22, 2013 at 1:35 am
dorkmeetsnerd
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@MNM:   In my first trimester, my appts with the firstOBwere a bit long, 45-60 mins each.  We would discuss nutrition, screening tests, etc.  She gave me a list of things to eat and not eat, do and not do, plus book recommendations.  By the second trimester, things were smooth sailing and my appts with my newOBwere short after the initial meeting, about 15 mins for a routine check up (baby measurements, heartbeat, pee, etc). 


It wasn’t until I reached 27 weeks and took my childbirth preparation class that I started to be a bit proactive with my appointments.  The class introduced many topics that I should be discussing with myOB.  So in this last trimester, I do prepare some questions for myOBfor each appt, such as what he thinks of cord blood banking?  Does he allow for delayed cord clamping?  If my water breaks before labor starts, what’s his protocol for that situation?  Wait awhile at home for labor to start naturally or come in to the hospital immediately?  OBs are different about these things.  And he’s pretty friendly and glad to have these questions.  I don’t think he has the time to run though a list of topics that I should be thinking about nor do I have the time to wait for him to ask me.  But I do feel more comfortable and prepared when we do talk. 


So right now, your appts may have been short but as you move further along and start reading up on the process, I’m sure you’ll have more to discuss with your OB. 

Posted on February 22, 2013 at 1:53 am
dorkmeetsnerd
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here's a stupid/ tmi question: do you groom yourself "down there" as your due date approaches?  I figured I'll be having an audience when the time comes so I'm wondering if or should I, um, make myself more presentable?  ha!

Posted on February 22, 2013 at 1:56 am
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@DMN - Haha!  Yes, I did and it was fun let me tell ya!  I also shaved my legs and the nurse made a comment that I had nice soft legs and that must ladies don't shave their legs (ew!).  My son was born on the winter so it makes sense to not shave your legs but still!

Posted on February 22, 2013 at 3:02 am
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