Vent: I dont really know what to do in this situation.

So these past couple of days have been extremely stressful, and I really dont know what to do. My father is paying for the wedding and  is having an open bar, so we decided on a child free reception. Our site is in the middle of down town and is extremely busy, along with that we have in guests that get extremely stupid when drunk. The children are invited to the ceremony and then we are hiring a babysitter to watch them at our house. One of these children is my Fi baby brother who is seven, we love him but we know he gets extremely bored. When his brother's wedding happened last year he just did laps of the place and cried so he had to be held in between his brother and mother during their dance together .


Well anyway my FI mom found out it was children free reception and flipped. She called us telling us we were Fing stupid and that she wont be coming. She then hung up and called all of my Fi family and told them that we said their children would ruin our wedding. Now the entire family is mad.... What do we do.


My Fi and I decided that we will just cave and allow immediate children but if that's the case my dad wants it to be a dry reception and I know that will be a damper on a few quest that just want to have fun. 


I really love children, don't get me wrong but I thought everyone would have a better time not having to worry about taking care of their kids and get a night off.


Any advice?

Posted on July 21, 2013 at 5:23 am
autumn1325mc
3
06/21/2014
autumn1325mc

autumn1325mc

  • 3
  • 10
  • 579
147
Followers
145
Following

(9) Comments

zeuster
3
11/01/2011
zeuster

zeuster

  • 3
  • 7
  • 1.51k
31
Followers
27
Following

zeuster

Wedding planning tends to bring out the worst in some people. but personally if it was me I would stick to my orginal plan. Is there any way your FI can talk his mother down? If not tell her she will be missed. Would she really miss her sons wedding? She needs to understand its not about her.Especially if she is not the one paying for it. And wouldn't the kids have more fun doing kid things?


Also, if you decide to let the kids come you could do beer and wine.

Posted on July 21, 2013 at 5:45 am
Uhlease
5
09/02/2012
Uhlease

Uhlease

  • 5
  • 18
  • 9.94k
334
Followers
316
Following

Uhlease

Ditto Zeuster! Would she really miss her son's wedding over that? JEez, I'm sorry you're dealing with this stressful situation!!! I don't have any other advice, but to say good luck and send virtual hugs!

Posted on July 21, 2013 at 6:32 am
MOBRIDE72
3
04/25/2015
MOBRIDE72

MOBRIDE72

  • 3
  • 14
  • 1.64k
51
Followers
53
Following

MOBRIDE72

I would say have your FI call and explain it to her. I would alao make sure your other guests are aware of the reason and you are hiring a babysitter
Posted on July 21, 2013 at 12:51 pm
Sammy_D
4
09/10/2011
Sammy_D

Sammy_D

  • 4
  • 16
  • 4k
192
Followers
207
Following

Sammy_D

No, no, no, no. That is wrong on so many levels!!


It is YOUR day and if you want no kids then everyone else will have to suck it up!! You are absolutely correct, if it will be a late night and people will be drinking heavily, that is no place for kids anyway. And you guys are nice enough to provide a sitter - Nothing wrong with that!! That is usually what is recommended if you say no kids because people having trouble finding sitters is usually the major complaint about kid-free receptions.


If your FMIL is throwing a fit over that then I'm guessing she has bigger issues and just latched on to this one. That is not fair to you and FI, your family should be supportive of your decisions regarding your wedding and this is one isn't even slightly unreasonable.


It's absolutely childish for her to have done what she did, and while you shouldn't have to play damage control, it might not be a bad idea to explain to other family members what the real deal is. Or have another trusted family member do it so that at least it doesn't turn into a huge issue. I suspect eventually everyone will see that it is only the one person who has a problem, and I also think most parents would welcome the chance for a free sitter and an evening off to have a good time. I would definitely try to explain all of that politely to your FMIL and see what she says, maybe she was just stressed and had a moment? Not an excuse but worth a shot...good luck and hugs!!

Posted on July 22, 2013 at 2:54 am
autumn1325mc
3
06/21/2014
autumn1325mc

autumn1325mc

  • 3
  • 10
  • 579
147
Followers
145
Following

autumn1325mc

Thanks for the advice guys. As of right now I stepped out of the situation and told my Fi to handle it or I would do something stupid. My FI called her back and she told him if we hate kids so much maybe we should never have any, and hung up. After that I threw in the towel. I have had it with her and my wedding and I dont want to hear another thing she says. Through this entire process she has told is we are stupid on everything we chose. From having five grooomsmen (it was wayyy to many), to how much we payed for flowers and what kind they are (she refuses to wear the mothers corsage because its carnations). So Im done with it, I just hope the rest of the family will come. 

Posted on July 22, 2013 at 4:32 am
MOBRIDE72
3
04/25/2015
MOBRIDE72

MOBRIDE72

  • 3
  • 14
  • 1.64k
51
Followers
53
Following

MOBRIDE72

Definitely sounds like she has more issues than the child free reception. Its sad she has to act this way but I'm sure your wedding will still be beautiful and those most important to you both will be there and support you
Posted on July 22, 2013 at 4:58 am
MrsCaleYoung
5
06/30/2012
MrsCaleYoung

MrsCaleYoung

  • 5
  • 17
  • 6.68k
188
Followers
185
Following

MrsCaleYoung

Oh my goodness! First sending you big hugs and I am so sorry you are going through this! How horrible! We went through something similiar during our wedding. I didn't care if kids came but DH was absolutely against it. So on the invitations, it read, "Adult Reception Immediately following Ceremony." DH family flipped and they were calling me about it. I let him handle it and he caved because their were going to be so many people unable to attend. During the ceremony, my one year old niece cried the entire ceremony. She wanted my sister who was in the wedding and when she saw her walking down the aisle, she flipped out! When I walked down the aisle I was tempted to shake her senseless and place her back on the grass. Lol. During the reception, she got so out of hand that my oldest niece ended up leaving to take her home. Then there were two kids that trashed the bathroom and their parents ended up leaving as well. Most of the people who were complaining showed up and did not have their kids, so it worked out. And as for the open bar, we had one too and it was very controlled because we had a great bartendar!


I will be praying for you and FI and hope your FMIL will come to her senses. That is just terrible and no one wants to be dealing with that!

Posted on July 22, 2013 at 8:16 am
nenyibabs
3
04/20/2013
nenyibabs

nenyibabs

  • 3
  • 14
  • 559
56
Followers
58
Following

nenyibabs

Just leave it as is. then cool down yourself, I promise you, nothing lasts for ever. Let the hue and cry die down, like in a week. Then let FI call his folks and explan why you guys want things the way they are, and that you would really want everyone to honor your decision. Its now up to people to decide wheter to come on your terms or to stay.

Posted on July 22, 2013 at 8:54 pm
jamielinens
1
06/20/2012
jamielinens

jamielinens

  • 1
  • 2
  • 2
2
Followers
6
Following

jamielinens

I am sorry to hear about this and sending hugs your way. Just like what everybody said, try to let the flame cool off a little bit. Days or two weeks before the wedding, maybe the environment is better for everyone. 

Posted on July 23, 2013 at 4:21 am

Have a question? Contact Support
Top Contributors this Week
alyciamarlene
11 posts
shawnelanglais
shawnelanglais
11 posts
krosa
9 posts
Canooknic
6 posts
LauraSweet
6 posts
Lizbeth1989
3 posts