UGHH! When do I meet the baby mama?

 Let me give you all a little background. My FI baby mama had their daughter call him on father's day after he has not seen her in 2-3 years!  I was happy but like wow why now? I mean he has been through the friend of the court trying to see if the can help, no response but their on time with taking child support! LOl!  He pays for her med,dental, vision and shes on his life insurance policy. For a while I was like what is wrong with this chic because there is alot of women who don't get half of the support she receives! (sigh) So he's been seeing her (baby mama) and his daughter now couple of times by themselves and once with his parents but the majority of the time just them.  When is it my turn? It seems like she's trying to see where she can fit in because she knows we are getting married. When he mentioned it to her us meeting (via speakerphone) she didn't sound too thrilled LOL!  Hmm! I'm not sure if I should feel annoyed but I do! OK Im done venting!!!

Posted on July 14, 2010 at 1:13 am
sparkles23
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07/30/2011
sparkles23

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(6) Comments

thenewmrs.elepano
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06/25/2011
thenewmrs.elepano

thenewmrs.elepano

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thenewmrs.elepano

Yeah you should definitely be annoyed.


I told my FI after the first six months (and an argument later) that we needed to meet. There was no way that I was going to be shelling about big bucks for a child that I didn't know anything about. I mean I went the whole nine yards to make sure that she had a good Christmas and I didn't even know her.


We talked...


You have to express yourself to your FI, it's important that he understands that there is no way that you will contribute to a child that you've never met. It's also important that the mother of the child knows that you aren't going to do anything to her child. Unlike in my case where the mother knows that I won't do anything but continously makes up in her own delusional head that I'm a crazy person. If you two are getting married then it's imperative that she meets you whether she likes it or not, so that she can feel you out.


It will take some bending on both of your parts to get this done. He may feel that you're jealous of the time that he spends with her without you, I know my FI assumed that nonsense until I broke it down that he needed to get a grip, that this is a child, that will be my step child and I want her to get to know me and vice versa.

Posted on July 14, 2010 at 4:21 am
Linzee
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11/20/2010
Linzee

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Linzee

Sorry that you are going through this drama. I don't think that it's bad that you are feeling annoyed. 


She should really put forth an effort to meet you. Afterall you are marrying her child's father, so essentially you are not just going to be there until the child is 18, but forever. Why don't people understand this?


Hang in there and hopefully she will come around! =)

Posted on July 14, 2010 at 4:48 am
sparkles23
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07/30/2011
sparkles23

sparkles23

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sparkles23

Thank u! 

Posted on July 14, 2010 at 6:49 am
hmz819
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04/16/2011
hmz819

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hmz819

I think you have a right to meet his child and soon.  You are getting married and will be a part of both of their lives.  Good Luck!

Posted on July 14, 2010 at 9:48 am
2nd_tymebride
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04/01/2013
2nd_tymebride

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2nd_tymebride

I agree with the rest of the ladies, you need to meet them both.  In my opinion the BM should want to meet you, after all you will be a part of her daughters life helping raise her.

Posted on July 14, 2010 at 11:21 am
sparkles23
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07/30/2011
sparkles23

sparkles23

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sparkles23

I agree with all of you ladies and I hope she's willing to bend a little. I don't want to be the only one breaking or bending my back because its going to set off bad vibes and Im sure their daughter will pick up on that. (sigh) Thanks guys

Posted on July 14, 2010 at 11:39 pm

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