Unsupportive Parents

I got engaged in March and am getting married in October of the same year. My mother thinks it is just unheard of to get married six months after getting engaged. My parents never voiced any concerns at all to me regarding my fiance. We get engaged and all of a sudden they've got nothing good to say about him at all.  Darts have been thrown between my fiance and my Dad ever since my Dad jumped all over my fiance because I'm moving to where my fiance lives. My parents are totally disregarding my feelings and my mother hasn't even told me one Congratulations or that she was happy for me. My parents don't metion my wedding much less ask about my plans. When they do it's starts an arguemnt and I end up in tears. I've been planning my wedding behind my parents backs because it just starts an argument when it comes up. My parents don't even tell people about my engagment and even asked the preacher to pray for them because I was engaged.  I'm serioulsy considering leaving home now instead of waiting til I'm married.  How do I make my parents see that this is my life, my decision and if they don't like it and can't be supportive they need to butt out??...Oh yea...my mom guilt tripped me into letting her pay for my dress...wedding is in 5 months and she hasn't mentioned the first word about ordering it.  Little does she know, jokes on her because I went and ordered and paid for it myself! This situation is killing me and my fiance! HELP!!!!

Posted on June 8, 2012 at 1:39 pm
packgurl
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10/27/2012
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(5) Comments

monche
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05/26/2012
monche

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monche

I am sorry you are going through this..it must be really hard specially during this special moment for you. There is nothing wrong in getting married 6 months after the wedding, actually that's how I wanted mine to be but because of booking at our church we did it after only 9 months instead. I would suggest to be strong and do your thing! eventually when you get married and your parents realize how happy you are they will accept your fiance...I know you may want it to be right away but give it time...for some parents its harder to let go of their little girls and they don't know how to react. Stay positive and strong and you got us girls here in PW to help and support you with whatever you may need! hugs!

Posted on June 8, 2012 at 2:59 pm
darkstar17
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08/24/2013
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Everything monche said!


My FI and I are planning our wedding without his parents input. We'd love to have them involved, but as it stands that isn't going to happen yet. So we're just going to do our own thing, send them an invite and let them know they're more than welcome to be there. If not, then they're missing out. Not us. I know it's easy for us to say "be happy" but all you can do is be happy. 


You're getting married, girl! 


We're here for you if you ever need to talk, rant, or brag!

Posted on June 8, 2012 at 11:57 pm
chrissyrenaegray
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03/10/2012
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chrissyrenaegray

Have you asked them why they are having such an issue with it?  Is it only because you're getting married six months after you got engaged?  As far as asking for prayer because you're engaged, that's not necessarily a bad thing.  I had lived with my grandparents and in many ways had taken care of them for many years before I was engaged, and my pastor's wife sought me out a few months before the wedding to let me know that she was praying for them and their transition as I got married.


I think it's important to sit down and talk with them about why they are so upset, and try to stay level-headed even when they don't want to be.  It could be that they're scared about losing you, especially in six months (which isn't very long), and this is how they're reacting.  If this is the case, reassure them that they are not losing you, and maybe set up ways to get together.  If they're still unwilling after this conversation, then move on with your planning.

Posted on June 9, 2012 at 12:52 am
pavez19
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07/14/2012
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pavez19

I agreed with what the other ladies said. It must be really difficult for you to see your parents acting like this but there must have a reason they're doing this (I'm not saying this is necessary a good reason). Every parent likes his child and I'm sure they just want you to be happy in their way....They might be afraid of loosing you so fast and are acting weird because of this, no? 


Anyway, I guest the best thing to do would be to sit with them again (I'm pretty sure you already tried this), maybe whitout your fiance and just talk to them as Moore suggests. Hope everything is going to be fine :S. Hugs!

Posted on June 9, 2012 at 2:05 am
packgurl
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10/27/2012
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It wasn't that they asked prayer that upset me, but they're not asking it for my benefit...you know, for a happy prosperous married life. They're asked it because they are trying to stop my wedding and they think they are the victims. My mother is a manipulator and both my parents have controlled me through fear my whole life. They haven't been abusive so it's not that kind of fear, but they find fault with every decision a person makes except for their own. They don't want me moving, and believe me I hear it everyday. Their newest thing is trying to get me to buy this place right down the road from them. It's like they don't get I'm leaving and aren't going to give up on stopping it until I'm gone.  I feel like they think if they just ignore the situation it won't happen.  Their little comments hurt and they don't care because they are only worried about getting what they want.  They've even rallied other family members together to be on their side, so as far as my family goes I'm pretty much fighting an uphill battle, and I'm doing it alone. My fiance is obviously supportive, but they don't even listen to the feelings of their own child, so they definitely won't listen to his opinions.  Like I said, they haven't asked what my plans were, it's been all about them and what they wanted since the second I showed the my ring. 

Posted on June 9, 2012 at 6:34 am

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