Virginity and Weddings

I know that this day and age it's very common to live with their SO and do everything a married couple with. I grew up in a very traditional family and always felt that marriage was special and sacred (even outside of a religious view point.) before my FI I was in a 5 year serious relationship and we both chose to wait and now my FI has the same values and view points as I do so we have also decided to wait. So that's about 10+ years of choosing to not have sex... So in other words I am a virgin... And so is my FI. I feel a little ackward that at my age were still virgins, because it seems like we're the outsiders, but my close friends think it's awesome we have such will power. (And I can't tell if my parents believe me when I tell them I still am) I mean don't get me wrong, were still intimate to some extent... But we've never had actual sex.

So I guess I'm trying to see if I'm not the only out there? Or if I am (I doubt it to some extent) if I can get any advice from the ladies who may have done it or just advice in general on what to expect, how to make it even more special etc? I just wanted to chat about this and felt safe here because the ladies of PW are awesome.

(Also is it weird that I worry about having picked an ivory dress despite the tradition of white? Even though I'm guessing the white of old days was more ivory just because they don't have all the fabrics and treatments we do today?)
Posted on June 26, 2013 at 3:59 am
Kittywolf13
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02/01/2014
Kittywolf13

Kittywolf13

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Canooknic
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07/19/2013
Canooknic

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Canooknic

Please don't feel awkward about waiting, I think it's great that you and your FI will be each others one and only.

There have been several PW ladies that have waited, I believe there was a thread in the Christian Bride group about it.
Posted on June 26, 2013 at 4:06 am
chrissyrenaegray
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03/10/2012
chrissyrenaegray

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chrissyrenaegray

Have you looked at the DTD group?  The discussion group is meant for topics on doing the deed, and it's a way of making some ladies more comfortable about discussing the topic, as the only ones who can read the post are members of the group.


I think it's awesome that you and your FI have chosen to wait--it is a challenge.  DH and I came into our relationship knowing that we did not want to be intimate until after we were married, and we stuck to that, even though it was very difficult (five years of waiting can be a very long time).  I do want to say that it will be a challenge to you and your FI as well, because as the wedding date gets closer, it seems to be harder and harder to wait, so be prepared for that.  


Also, don't feel bad for wearing ivory; nowadays I think that the color is no longer as significant as it was previously, and you should wear what you like and what you look good in--very few can wear a pure white, and what you may find is that ivory can look very white, especially in some photos.

Posted on June 26, 2013 at 4:08 am
Kittywolf13
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02/01/2014
Kittywolf13

Kittywolf13

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Kittywolf13

Thanks ladies! I was not aware there was a group specifically for advice in that department. Ill have to check it out. :P I haven't really explored the different groups. I've just been looking at the most recent posts. Lol

I'm not feeling that awkward anymore. But for awhile it just seemed that everyone we knew couldn't be having fun if they weren't drinking, having sex or drugs or anything like that. I don't drink or smoke or anything. I often feel boring. Lol I'm happy with my descions but get upset from time to time because I get pressured often because of the mentality of others.

Now that were engaged we don't hang out with too many people. I guess that's common. We stick to our close friends and that's about it. Lol.

But I'm glad I'm not alone. And really the choice to save myself wasn't really religious. My parents always taught me to wait. Their reasoning may have been religious and the fact that I think I'm an oops baby... But it just seemed right to me to wait. To know that the man I've chosen will be the first and likewise. (Not that if he wasn't a virgin I would think any differently.) there's just something special there I think.
Posted on June 26, 2013 at 4:58 am

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