the great power struggle

I'm new by the way =)


Is anyone else having a power struggle with MIL?! It seems like she wants to be more "in control" since we got married. I constantly feel like I'm being manipulated by her. For example, she will call DH to plan dinner and sometimes if DH says no, she will call me to ask. Then when we do go over, she says "dinner at 5, comeover around 2:30." then dinner is late...always. She also likes to watch tv before dessert, then the whole time she's trying to convince us to stay the night. WTH?! How old am I?


 


ok, so here is the latest issue. SHe wanted to go shopping and get lunch one day. I suggested pedicures and lunch since I'm not confortable shopping with her, last time I went shopping with her she basically told me what I HAD to buy. We agreed to meet somewhere (still a 45 min drive for me, 30 for her) and made a date then she cancelled so we recheduled for july 11th. Then she wanted to do Dhs and FILs bday dinner on the 10th, a couple weeks later dhs cousin invited us to her daughters 1st bday party. So we decided to go over to MILS after the bday party and I told MIL that it's too hard for me to do pedicures on sunday since we will be down in her area all day saturday, we literally will be leaving the house at 9:30 and returning around 10).  Mil then emailed me to tell me that the pedicure place is closed on sundays, how bout a sat. I responded saying saturdays arent good, dh and I have acupuncture and dont get done til a little before noon. I also made a point to ask which pedicure place she choose cuz most are open on sundays, and I found a few that were definetely open. She emails me back asking if I want to do pedis and lunch this sunday. The place she goes to is closed on sundays, but maybe we could meet half way?


I know I'm very sensitive but it feels like my needs aren't being listened to. Dh wants me to be myself, but how can I when I feel like she isn't listening to me and just wants what she wants. I mean, we are going to be down there all day saturdays, how am i suppose to get any work done if I spend sunday down there too? ugh, seriously, I know I'm probably over reacting. Tell me I'm not alone, and I'm not crazy?! It seems like ALL the little things over the last 5 years are adding up!!

Posted on July 6, 2010 at 10:13 am
jess143
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jess143

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(5) Comments

prbetsi75
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05/08/2010
prbetsi75

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So sorry you're going through this.  Does she live alone?  Sounds like she's lonely and is just looking for excuses to see you both and keep you around as long as possible.   


I'm confused about the Sun/Sat pedicure issue since first you said Sun was bad, so she suggested Sat, but you said Sat wouldn't work either....so she went back to Sundays and when she said her pedicure place was closed on Sundays you said, "I also made a point to ask which pedicure place she choose cuz most are open on sundays, and I found a few that were definetely open."  So I don't understand that part?


Fortunately, I have a great MIL...she also lives in Puerto Rico which I'm sure helps our relationship!  lol.  But overall, she never butts in and is in no way controlling.  Maybe you need to let your MIL know that she can't control you.  For example, if you go shopping with her and she tries to tell you what you have to buy, make it a point not to buy it, explaining that while your appreciate her opinion, you don't want to or don't think its necessary and maybe she'll understand that you can't be controlled? and hence, she will stop trying!  I dunno!  Good luck!

Posted on July 14, 2010 at 7:53 am
prbetsi75
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05/08/2010
prbetsi75

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prbetsi75

*double post*

Posted on July 14, 2010 at 7:53 am
Boricua_Bride
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Boricua_Bride

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Boricua_Bride

I think she still attach to the umblical cord.....

Posted on July 14, 2010 at 12:39 pm
Boricua_Bride
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Boricua_Bride

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Boricua_Bride

before I forget....if she calls you husband to go to her house for dinner and he says NO....then when she calls you be with your man and also say NO....you have plan too (white lie)

Posted on July 14, 2010 at 12:41 pm
jess143
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jess143

jess143

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Oh sorry for the confussion. I couldn't do saturdays but that particular sunday was not good because we were already spending all day sat with her, and I had to reserve time to get things done. Shpending an entire weekend with her is a bit much

Posted on July 20, 2010 at 5:39 am

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