The Worst of Both Worlds....
I am mere weeks out from my wedding and not in the best of places.
I find myself feeling almost stranded in the wedding planning process. My fiance, though well intentioned, is not the most organized of people. He's not (nor has he ever been) detail oriented or understood the value of completing tasks on time. He basically believes that since we have all of our vendors booked that the planning is done. I have tried breaking down his To DO list into small and manageable tasks but he consistently leaves things to the last minute or just not doing them leaving me to pick up the slack.
My bridesmaids, though all good friends, are not in the best place financially, so I haven't been relying on them much because of their many monetary restrictions.
My MOH has been completely and utterly amazing and supportive. She thinks like me and is organized and on top of things, but lately she's been having health issues so I've been avoiding going to her because I want her to focus on getting better.
My FMIL has been trying to be helpful, the problem is she doesn't really have a concept of boundaries-or how to respect them, and neither does her husband. When they get an idea its very hard for them to let go of it, even when my fiance and I have told them nicely that what they've suggested is not what we want. On top of this, they are also well intentioned but very unorganized and terrible at planning, and like their son, usually leave tasks to the 11th hour. They have been very persistant on a few issues which I thought was out of line considering they are paying by far the least for the wedding and their "suggestions" do not pertain to the portions of the wedding they are paying for.
What hurts the most though, is the complete lack of interest my own mother has shown in the progress. I readily admit that I'm a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it, and can sometimes be hard to work with, but my mom has made zero attempt at being a part of the process. I have asked her to participate in two things, and both times she declined for absurd reasons, such as going to the cottage (which she does frequently) and going to a football game. She managed to come out to one florist appointment, but I honestly felt that this was due to feeling guilty for missing other events. She left very abruptly after the appointment, declining an invitation to dinner with me and my fiance she had previously accepted. To be fair I did stop inviting her to events after this, because I felt like an obligation. I really feel that through the whole thing she has done the absolute minimum-just enough to say she did something. To date she hasn't even offered to help with anything on the day of the wedding. After I receieve a call from a friend's mother offering help, I had had enough and confronted my mother. Her response was that I hadn't asked her to do anything. I admitted that I wasn't sure how to approach her for help because she's made it very clear that my wedding is not a priority. She long ago stopped asking me how the planning was going, or how I was holding up. She doesn't even bother to call me any more, she simply fires me over a text message. This is how she told me that her, my Grandma and sister wouldn't be at my house with the photographer for the "getting ready" shots, because she felt more comfortable in HER home. The final straw was last night when she told me she hadn't enjoyed my wedding process at all, as she found it stressful.
So I have one mother who can't be bothered and one who is over staying her welcome. I'm not even sure what to do at this point. I told my mother that if this wedding was a burden that she didn't have to partake in it. Truth be told I don't even want her there now. All of the guests who are coming were people that we wanted there because they had played a supportive part in our lives. We were very conscientious of not inviting people out of pity or obligation, and now I feel like my own mother falls into that category. Sad, but true :(