Tired of the Hypocrisy

I am so tired of the hypocrisy.  One minute people tell you that you can do whatever you want because it is your wedding the next second they tell no you can't do something because it is inappropriate or tacky etc.  I am sooooooo tired of that nonense.  I mean either you truly believe that people should be allowed to do whatever they want or you don't.  Personally, I think that people should do whatever makes them happy.  You want to wear a yellow dress with green spots than do it, you want a Man Of Honor then have one, you want to be married at the Waffle House (pics on youtube) then do it.  I wouldn't though they aren't hurting anyone and should not be told that it is tacky to get married at Waffle House though it is okay to wear a colored dress.  I am not saying that people don't have the right to give their opinions, all I am saying is that they should be consistent.  Either nothing is taboo or it all is.   STOP the Hypocrisy!!!


 


BTW, I feel better now... ;o)


 


 

Posted on November 29, 2009 at 4:04 pm
DreamingOfYou
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(13) Comments

gregsfuturewife
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Haha I know right? I truly believe that other people can do whatever they want because it is their wedding, but myself - I like to follow etiquette and what is appropriate!


And if anyone is asking, umm I assume they must be asking what is appropriate according to etiquette right? Because otherwise wouldn't they just do it, rather than asking if it is ok??

Posted on November 29, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Lilivati
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Generally I've found that people who say "you can do whatever you want" often have a VERY limited idea of what "whatever" could be.  So they're shocked when you come up with something they never considered.  Just break your own path and don't listen to anyone else. :)

Posted on November 30, 2009 at 3:48 am
Niecy
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From another perspective -


I am probobly guilty of this .... but here is why ....


As far as the "type"  of wedding you should have I feel it should be what, where , and when  you want  ..... IMO a wedding should be a reflection of a couple ...if its not its just an expensive party  ... but that is just my opinion ... which I sometimes give when I am asked for it  ....


With that being said -  there are always exceptions to the rule ....


I may respond in contrary to my belief that everyone should have the wedding they want , if I think what someone is  doing is rude ,  ....Most of the time I could care less about etiquette ...and I have no use for the word tacky ,  but Im big on common sense and common courtesy ..... 


Some examples .....


Im a firm believer that having the wedding you want should include being good to your guests ..... they should be fed properly and offered good beverage (even if they have to pay for some of it )  but it should be present ..... this can be done without changing the vibe or theme of your wedding in any instance ..... so IMO it should be a given .......


Another example -  if you want parents and/or in laws or any other part of your family to help pay for it ....i feel this allows them a certain amount of say in what is purchased .... so if this is the case my comments to a related post (i.e. - complaining about your mother in law wanting to pick the menu even though she is paying for it ..etc )  may not seem as though I am telling you to have the wedding you want ..... thats hard for anyone to do if they want someone else to pay for it ....


 


So while I am a firm believer in having a wedding that represents you , or makes you and your FI happy ...... there are those whose circumstances don't allow that or whose ideas could result in guests or family being "put out"  or forced to "put up" with less than desirable conditions  ....so my comments in situations like these may seem hypocritical .... but every situation is different


 

Posted on November 30, 2009 at 5:55 am
LauraSweet
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Niecy, I can honestly say I've never seen you say anything I thought was hypocritical.  Your explanation is good, but I don't think you're one she was referring to.

Posted on November 30, 2009 at 6:58 am
Niecy
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Oh I didn't feel she was directing it towards me .... I just wanted to add a little insight ...some people in life are definitely hypocrites ....but sometimes it's situational ... and the same rules don't always apply .... Just trying to help prevent a little  future frustration ... LOL  :)

Posted on November 30, 2009 at 7:23 am
DreamingOfYou
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Please don't misunderstand I wasn't directing this at anyone in particular just society as a whole.  Also, I agree that every situation is different and factors may influence opinions.  Though it is all good, no worries.  Hugs! 

Posted on November 30, 2009 at 2:13 pm
jaysgirl
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Dreaming, I agree with you, I think that if you say do what you want it should be WHAT YOU WANT! Even if they don't its your wedding SO IT SHOULD STILL BE WHAT YOU WANT! LOL. Good luck hunny! ;)

Posted on November 30, 2009 at 2:56 pm
miss_em2010
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I know what you mean Dreaming and ditto Niecy!!!


It sucks when people have opinions on "silly" things - like what type of shoes you want to wear, or what type of invitations you want, a certain song your want played etc. etc. So annoying!! WHO CARES?


However, I 100% agree with Niecy when she says that having the wedding you want should include being good to your guests - very important! I don't know your particular sitch, but I feel alot of brides can forget this very easily....

Posted on November 30, 2009 at 3:07 pm
jaysgirl
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That is very true what neicy said, and she did give me good advice about how if you don't incorporate you and your FH into the day that it is just a big expensive party, and I agree.

Posted on December 1, 2009 at 1:57 am
Niecy
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Dreaming - I totally got what you were saying and no one took it personally .... just wanted to offer my perspective ..because at times I have actually felt a little bit like a hypocrite because I am one of the biggest advocates for having the wedding you want .... but in some cases I have put a differeing opinion out there because I would hate to see one of my PW pals do something that would be inconsiderate or offensive


As for all the people in life who offer their opinions on your day without you even asking .... just smile and nod and then forget whatever they said ... LOL  :)

Posted on December 1, 2009 at 2:05 am
midnyteblue110609
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ditto Niecy!  i am all for doing your wedding the way your FI and you want as long as it doesn't inconvience your guests and your family.  there are so many situations where i see a bride behaving in a way or doing something a way she really shouldn't and it takes everything in me not to scream, WAKE UP!  i understand the phrase but it doesn't always work in all situations, lol.  i always give my honest opinion if someone asks for it.  if my opinion is not asked i go on my merry way. 

Posted on December 1, 2009 at 2:21 am
jaysgirl
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Hey Dreaming, follow my great grandmothers advice: (she was a smart lady, always knew what to say)


 


"Nod your head in approval and then turn around and do whateverthe heck you want"


 RIP Great Grandma.

Posted on December 1, 2009 at 2:09 pm
d1rtymart1n1
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there is a difference between doing what you want and doing what makes sense ...


sometimes when I say "do what you want, it's your wedding" -- I really mean to say "do what you feel is right within reason"  ...  some people here just do things that dont make sense - which is why there is sometimes a difference ya know?


let's be real - we all hold judgements, fair or unfair, that is the truth...


but our opinions should not matter as much as the bride & groom's - after all they know their family and guests more than we do... nonetheless, i still like to use common sense and etiquette whenever possible...  and whenever i am asked, i am always a proponent of some kind of hosted bar - even if it's just beer & wine for guests... 


i'd rather see someone spend more money on food and beverages versus buying uplights or chair sashes; if you need to cut back, cut out STDs, plate chargers, candy buffet/favors, etc...     


i think people get caught up in everything they see on tv and other websites, but they lose track of what's important - a good dinner and hosted bar... guests will remember those things, not what the aisle runner looked like, or if you had monogram stickers on stuff ya know?


i'd tell brides to get down to basics for sure...


 


 

Posted on December 11, 2009 at 7:24 pm

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