what are you doing differently?

What (if anything) are you doing differently than a traditional wedding? I think my husband and I will walk down together for our ceremony blessing.. but I do want bridesmaids and best men and flowergirls and all that.. even though I read that you shouldn't have a bridal party- blah to that.. and at the reception we're dancing to clint black and lisa hartman *when I said I do* (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoZC0Lkji2A) but I don't think it will be like the "everyone watch the first dance" type thing, more like a dedication to each other and everyone else can dance too.. and I think I want to dance with my dad, because I never got to do that the first time around either, but I don't want that to made a big deal out of either.. and do we cut the cake and all? I just have no idea.. because for us this really is like our first wedding.. we only had 20 people the first time..  and now there's going to be 200.. and with paying so much money I do want to do everything I want to do, I just don't know what's the *norm*.  So I'd love to know exactly what everyone else is planning on doing! Or how it's been if anyone's ever been to a vow renewal ceremony. Thanks! :)

Posted on September 2, 2008 at 12:30 pm
nikkip925
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04/17/2009
nikkip925

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(14) Comments

JustAnothrBridezilla
4
09/13/2008

JustAnothrBridezilla

We already signed our papers so you could say we are married.  We did it on the beach just the two of us and my MOH and his BM.  Now 200 people and we have decided to once again not mention god of any sorts~ we are doing a completely civil wedding!!! its all about family and friends for us :) We are a mix in culture I'm a russian jew who spent most of my life in US and him a bulgarian christian who lived majority of his life in UK but neither practicing our religions.  I want to honor at least 1 thing from each culture.  So in Bulgaria the mother of the groom feeds the bride and groom bread I'm all for that so we are going to do it! The best part of jewish weddings is when you get picked up on the chairs so right before the garter toss we will do that!  Everything else is very standard and american~ the cake cutting, the dances, etc.

Posted on September 2, 2008 at 12:33 pm
TheChicBride
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08/28/2010
TheChicBride

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Hi Nikki...don't worry about what might be appropriate for a Vow Renewal. This is your day and your husbands day. Do whatever you want. You both are renewing your love and commitment to each other. It's a beautiful thing especially when we live in a world that has huge divorce rates.


This is a very special day, so live it up. Go all out if that's what you want. I know we are. :0)

Posted on September 2, 2008 at 12:40 pm
beatie
5
10/11/2008
beatie

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we're not doing many traditional type wedding songs for the ceremony (with the exception of my entrance)...not doing any readings either.  our guest book is a wish tree rather than an actual book.  we're not doing the bouquet toss or garter toss, no receiving line or money dance, and we're doing donations rather than "favors".  oh, and we're having a cigar bar after dinner.  we didn't buy specific cake cutting knives or toasting flutes...just using the knife provided by the venue and using whatever drink we happen to have in our hands at the time! :) 


i think you can do or not do whatever you want at your wedding...that's what makes it YOUR'S and not a cookie cutter wedding. :)

Posted on September 2, 2008 at 12:44 pm
JustAnothrBridezilla
4
09/13/2008

JustAnothrBridezilla

I agree with beatie and chic you have to make this your own.  Do whats in your heart and what is between the 2 of you :)

Posted on September 2, 2008 at 12:46 pm
neebelung
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09/27/2008
neebelung

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neebelung

- I gave my FH an engagement ring (he'll move it to his right hand when we get married, and wear his wedding band on his left)


- We're getting married in Vegas, in a shark reef, rather than a Church or other more traditional venue


- No bouquet toss, and no garter


- We MAY do a warming of the rings (undecided)


- I'm walking down the aisle alone


- We're not having a reception.  We're going to brunch with our families and friends in Vegas, then we'll throw an "after party" here in FL for our friends


- We got tattoos to commemerate both our 4th anniversary (which was a couple weeks ago) and our upcoming wedding (no names, no dates, but something that is similar and that WE know the significance of)

Posted on September 2, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Paddysgirl
3
10/05/2008
Paddysgirl

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The biggest thing is that I'm having my best guy friend walk me down the aisle(my dad died years ago), do a reading with another friend AND stand up for me. Triple-duty.


We're only having two attendants each.


We're not doing a garter toss or bouquet toss.


We're having a "wine bar" with handpicked wines courtesy of my wine-loving FI.


We're doing photos before the ceremony.


 

Posted on September 2, 2008 at 1:36 pm
MissQnomore
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03/14/2009
MissQnomore

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omg neebs fi and i are going to do tats after the day too!!  a first for both of us!


-having anniversary dance instead of garter and boquet
-having uneven wedding party
-no ring bearers or flower girls
-no save the dates
-attempting to have a sundae/brownie bar instead of cake
-have a minimal gift registry with honeymoon registry as majority

Posted on September 2, 2008 at 2:08 pm
kblove
5
07/11/2009
kblove

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I would say by all counts our wedding is relatively tradiational, but with a few twists...


* sand ceremony instead of unity candels


* we are having a pastor marry us, but we are completely writing the entire ceremony, including a "family, friend and guest" vow, ourselves


* uneven wedding party 6-5


* we are using a photojournalisitc approach to photography


* we are going to have a non-traditional first dance, our slow song, and then... salsa!!!

Posted on September 2, 2008 at 2:23 pm
jessiepilot
4
10/31/2008
jessiepilot

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-We're only having 30 guests (just family, all my freinds understood, yeah for great freinds)
-No cake cutting
-No garter toss
-No reception really - no dancing, a nice, candlelit dinner celebration
-Found an officiant who happens to be a minister but like kblovelee we are (meaning mostly me) totally writing the entire ceremony ourselves
-picking non-traditional wedding readings (from books we love, ect)
-having a halloween-themed cake as a surprise for FI (I'm talking black with skulls, not cutesy halloween!!) It's his favorite holiday!
-Getting married on Halloween!
-Mostly non-traditional but my Dad and I are arriving on a horse-drawn carriage (A "must" per my mom!!)
-No one is standing up with us when we get married
-No MOH - just a best man whose only duty will be to throw FI a bachelor party!
-First dance will prob be "Currently" by Keaton Simons and I will be walking down the isle to something that is not the traditional bridal march.
-Photos are being done before the ceremony so we can spend the cocktail hour with our guests
-I got my FI a SECOND wedding band that I will surprise him with during the ceremony and make him repeat the vows with - he looses everything so it's just a matter of time before he looses his ring - I want a backup!! He'll laugh histerically when I whip it out and make him repeat the vows with it!! Seriously - we had to get extra cell phone insurance because he maxes his out every year - if he doesn't jump in the pool with it he washes it in his pants!
Posted on September 2, 2008 at 3:06 pm
j8chan02
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06/20/2009
j8chan02

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We're having the 2 ceremony thing:


CHINESE CEREMONY - which is really traditional (in the Chinese-sense).  FI will have to pick me up at the alloted time and play "games" in order to "get me".  Then we honor my ancestors and we drive to his home and honor his ancestors.  THEN we have the tea ceremony and the reception to follow.


SECOND CEREMONY - more American style but the thing that will be untraditional is:
 - my parents may not be there with me when we do the vow exchanges because we were only going to invite the friends that weren't invited to the Chinese one.

Posted on September 3, 2008 at 6:34 am
champagnecholly
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09/19/2008
champagnecholly

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We have a butt load (pardon my language) of attendants for a really small wedding... we needed six swordsmen plus FI's two best friends from college who are not in the military... soo two will be ushers and yup we have six GM. So then I had to have six BM and they are each picking their own navy colored dress. And yes, our wedding is btwn 50-60 ppl hahaha


No garter


Photos before the ceremony, the one time we are totally bucking tradition for the sake of spending more time with our out of town guests


Our other nontraditional thing is that we had to get married at city hall before the wedding because of circumstances (military) and then we'll have a third "wedding" in Asia with my mother's family which will be more traditional next February.


Bells for the recessional and then a sword arch outside of the chapel


We're giving books as favors


Our first dance is a waltz and yes, we both know how to waltz from our childhoods haha. We practiced the other night and its like riding a bike, it comes back to you!


While a lot of our friends have totally bucked tradition and got really creative, we're really traditionalists at heart. We feel like western civilization is a "has been" in the modern society, which we both feel is very sad and we realize not a lot of people share those views. So a lot of the little things in our wedding are going to be very proper and very traditional and while we realize most people aren't like that anymore, it still means a lot to us. So we're having an old fashioned cake topper, an old fashioned cake flavor, our band is playing music from the 20's through the 40's, we had very classic invitations (some say boring but we loved them) and we're having very traditional day-of activities.

Posted on September 3, 2008 at 6:45 am
Coriannder
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06/25/2009
Coriannder

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This is a great topic...so interesting to see what others are planning.


We are doing a VR with just us- my hubby, myself and our two children.  Then later that night we are hosting a dinner and dessert party with fireworks.  I am undecided about a cake...we may do a cake since I love cake!  No bouquet or garter toss.  In fact, it's going to more of a "let's have a dinner party with friends" then a reception.  I think we may set up an iPod to play music but nothing to really dance to.  After our dessert party we may continue at a piano bar if we want to drink and dance. 


We will be writing our own vows.  We will also be saying vows to our two children...vows stating that we will always be there for them and vowing to be best parents we can be. 


We are getting new rings to celebrate. I plan to wear mine as my wedding band and retiring my original one since it's gold and I don't wear gold.


As for photos, I am opting out of the "getting ready" photos and some other traditonal wedding photos.  I just want ones of the ceremony and a few here and there.  I want fun photos, no stand here, pose and kiss.  Been there, done that.  ;)  We will do video because I want my kids to see the vows we said to them when they are older.


I plan to use things that will have just our last initial, maybe our last name...like for our runner.  I don't want it personalized with a date or our first names because my hope is that one day my boys will use it for their own weddings.  If I leave it with just our last names, they too can use it. 


When it's all said and done and we get back to our hotel room, I may whip out my iPod and play our wedding song...while the kids are fast asleep.  My how times have changed for us! 


That's all I can think of now...


 


 

Posted on September 3, 2008 at 9:33 am
meocuenca
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08/07/2005
meocuenca

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I agree with Chic & Corrainder, it is YOUR wedding, YOUR day, do it in any way that makes your heart jump, your eyes twinkle and your mind relax. 


Corriander is right... great topic!  Personally, I am traditional while my husband in much more modern but we've found our balance.  He's come to fall in love with the idea of a Church wedding (it was always agreed yet I think at first is was more me) and I have come to love the modern appearance of things... so we will do almost everything traditional in terms of schedule, ceromony, receptions etc... such as standard pictures (with the untradional before the ceremony - I want my make to be "fresh"), not to mention I want before pics at the reception site - so that jams us on time... we're having a small  et full bridal party... BM, MOH, GM, BM, Jr. BM, Ring Bearer, Flower Girl, tradional vows with an additional much like Corrainder - we also are doing something special to the kids... traditional reception activity... first dance, parent dance, toast, cake cutting, bouquet & garter toss and favors... what will be different is my dress.... not the huge fancy frilly lace I always thought I'd wear... seems I'm looking more into the sleek white with an accent color strapless a-line... we've picked two colors beyond the black&white attire, a lead color and an accent color.  I'm strumming my brain to pull off a way to make a multi-cultural theme (though our main cultures are the same, I have additional ones that I'd like to incorporate even if just in music or decoration).


And of course the honeymoon... the night may or may not end up "family" style but the kids were sad we eloped in Las Vegas... so we were thinking that our "honeymoon" would be a family trip to Las Vegas...


I say, do as you wish, enjoy your day and be happy ")


 

Posted on October 4, 2008 at 11:20 pm
AmandaC
1
04/05/2008
AmandaC

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The majority of our wedding was non-traditional! I didn't do traditional white/cream/ivory invitations. I did the mint green from paperdivas.com. I loved them! Our ceremony, which was immediate family and 5 of our closest friends, was on the pier over looking the lake. I wore a white sun dress and my husband wore jeans and a button down. We walked down the pier together. We wanted something that represented us, and we're very low-key people, we like things simple, so that's what we did. I'm one of five kids and there was no way I was going to be able to pick a MOH.lol Worked me out of that problem really quick!


 


We had a somewhat traditional reception in which everyone was invited to. We didn't do a tiered cake, but a giant sheet cake that was mint green with fresh daisies all over it. Those are my favorite! We didn't do our first dance by ourselves, but had everyone join us. It was wonderful and I couldn't have asked for more. We did everything how we wanted and things that represented who we are!

Posted on October 5, 2008 at 5:47 am

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