What happens if you are already at your max:?

Okay so here is my situation - our place for MAXIMUM guests is 125, I have it at 120 and really haven't told FI that it is 125....We have a total of 120 people on our guest list already, and I somehow forgot to add a very good friend to my list. I do have co-workers on my list, some that mean a lot to me and some that ehh I could say eff em...here is my dilemma. One CW was married last year and I was invited to wedding..I went by myself bc FI couldn't make it and now I feel like I have to return the favor and the thing is, if more family members step forward, I don't want to say no to them (not to mention I have a slight hope for a make up with my dad or sister - but it is a longshot)...

Question is - how do I say or tell this person that I can't invite them? She is more of a friend at work then a friend outside of work, we don't hang out, we don't call each other etc..but she is very judgemental and demanding and could be a b@eotch about this. This is a person who has told me if I have my flower girls dress in summer dresses, that my BM's have to go casual - very her way or no way...any ideas of how to politely let down someone?
Posted on May 29, 2008 at 4:07 am
kpn
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06/13/2009
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(3) Comments

HolyMolyMatrimony
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08/31/2008
HolyMolyMatrimony

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The work thing is so hard, b/c they no so much about wedding stuff and stress, but yet you don't want to invite all of them, you know? We have been using the excuse "were having a small wedding" or "our vendor can't have that many guest and family is maxing us out" etc. Then people don't really have an expectation- down the line if they get invited then cool.

We also have 120ppl and maxed out on our guest list- but haven't sent out the invites yet, have you? They say plan on 10-15% declining. Then you may have room for the additionals, you know?

Its hard not to feel obligated to invite people, everyone goes through it, I'm just trying to follow my heart and really think who I want there to share our special day with.

- HMM :)
Posted on May 29, 2008 at 4:24 am
rach29
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11/22/2008
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Are you at 120 invited or 120 have said yes? I think there is the 20% decline rate...

Dirty or USC April would know better :)
Posted on May 29, 2008 at 4:25 am
abattyref
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10/06/2007
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If I was in this situation it would be simple, no co-workers are invited unless we're friends and hang out together outside of work. Don't let her being judgmental and demanding pressure you into inviting her. If you really don't think that you'll have room, just be honest and say, "our venue has a mamimum number of guests allowed and because of it, FI and I aren't inviting any co-workers." If she gets all bitchy about it, then she needs to get over herself. ;-) It'll probably be easier if you stop talking about the wedding at work too.

HMM is right that you'll probably have 10%-15% of the guests decline anyway. We invited about 200 guests and the venue maxed out at 160. We ended up with about 156 guests actually showing up.

Good luck!
Posted on May 29, 2008 at 4:44 am

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