Survey - prenup?

I know I know, this always sparks controversy. I was just reading the current Town & Country article on women and finance and they were talking about it. Anyone here have particularly strong feelings one way or another?
Posted on February 11, 2008 at 1:06 pm
champagnecholly
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champagnecholly

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(12) Comments

iklein
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07/26/2008
iklein

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yes. i told my fiance that if he put a prenup in front of me, i would call off the wedding. heres the way i look at it.

asking for a prenup means that the person has some thought in the back of their head about the marriage not working out and want to protect themselves from loosing money. if they have those thoughts now, they shouldnt be getting married. a marraige is based on love and trust, not on money! i hate the idea interelly

on the other hand: if myself, a 22 year old girl,was marrying a 82 year old billionare, then i will have no problem signing one because the intentions of the marriage are not honest ones.


yuck!
Posted on February 11, 2008 at 1:10 pm
theDame
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Before my FI and I got engaged; I brought it up. I own property and I always felt that if I married someone who did not own property also; I would want the property I purchased before marriage to be protected. my FI's assets are much greater than mine so of course, he was very happy that I brought it up.

After we got engaged, I brought it up again and he said "maybe it's not necessary" it's never been brought up since. I thought about it after we got engaged and suddenly, it didn't matter as much. I think I might have been a bit sad if we did go thru with getting one. There is not a single case of divorce in my family. And I don't anticipate my relationship dissolving either.

BUT- life is long and things change. Not all marriages last. I understand the necessity and the reality. I think they should be fair but I don't think they are "wrong".

I know a very rich guy who has been married to a much younger woman for 15 years who does not work. When they met he had money and he did not ask for a pre-nup. I told him I thought that was crazy and he said the greatest thing " I don't want it to be easy to get out of. If we get a divorce, it should be difficult" in other words, it should not be easy to dissolve any marriage, thus perhaps making people take marriage vows more seriously.
Posted on February 11, 2008 at 1:36 pm
briannie
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I can see why people get pre-nups... even if you're in it for the right reasons. About half of all marriages fail, so there's a 1 in 2 chance that your marriage would fail, as well-- even if you're in love now and can't imagine anything like that happening. But think about it... do you think that all couples who divorce KNEW that they were going to? Probably not, or else they wouldn't have gotten married to begin with.

As of right now, we aren't getting a pre-nup. I don't know what I'd do if the question was brought up, though.
Posted on February 12, 2008 at 5:19 am
PunkRockWedding
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PunkRockWedding

I think it's foolish not to get a pre-nup. It's like insurance for your marriage. When you get health insurance you don't necessarily think you're going to end up in the hospital with a life threatening illness and massive bills, but if it does happen it's nice to be covered. With the current divorce rate you have to at least acknowledge it's a possibility.

Marriage is NOT just about love and trust. It's a business transaction. Always has been, always will be. If it was just about love and commitment, you wouldn't need to get the government involved, would you? Skip the marriage liscense and just stay together in a commited relationship.
Posted on February 12, 2008 at 5:27 pm
kittnmouse
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08/29/2007
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great quote, thedame.
Posted on February 12, 2008 at 5:58 pm
margaret
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09/22/2007
margaret

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I can see why in certain cases someone would want a pre-nup. Joe and I never got one though, and neither of us ever mentioned pre-nup.
Posted on February 13, 2008 at 5:52 am
JuneBride2008
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06/29/2008
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FI and I talked about this recently and decided that we would get one, but only for the money he has that his mom intrusted to him. His own savings and my student loans are being left out of it. If he wants to marry me I think he should trust me enough to know that in the unlikely event that we divorced I would be fair and civil to him. That being said I'm not against anyone else's ideas about the issue..
Posted on February 13, 2008 at 5:56 am
*Wil*
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03/25/2008
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I think it really depends on your situation and life stage. Where we are right now, it doens't really matter. Neither of us really have assets, though we both have bright futures. If we grow a large fortune or real estate ownership I think that is worthy of a 50/50 split. Even if he was the "bread winner". He will likely have gotten where he was because of my support and decisions we have made together.

If this were a second marriage...I think everyone needs protection which is a very sad statement. As previously stated 50% of marriages fail.

I think it also depends on the laws in your state.
Posted on February 13, 2008 at 6:57 am
emssk8s
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04/11/2008
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I agree with Soon2bWilcox. It depends on your situation and life stage. I see the need and I have talked with several friends going through the process and its merely the business end of the wedding. My FI has separate property and that will always stay in his name so we didn't worry about that although I have explained the significance. We have examined both sides and have decided not to get one but I would suggest getting one to anyone who has some assets.

You can't put emotion into this. I look at it as security just like when you have kids you will write a will to make sure things get divided the way they should.
Posted on February 13, 2008 at 8:03 am
MrsTongToBe
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06/28/2008
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We won't have one. I can see why some people would- it makes sense if you have separate property or assets. Since we are young we've accumulated everything of worth together, so there really isn't a need for a prenup.
Posted on February 13, 2008 at 8:05 am
Chica
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08/10/2008
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Although my FI has 2 properties and I have 1, we are not getting a pre-nup. I agree w/stbw, if this is your 2nd marriage, it may be worth it to protect your assets.
Posted on February 13, 2008 at 9:29 am
briannie
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PunkRockWedding-- love the health insurance policy analogy.

I think it's funny how we're OK w/ having a pre-nup for a 2nd marriage but not a 1st... because obviously your 1st marriage ended, which is why the 2nd one is even happening.
Posted on February 13, 2008 at 1:55 pm

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