VENT: FMIL giving us the guilties.

ugh, i'm so annoyed!  FMIL moved to the middle of nowhere ND when she got remarried a few years ago.  they come for visits every now and then for big occassions, but FI and i have not been able to get out (for 2 years of our relationship we were long distance since he was in the marine corps and stationed 8 hrs away from me).  so now that he's a civilian and we're settled in, FMIL wants us to come visit...joy (sarcasm).  when i say middle of nowhere, i mean that she lives on a farm with her closest neighbor living 5 miles away!  meanwhile, i've been working 6 days a week for the past 7 months to get our bills paid...i want...no, i need a freaking vacation! i'm talking beaches and sun, not fields and windmills.


so we have a credit through continental airlines which we can use towards a new flight.  flights to the nearest airport in ND are $800 each...not exactly cheap so that credit would have come in handy.  but continental does not fly to ND, so there's no way we can spend that much money on tickets.  FMIL says "fly to minneapolis and i'll pick you up."  great idea...too bad minneapolis is 7 hours away from where she lives!  noooooooo freaking way will that be possible.  so then she says "fly to minneapolis and i'll pay for a flight the grand forks."  so 2 layovers, 3 planes, a 3 hour drive and one huge headache later, we'll be in farmland paradise...ugh! 


i'm so sick of trying to figure out a way to do this, i told FI to figure it out and tell me where to sign.  if he has to plan it, it will never get done so i have my fingers crossed he says f*$& it, let's go to key largo.

Posted on July 20, 2010 at 8:20 am
haleighb
4
09/25/2011
haleighb

haleighb

  • 4
  • 12
  • 2.1k
301
Followers
305
Following

(11) Comments

ChrisNScott
4
05/08/2010
ChrisNScott

ChrisNScott

  • 4
  • 14
  • 3.84k
142
Followers
146
Following

ChrisNScott

Can she meet you somewhere & you all can sit on the beach together?


 

Posted on July 20, 2010 at 8:24 am
Lalubell
5
09/18/2010
Lalubell

Lalubell

  • 5
  • 19
  • 6.31k
1.19k
Followers
1.19k
Following

Lalubell

Oh wow, that's a LOT to go through for a visit! Can she come to you guys instead?? Maybe that would be easier.. or maybe you can just explain you don't have the $$ right now and can't do it. She should understand if you're working so much to make ends meet! What does your FI think? Definitely put it off on him since it's his mom!

Posted on July 20, 2010 at 8:24 am
babycakes
3
10/10/2010
babycakes

babycakes

  • 3
  • 2
  • 646
2
Followers
6
Following

babycakes

I see sandy beaches in your future!! Good luck!!

Posted on July 20, 2010 at 8:25 am
haleighb
4
09/25/2011
haleighb

haleighb

  • 4
  • 12
  • 2.1k
301
Followers
305
Following

haleighb

she just came out here at the end of june which is part of the reason we don't want to ask her to meet us anywhere, or come back out. and she wants us to come out there to see her house and her new life and blah blah blah.  it's all very sweet, yes, but we just don't have the money!  when FI told her she pulled the "i'm very dissapointed" speach which made us both feel terrible.  i just want to scream "she made the choice to move out there for the exact reason that it's difficult to get to!  we don't need guilties for it!"  FI is kind of stuck in the middle but he knows we don't have the money and it's a very real possibility we will not be able to do this.  i feel bad for freaking out on him about it, but every trip we've taken this year has revolved around him and it has not been a vacation at all.  we went to see his guys off in june and while i did get some beach time in (first time in 2 years) it was just a drunken, babysitting mess for me. and now this headache.  if he wants us to go, he can plan it.  i just better get a vacation SOON!  and it's so not fair because he's been in school the past 6 months, not working and having 3 day weekends!  NOT FAIR!

Posted on July 20, 2010 at 8:33 am
akbridehi
4
07/05/2011
akbridehi

akbridehi

  • 4
  • 11
  • 3.95k
451
Followers
452
Following

akbridehi

I totally understand where you are coming from.  When you have an idea of a certain vacation in mind and then have to change it, it can be very disappointing.  Especially if you don't want to spend the money in the first place!!!  And I hate feeling guilty. 


But, if you have to go - you will still have a relaxing time.  Just get out with your FI and get away from FMIL if you can.  I grew up in rural Wisconsin (1200 people in the whole town) and it is the most relaxing place I have ever found... 


Good luck on whatever happens!!

Posted on July 20, 2010 at 8:43 am
haleighb
4
09/25/2011
haleighb

haleighb

  • 4
  • 12
  • 2.1k
301
Followers
305
Following

haleighb

dont get me wrong akbridehi, i love the country!  but it's just the hassle of getting there is driving me NUTS!  and look how easy it is to get to key largo...direct flight to miami that is available for our credit use, 1 hr drive to key largo, check in at the hotel and...aaahh....

Posted on July 20, 2010 at 8:47 am
_MNM
5
10/01/2010

_MNM

Comment has been removed by Project Wedding due to a violation of our Terms of Use
Posted on July 20, 2010 at 4:46 pm
tiffanysmiranda
3
07/24/2010
tiffanysmiranda

tiffanysmiranda

  • 3
  • 9
  • 503
132
Followers
136
Following

tiffanysmiranda

I'm sorry. I'm with MurphNoMore crossing my fingers :)

Posted on July 20, 2010 at 5:47 pm
aparker1269
5
11/11/2011
aparker1269

aparker1269

  • 5
  • 16
  • 8.17k
357
Followers
359
Following

aparker1269

Why can't just he go out there and you have a girls weekend?

Posted on July 21, 2010 at 4:29 am
my.happy.ending
3
08/07/2010
my.happy.ending

my.happy.ending

  • 3
  • 9
  • 1.83k
54
Followers
58
Following

my.happy.ending

Not to be rude, or be the odd man out, but I don't see the big deal really? Yes, it's "inconvenient" with all the layovers, travel hours, driving etc ... but it's his mother. You only have one mother, you only have one family and before you know it ... she's gone. You have years to go on lavish vacations. That's just my opinion though. I would travel the world for my family (i'm VERY family oriented). I'm the type of person who would drive 8 hours to see my mother on her birthday for 15 minutes and then drive back. That's just me, so maybe my opinion doesn't really apply to your situation.


I understand wanting a vacation somewhere beautiful & warm & beachy, but It's just me to always put my family first. I think my family makes the vacation, not the location.


Sorry I'm not much help to you. However, i hope it all works out and everyone is happy in the end.

Posted on July 21, 2010 at 4:44 am
haleighb
4
09/25/2011
haleighb

haleighb

  • 4
  • 12
  • 2.1k
301
Followers
305
Following

haleighb

i tried to refrain from replying to that one, but i do feel the need to tell you that i did take a bit of offense to it and i do think it was rude.  i don't think i insinuated anywhere that we don't care enough about his mother to go visit her, i just needed to vent because i'm the one who has to plan it and it is a huge hassle, on top of working 6 days a week while FI does not have the same obligations - he can very well plan it, as we have decided he will.  and hell, i just need a get away where i can relax for once.  i appreciate your opinion, but i think there may have been a better way to put it.

Posted on July 21, 2010 at 4:55 am

Have a question? Contact Support
Top Contributors this Week
Canooknic
18 posts
Levisjoe
15 posts
Uhlease
9 posts
zeuster
8 posts
LauraSweet
7 posts
lorna247
7 posts